Chickenpox

pollyanna24

cjdavies wrote: »

If your children never had it, would you still have your nephew there for dinner?

No, probably not as I wouldn't them to catch it.

I can see where you are going with this. But the reason I did research was to see if there was any risk of the gf getting it, and there isn't, so there shouldn't be an issue.

If there was a risk (or they believe there to be a risk), I think they should miss out, not me. Cos I'm selfish obviously.

If the issue is down to:-

my girls missing Xmas dinner with my family, or
my girls missing Xmas dinner with their dad's family,

I'm obviously going to choose the former though, even if there wasn't bad blood between me and my ex.

cyantist

I was exposed to chickenpox when pregnant, though it was direct contact so I was more at risk.
I went to the doctor, who tested and confirmed I wasn't immune to it so he had to apply to the department of health, who sent immunoglobulin injections to my doctor (after a lengthy phone call from them to quiz me) to reduce the severity of the outbreak, which I was told it was 99% certain I'd get.
In the meantime I couldn't go to work or have any contact with anyone else who was pregnant.
I was told if I came out in spots to go to hospital for an immediate caesarean and that there was a 30% chance my baby would be born with a fatal version of chicken pox.
I know it's unlikely for the gf to get it but if she did it can be very serious and people just don't realise. The incubation period is usually 10-21 days but can be less - though as they are seeing her the day after I can't see they could pass it on regardless. But just in case I'd probably not send them.
I never did get it in the end, thankfully!

pollyanna24

cyantist wrote: »

I was exposed to chickenpox when pregnant, though it was direct contact so I was more at risk.
I went to the doctor, who tested and confirmed I wasn't immune to it so he had to apply to the department of health, who sent immunoglobulin injections to my doctor (after a lengthy phone call from them to quiz me) to reduce the severity of the outbreak, which I was told it was 99% certain I'd get.
In the meantime I couldn't go to work or have any contact with anyone else who was pregnant.
I was told if I came out in spots to go to hospital for an immediate caesarean and that there was a 30% chance my baby would be born with a fatal version of chicken pox.
I know it's unlikely for the gf to get it but if she did it can be very serious and people just don't realise. The incubation period is usually 10-21 days but can be less - though as they are seeing her the day after I can't see they could pass it on regardless. But just in case I'd probably not send them.
I never did get it in the end, thankfully!

It's not a case of not sending them. It's not my choice to make. They will go if ex and gf are happy with it and they haven't said they're not.

I do think it is all quite a bit silly. The gf could come into contact with anyone at any time who has knowingly or unknowingly been in contact with someone else who has chickenpox. But as someone pointed out to me, I do know and so I have passed on the relevant information.

And like you say, you came in direct contact with someone who had chickenpox, so a bit more riskier than my situation, and then you didn't get it anyway.

Marvel1

pollyanna24 wrote: »

If the issue is down to:-

my girls missing Xmas dinner with my family, or
my girls missing Xmas dinner with their dad's family,

I'm obviously going to choose the former though, even if there wasn't bad blood between me and my ex.

Who did they have dinner with last year? Maybe alternate each year?

pollyanna24

We already do alternate years.

Last year he had them Xmas Eve, so could do the whole santa thing in the morning. Then they came back to me for Xmas dinner on Xmas Day.

This year, I have them Xmas Eve night and Xmas Day morning and he is getting them Xmas Day for dinner and to stay over until Boxing Day.

Me and my family are doing the dinner a day early as we don't have the children on the actual day.

badmemory

Choose your words carefully when telling them about the chickenpox & you can pretty much guarantee they will be having Xmas dinner with your family. You can just make it easier for the ex's gf to get what she wants. I wonder how she would cope if the whole class got nits?

cyantist

pollyanna24 wrote: »

It's not a case of not sending them. It's not my choice to make. They will go if ex and gf are happy with it and they haven't said they're not.

I do think it is all quite a bit silly. The gf could come into contact with anyone at any time who has knowingly or unknowingly been in contact with someone else who has chickenpox. But as someone pointed out to me, I do know and so I have passed on the relevant information.

And like you say, you came in direct contact with someone who had chickenpox, so a bit more riskier than my situation, and then you didn't get it anyway.

It's a lot less risky, the chance is ridiculously low. Also I didn't notice if you mentioned whether she has had chickenpox before but there are very few adults in this country who have never had chickenpox and if she's had it she'd be less likely to get it again anyway.
It sounds like she isn't being over the top which is great - I just wanted to say that if she did say she didn't want them to go she isn't necessarily just being paranoid (although she sounds like she is paranoid at the best of times!)

Marvel1

pollyanna24 wrote: »

We already do alternate years.

Last year he had them Xmas Eve, so could do the whole santa thing in the morning. Then they came back to me for Xmas dinner on Xmas Day.

This year, I have them Xmas Eve night and Xmas Day morning and he is getting them Xmas Day for dinner and to stay over until Boxing Day.

Me and my family are doing the dinner a day early as we don't have the children on the actual day.

Ah yes, I get confused when Xmas day is when people talk about dinner I always think of Sunday.

paddy's_mum

cyantist wrote: »

it can be very serious and people just don't realise

I am so glad you wrote this and I couldn't agree more! People do treat chickenpox as a 'trivial' childhood illness..which in most cases, it is.

However, it is also a 'whole body' virus and in a few very unfortunate cases can cause physical devastation.

My dearest friend lost her own 10 year old child to uncontrollable febrile convulsions of chickenpox and such a senseless death taught me a degree of respect that has never left me.

gettingtheresometime

Why the inflammatory language?

Surely it would be better to tell the ex the facts as they are & ask what they would prefer to happen.