Own my own property and boyfriend wants to move in temporarily to save money

ManofLeisure_2

OP, you say you haven't been going out for very long and so I would question how well you actually know this chap. My feeling is probably 'not that well' - in which case it might be sensible to err on the side of caution and wait for a while. I understand that financially things are tough, but you have managed on your own so far .

getmore4less

Malthusian wrote: »

Washing shared, housework shared? The OP didn't say her boyfriend is a character from a 1940s sitcom.
......

assumption.

System

I wouldnt worry. It will either make or break the relationship.

WibblyGirly

I moved in with my partner after knowing each other for 5 months.
Have you both lived with other people in the past? I feel this helped us decide what we wanted sooner as we'd done it before and knew what we certainly didn't want!

Red-Squirrel_2

One bed flat? That's a lot of pressure on a new relationship, none of your own space at all!

hazyjo

It's REALLY emotionally hard to boot someone out, they can guilt trip you into letting them stay, or you just feel there's unnatural pressure on forcing the relationship to work. If just BF/GF, it's easy to break up and move on. Living together is a completely different ballgame. It's not like a lodger, it's making a massive commitment to a relationship to move in with someone.

Date (cheaply!) for longer, then let him move in if the relationship feels solid enough.

Mrs_Ryan

Myself and my partner have been together nearly 12 years, I moved in temporarily after 3 months and 11.5 years later I’m still there. He won’t allow me to pay towards bills (or if I do he insists I give him the cash and he pays into his account so there’s no trace- sneaky) He does get single occupier discount on council tax but only because I’m a full time student and so have exemption.
However he is well aware of what the position would be if we broke up- he knows I’m not interested in the house (there is equity in it, the major works have not long been done but there’s other stuff needs doing to it and I really couldn’t care less) but I own the TV and his X Box, I have the controls to the boiler on my phone (we have Hive and he doesn’t have a smartphone) and several other reasonably minor things that I take care of and I think to be honest the loss of the TV and XBox would bother him more!

FBaby

Your first step is to talk to HIM. You need to get an idea of what he is expecting in the finest detail so you can get a sense of his attitude to you two moving in together. Your biggest problem as you've said is that you don't know him well. You don't know if he is struggling because he has debts issues he has been hiding from you so far, or because he can't keep a job, or because he gambles. You don't know whether he will consider that all he has to do is pay you for 1/2 the utilities, but then use twice as much. You don't know if he will consider that he is contributing towards your mortgage. You don't even know if he'll have enough money at the end of the month to pay you what he owes, let alone if he will consider that it is his place so it is ok for him to invite his friends for a big party without consulting you.

Moving in with someone is a BIG step and one that is much more likely to go wrong than well when you do so before getting to know each other better. The problems that can results from it could be much worse than the fact that you are struggling a bit currently at the end of the month. So don't make ANY decision right now. Try to see him more often, talk about life, priorities, budgeting, domestic roles etc... so that you get at least a flavour of what to expect and only if there are no warning bells ringing can you then start discussing what it would actually mean to be moving in together.

Comms69

chesky wrote: »

The OP doesn't have to waste money on a solicitor, she can get a referral from her local CAB and others will offer a free advice service.

Free legal advice - ye that sounds just great...

Malthusian

getmore4less wrote: »

assumption.

A fairly safe one for someone who takes their username from either a gemstone or a moth. Unlike the assumption that the OP was dating someone from a 1940s sitcom, which was based on zero information.

onomatopoeia99 wrote:

Only if there is an agreement (express or implied) that he accquires a beneficial interest through paying rent, and if implied, then there is a shared undertanding that this would happen.

Just paying rent doesn't automatically establish a beneficial trust.

Can't say I have much legal experience with this - but my impression was that if A moves into B's house and starts paying part of B's mortgage, and there is no express agreement because they don't really know what they're doing, if the relationship breaks down, B will have to buy A out.

Not sure how shared understanding can come into it. Once the relationship has broken down, A will say they understood they were paying the mortgage together and B will say they understood A was paying rent.