Refusing to pay rent please help

Cakeguts

Where did he live before he moved in with you? Did he marry you to get somewhere to live?

Poppypen

He lived at his parents before living with me. I believe he probably did move in to get a house. There is emotional/psychological abuse going on. The police have been involved once. A refuge has offered to move me and my 3 DD but are unable to take my 18 year old DS so if I were to go there he would become homeless.

Red-Squirrel_2

Poppypen wrote: »

He lived at his parents before living with me. I believe he probably did move in to get a house. There is emotional/psychological abuse going on. The police have been involved once. A refuge has offered to move me and my 3 DD but are unable to take my 18 year old DS so if I were to go there he would become homeless.

That's a real shame but I can understand why. Is there another family member he could stay with until you are back on your feet? I'd say he should talk to someone at the council's housing department but with things the way they are at the moment I don't know if they'll help him.

Have you asked the refuge/charity what alternative help they can offer you as you aren't willing to abandon your son?

It looks like Refuge have an advice line for men, it might be worth a call on behalf of your son, he is a victim too as your partner's abuse of you is putting him at risk of homelessness.

https://www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/help-for-men/i-am-being-abused/

HampshireH

Refuge shouldn't be your only option. You should have a specialist out reach service in your area (though I understand these are more limited that they were)

They can advise you on whether you would be entitled to an occupation order. You can apply for these yourself. However having attended in support as an advocate, it can often be a very stressful experience which done alone is harder.

An Outreach worker should be able to support you in obtaining one (and assessing the likelihood of you being granted one based on evidence).

Many Domestic Abuse services are linked up with local solicitors who run legal surgeries together. May be helpful.

Poppypen

Thank you. Unfortunately I haven't been in a position to call again as H off work for Xmas/new year. I will be calling them again on Tuesday once I can use the phone. Xx

Poppypen

Also please don't think I don't appreciate all replies because my replies are short. It's just it's not easy to go on here with him around at the moment. But thank you all anyway xx

Red-Squirrel_2

Stay safe, I hope you have a solution soon.

Loanranger

You have four children and so worst thing you can do is move out. I have no idea re the legal situation but seems to me that you should tough it out and stay in your home. Get legal advice.

catshark88

Also, try posting on the Relationships board on Mumsnet. It is a source of a lot of well informed advice and much support.

Samsung_Note2

My late mother went through something similar only minus children living with her.

Even after divorce and numerous attendances from Police due to her Husband being abusive (he even spat at a female officer when he was being questioned,right charmer) the Housing association/police couldn't do anything.

Only after he wanted to leave did he...shocking the abuse my late mother had to endure.

Whilst it may be terrible advice on the surface,id say find somewhere to live,even as a temp measure,as your General Health/Mental Health and the well being of your children is the most important thing.