Don't like my dad's partner

z1a

svain wrote: »

what difference does it make?? .... The OP has every right to question it. For the record i dont think it is to do with inheritance





To the OP - I have a picture of your dad being a successful, fit for age, intelligent and well rounded individual ..... what on earth is he doing with an obese, smoking, loudmouth of a woman who seems to do little?? ... It doesnt make any sense to me ... Has he declared what her good qualities are??

The OP has NO right to question it.

svain

z1a wrote: »

The OP has NO right to question it.

They do, if there is genuine concerns on motive of new partner or concerns for parent well being

whattodo7

It’s not about inheritance, I actually suspect my dad will outlive me. My mother also has more wealth than my dad but she recently remarried a man who we all LOVE. He is kind, sociable, physically active, has lots of hobbies and enriches my mums life and brings out the best in her.

My dads girlfriend isn’t a loudmouth in front of us - she says very little in our company. Her arguing and demands are behind closed doors. But I was woken up by their row last week.

I think from what he says she laughs at his jokes and he enjoys the simple things with her - having someone to watch TV with and laugh with.

svain

whattodo7 wrote: »

It’s not about inheritance, I actually suspect my dad will outlive me. My mother also has more wealth than my dad but she recently remarried a man who we all LOVE. He is kind, sociable, physically active, has lots of hobbies and enriches my mums life and brings out the best in her.

My dads girlfriend isn’t a loudmouth in front of us - she says very little in our company. Her arguing and demands are behind closed doors. But I was woken up by their row last week.

I think from what he says she laughs at his jokes and he enjoys the simple things with her - having someone to watch TV with and laugh with.

Its difficult one .... my gut feeling from what you have written is your dad has got to a point, so has put his foot down and given her a few home truths (ref marriage/property etc) .... and she has realised which side her bread is buttered and accepted it (for time being anyway) .... I would take this as a good sign and he wont suffer a fool

ska_lover

I think you need to back off and let your Dad live his own life if I am honest

whattodo7

I haven’t said a word to my dad

gettingtheresometime

I do have an element of sympathy for the OP - I had a similar situation but in my case it was my FIL’s partner that I had that gut feeling about.

Never let on to my FIL or the woman concerned know my feelings but OH knew.

When FIL died a lot came out, about her behaviour, that upset OH.

I think the key is not to bad mouth her but be a sounding board when he wants to talk about the situation

Bennifred1

They certainly do sound like a mis-match! The good thing is that so far your Dad hasn't agreed to marry her or buy another house - nor does it sound as though he's likely to do so in the future. It's a pity he doesn't see himself as free to date though, especially as they aren't much of a "couple". That way he could go on the set-up date - and possible more - and find someone who is more compatible. Do you think that he's a bit short of confidence, and is settling for someone who shows some (any!) interest? Maybe he's scared of being alone, just like she is?
I agree with the poster who suggested that you should spend more time with your Dad - doing things outdoors, like camping or hiking etc. I can't imagine that she would enjoy that, and would probably cast a pall if she does insist on joining in - your Dad would notice that, surely?

getmore4less

Family especially children and parents can be too close, as the receiver of any wisdom/opinion from them there is always the they may be biased

What do his fishing mates think?

Kynthia

Just seeing it from the other side as if I was a friend of this woman.

So this lady has had to rely on the benefits system due to needing to care for her disabled daughter. She's in a relationship with this man who's recently retired. However he seems to only want to be in the relationship on his terms. He says they will never marry despite her loving him and feeling that marriage is the natural progression in a loving relationship. She'd also love to live with him, but wouldn't feel comfortable in the home he previously shared with his wife. She's suggested he buy somewhere else for them, and hasn't even asked for her name to be on the deeds despite her giving up where she lives. Yet he refuses and they row, resulting in him banning any discussion of marriage or them living together.

He makes her insecure as he doesn't seem to want her around his family. She has to ask to be invited but then she doesn't feel comfortable talking as she knows they look down on her for being a smoker and not slim. She's even overheard the term 'goldigger' being said behind her back. I think she needs soneone who wants to spend lots of time with her and makes her feel wanted, someone who she'll someday live with and marry. I don't think he's right her.