Refusing to pay rent please help

Comms69

iammumtoone wrote: »

I would say anecdotal evidence is of more use than guess work/assumptions.

In my case the police did not take action again my ex as I didn't want to press charges (I don't know the figure but suspect that is actually rare to happen, I know I wasn't pushed on this), BUT they did take action to make sure they did all they could to make sure I was safe.

In the UK individuals do not press charges.

freeisgood

PS Can you not just remove his name off YOUR council tenancy? Is it not that simple?

AdrianC

freeisgood wrote: »

PS Can you not just remove his name off YOUR council tenancy? Is it not that simple?

It's as much his tenancy as hers now. If she can remove his, he could instead remove hers.

NeilCr

As opposed to guesswork and opinions here’s a good guide from Women’s Aid on the police and DV. It, also, has some 24 hour support numbers

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/police-and-the-cps/

I have friends who both work and volunteer with the local DV unit and they say the police, in this area, anyway, are very supportive and do act

iammumtoone

Comms69 wrote: »

In the UK individuals do not press charges.

no they don't but in my case they listened to me when I said I didn't want to. I can only speak form personal experience but having been in that situation I can guess that it is fairly common people do not want to press charges. If the police went around pressing charges in these situations without the victims consent it would have a detrimental effect on how many called the police to seek help.

Victims of DV don't necessarily want charges pressed they want to be safe and want help to get away, pressing charges is probably not high on their priority list at that time.

Red-Squirrel_2

Comms69 wrote: »

Look, there are millions of relationships where one person works and the other doesn't. We don't claim that to be financial abuse

That's not the situation here, you seem to want to minimise what the OP is going through for some reason, or not believing her. If you have some sort of personal issue or beef about this subject, surely best to just avoid these posts?

Comms69

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

That's not the situation here, you seem to want to minimise what the OP is going through for some reason, or not believing her. If you have some sort of personal issue or beef about this subject, surely best to just avoid these posts?

That's your opinion.


I suggest we just leave it there, we both have the right to express our opinions and beliefs on any topic on this forum.


If you don't like what I write can I suggest you just add me to your ignore list.

Red-Squirrel_2

Comms69 wrote: »

That's your opinion.


I suggest we just leave it there, we both have the right to express our opinions and beliefs on any topic on this forum.


If you don't like what I write can I suggest you just add me to your ignore list.

I don't ignore, I prefer to challenge and correct where necessary. If everybody ignored you, people like the OP might assume you were right.

iammumtoone

Comms69 wrote: »

I suggest we just leave it there, we both have the right to express our opinions and beliefs on any topic on this forum.

If you don't like what I write can I suggest you just add me to your ignore list.

Regulars can add you to ignore if they wish, unfortunately lurkers can't and that is where the problem lies.

Of course you are entitled to an opinion this is an open forum, however on sensitive threads like this is is best to stay away if you can't offer correct advise/facts.

Even if the OPs post is not the truth (personally I believe them) then there will be others who could be reading/lurking who that situation or similar is very real for them. Those people need help and encouragement to got out of the situation, comments like yours do not help and could in the worse case stop someone who is vulnerable asking for help.

In threads like this if you believe them or not please think very carefully about how your comments could be perceived by a vulnerable person (be that the OP or someone reading)

Comms69

iammumtoone wrote: »

Regulars can add you to ignore if they wish, unfortunately lurkers can't and that is where the problem lies.

Of course you are entitled to an opinion this is an open forum, however on sensitive threads like this is is best to stay away if you can't offer correct advise/facts.

Even if the OPs post is not the truth (personally I believe them) then there will be others who could be reading/lurking who that situation or similar is very real for them. Those people need help and encouragement to got out of the situation, comments like yours do not help and could in the worse case stop someone who is vulnerable asking for help.

In threads like this if you believe them or not please think very carefully about how your comments could be perceived by a vulnerable person (be that the OP or someone reading)

I haven't at any point said the OP is lying. I asked qualifying questions, then gave an opinion.


It's not 'wrong', prosecution is difficult. It's stressful and is far from guaranteed.


For example a solicitor would advise the defendant - and may say something along the lines of - This relationship is no different to millions of others where one party works and provides the majority of the household income, my client is being held to a different standard simply because of his gender. There is no evidence of violence or coercion. This is a family disagreement about money and the state has no place to interfere.


That is a real possibility. And I don't think sugar coating it for victims is a good thing.


My suggestion was the OP saving up and making a clean break. It may not be the 'best' solution, but it's the one she would be in control of totally. There is nothing fundamentally wrong with that.


The whole point is for the OP and others to receive a spectrum of responses and then make a decision. If all they saw was police and prosecute and 1: they didn't want to or 2: that failed. What then?