Don't like my dad's partner

pearl123

Voice your concerns, especially concerning finances.
Otherwise let them get on with it. Many couples do argue.

enjoyyourshoes

Go on an adventure with the 3 of you then.

Spend a few days hiking the hills, soon there will be the two of you, she can stay at the digs smoking and eating. You and your Dad can have peace and tranquility, amazing what that can do to the conversation and tam mount of topics covered.

SuperPikachu

I can appreciate the "none of your business" thing on some stuff, but this sounds like it needs intervention.

If it were my dad I would ask him what on earth he was doing. Maybe he just doesn't want to be alone and is putting up with it due to that.

My friends dad had a similar thing. Broke up with the mum then got with a lady who was living in a caravan with no money/job or anything (think he just met her in the local pub, my friend hated her but he was obviously biased). She waltzed in and pretty much took over his life, but he was a prat for allowing it.

Don't let your dad do the same!

Janey3

Think enjoyyourshoes idea would be a good idea.

Sounds like your dad needs to be more assertive. Has the lady got no hobbies she can do on a Sunday while your dad goes visiting. She's not making much effort is she?

I can understand your concern.

Fireflyaway

From what you say , your dad sounds like a pretty successful guy. Looks after himself, retired early and is financially stable etc. He doesn't sound vulnerable or easily conned. I can see you want him to be happy but I don't think he is being duped. He already avoided the marriage thing and not selling his house. Sounds like he knows what the is doing.
Just keep the good relationship you have and don't comment on the girlfriend too much. My guess is he will carry on as is, if it makes him happy. If it becomes unbearable I think he will break it off on his own accord.

CRANKY40

My dad's first girlfriend after my mum left was the girlfriend from hell. Unfortunately some people seem to think that if you don't like the new partner of a parent it must mean that you wish your parents were still together. My mum's boyfriend was also a nightmare and we hated him (he eventually married my mum then punched her in the face and she died from a bleed on the brain).

However, I digress....the sponging, awful girlfriend was caught out when she tried to say my dad had got her pregnant. My mum had insisted that dad have a vasectomy while they were still together and girlfriend wasn't party to that information. That's when we discovered that she was still seeing her ex-husband too. Dad gave in at that point, ditched her and for the last 20 years has lived with someone equally as strange as him, but OK as in they get along fine, share finances etc.....

I'd say marriage and buying a house together is off OP's dad's agenda for now but keep a listening ear open.

Ames

Just to give a possible other side of the story. If she's living in benefits, and especially if she's in social housing, then her moving in with him is risking a lot for her. If it doesn't work out she'll be homeless with a disabled daughter (of course they come as a package, why wouldn't they?). If she's moved in with him presumably she won't have any of her furniture. She'll have lost entitlement to any means tested benefits, and any transitional protection from future changes.

Is it so wrong that she wants commitment and a sense of security? Especially with a disabled child to think of?

If all that's not the case and she's a manipulative gold digging benefit cheat, then pitting yourself against her could backfire massively. A few years ago my dad started online dating. My sister was livid even though the woman he was seeing was perfectly nice, successful, and made him happy. My sister's attitude contributed to them breaking up. He then started looking on foreign dating websites and started 'seeing' a Russian woman. I treated it as a midlife crisis and waited for it to blow over, sister yet again meddled and tried to get him to 'see sense'. Eventually he did (the woman dumped him), but I'm sure it would have been over a lot sooner if sister hadn't made him stubbornly dig his heels in.

Marvel1

She sounds like a gold digger, I hope your Dad doesn't fall for it.

z1a

Don't like your Dads partner, or don't like watching your inheritance disappearing?

svain

z1a wrote: »

Don't like your Dads partner, or don't like watching your inheritance disappearing?

what difference does it make?? .... The OP has every right to question it. For the record i dont think it is to do with inheritance





To the OP - I have a picture of your dad being a successful, fit for age, intelligent and well rounded individual ..... what on earth is he doing with an obese, smoking, loudmouth of a woman who seems to do little?? ... It doesnt make any sense to me ... Has he declared what her good qualities are??