Chickenpox

Nicki

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Thank you. I have notified him stating what I believe to be true, but said he can do his own homework.

Cos really the worse thing would be for the kids to go to his and to be turned away at the door if one of them blurts it out.

I've been the grown up. Quite proud of myself, haha.

No the worst thing would be if the half sibling is born with any form of disability and your children are told by their father or his new partner that they caused it. Or likewise if she miscarried and they were blamed however wrongly or unfairly. That would cause permanent emotional scarring way in excess of them having to miss seeing him on Christmas Day once.

Red-Squirrel_2

Attila_the_Bun wrote: »

Don't adults get shingles?

Shingles is the reactivation of the latent chickenpox virus.

It is possible to get actual chickenpox more than once, but its very very rare.

Red-Squirrel_2

Nicki wrote: »

No the worst thing would be if the half sibling is born with any form of disability and your children are told by their father or his new partner that they caused it. Or likewise if she miscarried and they were blamed however wrongly or unfairly. That would cause permanent emotional scarring way in excess of them having to miss seeing him on Christmas Day once.

I think that would actually be abusive though, you can't really plan around the possibility of that kind of insane behaviour.

pollyanna24

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I think that would actually be abusive though, you can't really plan around the possibility of that kind of insane behaviour.

Thanks for your more rational answer than the one you were quoting!

Cos really surely the worst thing would be for her to miscarry this child and blame on my kids and then miscarry any subsequent kids and still blame them for that as well?

pollyanna24

Attila_the_Bun wrote: »

That would be horrible for them, would he really do that?

Sounds like he's got young children with you and already got the next one pregnant, so possibly not the most responsible bloke on the planet, I suppose. You do get men like that.

My are youngish. 9 and 7.

Nicki

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Thanks for your more rational answer than the one you were quoting!

Cos really surely the worst thing would be for her to miscarry this child and blame on my kids and then miscarry any subsequent kids and still blame them for that as well?

If that wouldn't happen great but you were the one who thought that rather than discuss things rationally your ex would shut the door in the face of your kids on Christmas Day so clearly the family dynamic isn't perfect.

I'm the kid of a non nuclear family who was blamed for the death of a sibling (who died of completely natural causes unrelated in any way to me) so I have experienced first hand irrational grief responses and the very unpleasant things which can be said.

Silvertabby

“ Don't adults get shingles?
Originally posted by Attila the Bun ”

Shingles is the reactivation of the latent chickenpox virus.

It is possible to get actual chickenpox more than once, but its very very rare. Posted by Red-Squirrel

I've had chickenpox twice, shingles once (when I was just 13) and mumps twice. Some people just can't seem to build up a natural immunity.

Can't remember the last time I had 'flu, though!

PasturesNew

Your kids could've sat next to any random Tom, !!!! or Harry that had chickenpox in a public place or at school and you might not have even known.

But, you do know - and there are other people's views to take into consideration. The gf should have the choice of whether to receive your children at Xmas under the circumstances - and if you don't like her choice then that's "your fault" as you're the one who knowingly brought the potential issue into the fold.

As it is at the moment, you're the one with all the choices/options which you've weighed up .... and appear to then be taking the stance that if somebody thinks differently to your version of the situation then they are inherently wrong and would "spoil" your children's Xmas.

Gf needs to decide whether/not to allow the children to visit. Then, if she says "no" you need to choose whether you'd prefer to have your nephew visit, or your children to visit their father.

To do otherwise is playing with other people's lives and choices.

There might be private information about the pregnancy, or the gf, that you've not been told because "it's private", something that might be important in light of the new information about potential cross-contamination of chickenpox germs.

The gf gets to decide; you get to choose.

pollyanna24

Nicki wrote: »

If that wouldn't happen great but you were the one who thought that rather than discuss things rationally your ex would shut the door in the face of your kids on Christmas Day so clearly the family dynamic isn't perfect.

I'm the kid of a non nuclear family who was blamed for the death of a sibling (who died of completely natural causes unrelated in any way to me) so I have experienced first hand irrational grief responses and the very unpleasant things which can be said.

Okaaay, sorry to hear about your experience, but yes, I honestly can see him turning them away at the door if one of them blurted it out.

His gf seems a bit neurotic (wouldn't even let the girls go near her or her own kids when they had the flu jab) about things, and what she says, goes, and she wouldn't have any problem telling me to take them home again.

pollyanna24

PasturesNew wrote: »

Your kids could've sat next to any random Tom, !!!! or Harry that had chickenpox in a public place or at school and you might not have even known.

But, you do know - and there are other people's views to take into consideration. The gf should have the choice of whether to receive your children at Xmas under the circumstances - and if you don't like her choice then that's "your fault" as you're the one who knowingly brought the potential issue into the fold.

As it is at the moment, you're the one with all the choices/options which you've weighed up .... and appear to then be taking the stance that if somebody thinks differently to your version of the situation then they are inherently wrong and would "spoil" your children's Xmas.

Gf needs to decide whether/not to allow the children to visit. Then, if she says "no" you need to choose whether you'd prefer to have your nephew visit, or your children to visit their father.

To do otherwise is playing with other people's lives and choices.

There might be private information about the pregnancy, or the gf, that you've not been told because "it's private", something that might be important in light of the new information about potential cross-contamination of chickenpox germs.

The gf gets to decide; you get to choose.

At 1.15pm, I took the decision to tell him. Mainly cos I can't be arsked with the moaning if I didn't, not for any other reason.