Own my own property and boyfriend wants to move in temporarily to save money

Attila_the_Bun

MallyGirl wrote: »

They are a guesstimate at best - no one has ever asked me that question and so I am not represented in those figures.

Oh well you'd better complain to the office of national statistics, then.

Clearly they've got it all wrong because they didn't write to you personally and ask for your opinion

Tabbytabitha

Attila_the_Bun wrote: »

Any comment from you vis-a-vis the actual ONS statistics on the subject?

...thought not

Given that you didn't attribute the graph you used, you can hardly be surprised if the response to it is somewhat muted.

ThumbRemote

Attila_the_Bun wrote: »

Well, the people who say I'm lying or exaggerating have gone strangely quiet when presented with FACTS as opposed to a few one-sided anecdotes which can't be backed up.

Just sayin'

You don't seem to understand the difference between averages and individuals.

The average may be that women do more housework, as per the ONS stats.
Individual households are likely to vary significantly.

Hence using averaged stats as 'proof' of this claim is ridiculous:

Attila_the_Bun wrote: »

You find me a household where the household chores and cooking are genuinely shared 50-50 Male-Female and I'll find you a sober Irishman on March 17th.

Attila_the_Bun

ThumbRemote wrote: »

You don't seem to understand the difference between averages and individuals.

The average may be that women do more housework, as per the ONS stats.
Individual households are likely to vary significantly.

Hence using averaged stats as 'proof' of this claim is ridiculous:

ONS statistics will look at trends, not individuals. I would have thought that was obvious to most people, but evidently not to most people on here.......

The statistics show that women do far more housework than men.

Spurious claims to the contrary made by anonymous posters on a forum don't affect the facts.




Now, can we get back to the original topic?

Malthusian

Attila_the_Bun wrote: »

Well I don't have any statistics on drunken Irishmen, but I'll let the figures regarding division of labour within the home speak for themselves

Those statistics tell us absolutely nothing about division of labour in a two-person heterosexual household. It is skewed by the fact that a single man (or several men housesharing) will spend less time on cooking and cleaning than a single woman (or women housesharing). Especially in the younger age groups.

Notice that the amount of housework done by men rockets with age, whereas stereotypically you would think that older men would be less inclined to do housework than progressive millennials. This confirms that the graph mainly shows that once men reach an age where they are probably married and have their own house they do housework, whereas when they are under 30 and living by themselves or with other single men they let the dust pile up in their rented flat and eat takeaways.

I probably do slightly more housework than my fianc!e because we share cooking and have a cleaner, and I have the edge because I iron my shirts. When we were living apart, she would have done significantly more housework than me because she cleaned her flat and I didn't bother. The statistics show that women do more housework than men on average but that does not reflect the division of labour between a couple.

The fact is that there is no reason to believe that the OP's boyfriend is a Neanderthal.

maman

Attila_the_Bun wrote: »

Any comment from you vis-a-vis the actual ONS statistics on the subject?

...thought not

I'm no Pinnochio honestly but I can believe the statistics even if I'm one of the 'lucky' ones.

I think I owe my good fortune to my MIL. She had 11 children and didn't differentiate between what boys and girls were expected to do. A woman after my own heart and ahead of her time.

More seriously, I do think mothers are very influential in this. They often bring up boys with expectations that they will be waited on hand and foot and this is perpetuated when they form adult relationships.

Personally I wouldn't accept that things have to stay that way but I do know women (many surprisingly young) who think that's the way to show love. Then there are others who choose to be a housewife /SAHM as a lifestyle choice as it's an easier and more comfortable option than forging a career.

svain

People love to complicate this kind of thing when in reality its very easy ... If you don’t want him to be able to make a claim against you for a share of your property if you were to split up, the best option is to have a written agreement that spells this out.

Forget how long you have been together, forget you only have one bedroom flat at the moment. Life is short, let him move in (assuming you happy) and see how it goes.


As for the "chores must be divided equally" mob .... Ignore them, its nothing to do with what you asked and none of anyone's business how the chores are divided

robpw2

Comms69 wrote: »

Yes he couldn't do that. Why waste £200 on a solicitor

i can see what the solicitor would get out of this .. and it is christmas lol :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

robpw2

ManofLeisure wrote: »

OP, you say you haven't been going out for very long and so I would question how well you actually know this chap. My feeling is probably 'not that well' - in which case it might be sensible to err on the side of caution and wait for a while. I understand that financially things are tough, but you have managed on your own so far .

me and my husband moved in together after 2 weeks .. 11 years later with three years of marriage nearly 4 ... it can work out for the best lol

JIL

Attila_the_Bun wrote: »

You find me a household where the household chores and cooking are genuinely shared 50-50 Male-Female and I'll find you a sober Irishman on March 17th.

I will send you my address, we share chores equally.

Also my husband is Irish and he will be sober on 17 March. He was last year as well.

Two birds, one stone!