Mooloo’s Managing it in 2018

Cairn

Mooloo, I do read but rarely post. You have my sympathy for what!!!8217;s happened with you son.

I just wanted to say that I think your BF is being extremely selfish, this is not the time to be talking to you about anything like that. Ideally he should be around helping and comforting you like I!!!8217;m sure you did when his daughter had a surprise baby.

Instead he is putting another !!!8216;issue!!!8217; on your already loaded table.

Can I ask, you mentioned class A and B a few days ago. Is DS and/or girlfriend on heroin?

How are the children?

This is a very sad situ. I agree with others that you support from the backseat.

Eager_Elephant

((Mooloo))

Its very heartening to read that you have friends in real life and on here to support you.

I am not sure what (ex)BF is playing at - it seems like he doesn't want you but then doesn't want anyone else to have you.
I know 14 years is a long time but that doesn't matter, imagine if you look back in another 14 years and nothing has changed.

As you know I am divorcing my husband after 17 years of marriage and 19 years together - I am under 40 but I don't want to reach 60 and regret my life so decisions have been made.

The problem is when our marriage is good its really good and when its bad its really bad and I hate these ups and downs.

I am trying to remember that if I always do what I have always done then I cant complain when I get what I have always got.
I need to make changes and I honestly think (D)H will thank me for this in a few years - if nothing else I hope it makes him a better partner for someone else.

ivyleaf

ScarletRibbons wrote: »

Mooloo, you have so many "virtual" friends on here wishing you well.

All you can do now is keep going, and put DGD and yourself first. Tragic as the situation is, it's too big for you, you can't take on any more.

BF and his mind games are irrelevant compared to your family problems, put him to the back of your mind.

Wishing you all the very best and hoping you get through all this.

I definitely agree with this

(((HUGS))) Mooloo.

beanielou

So glad that you have friends.
They are so important

Savvy_sewing

I have plodded through the day, I sat outside with a cup of tea around 9 am. Then I sewed until 1.30 had another cup of tea on the swing seat and back to my sewing. Dgd was in the pool for a few hours on her dolphin, but she got board. My friend took her out for a few hours in the afternoon, and I just sewed until I had finished nearly all of it. I couldn't do one thing because I didn't have the right colour thread, and another because it's a coat that needs relining and that will take two or three hours.
But I have given myself a chance to catch up at work now.
I have been contacted by someone to alter a dress for Saturday and I have said No. we are fully booked for fittings and are working on two week turn around.
I would have squeezed her in before but have realised that if she only asks for her dress to be altered 4 days before a wedding then it's her problem and bad planning and not worth adding to my pressure especially as she was not one of my regular customers. In fact someone recommended me on Facebook.
Funny how a Shop with such a prominent position near the town hall isn't on her radar.
I truely believe people walk around with their eyes blinkered!
Biggest invited us to a BBQ this evening, so Dgd and I went but the atmosphere was terrible. Her husband said he had been to see DS and apparently he didn't ask after the boys and he was still smoking in his car!!!
So the police didn't even get all of the drugs.

I don't know what the class A was. I only know what cannabis is from my days in the pub trade.
BF is saying hello, general chit chat about the weather, gardens and going for bike rides, beers and walks. Totally ignoring any of the issues etc. But to be honest I cannot process much else anyway.
I need to do the wages and then bed.
I dare not think about what may happen or not anymore.

beanielou

Bloody hell.
How scary that your DS does not to have taken what has happened on board.

Savvy_sewing

Now you know why I want to pack my bags and run away.
I don't want to deal with this anymore.
I am destroyed. My family is torn apart.
I hate my life.
They say if you don't like it change it!
But I cannot afford to change it.

Cairn

Mooloo, you cannot change how people behave but you can change how you react to it.

I know this is all extremely serious and you must be terrified having been here before (child neglect/social services/child removal), but your children are adults, your support does not have to be all encompassing.

You gave your all when you bought them up, it!!!8217;s time for them to take responsibility or consequences.

At least you know the boys are safe each night.

Savvy_sewing

Dgd just asked to go to her Mum's because she's not happy here. Then she asked if we can go away to Portugal.
My heart is broken at the moment.
I am angry like my daughter and her husband at my son and his GF.
BF is sprouting platitudes but no plans how to follow through. I am not falling for it at the moment.

ognum

Mooloo wrote: »

Dgd just asked to go to her Mum's because she's not happy here. Then she asked if we can go away to Portugal.
My heart is broken at the moment.
I am angry like my daughter and her husband at my son and his GF.
BF is sprouting platitudes but no plans how to follow through. I am not falling for it at the moment.

I know you will be aware of this but children are experts at exploiting are vulnerabilities. DGD is well aware that you are down and unhappy, things have changed for her too. BF is not around, she knows DS children are with Biggest and will have overheard conversations etc.

Do you think you need to sit her down and ask her if she’s has any questions about what is happening, she is vulnerable and clearly needs support, maybe even some independent talking therapy?