Mindful or Mind full?

Sunshine_girl2

Would be lovely to hear from you .

117pauline

Hello

Well it's been a long time since I was here. I actually logged in because I saw a post about what the poppy represents which was so wrong, I had to put the correct explanation.

So.....
I am still in Spain, now moved into my own apartment. I have only been here for a few weeks so settling in has been hard (see below).

This bit is hard.... my mum died two months ago. She had been very fit and well, living independently until late summer. I returned to the UK in August and mum was diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus.

With the support and help offered by her GPs, district nurses, carers but most of all, Springhill hospice at home team, we managed to keep her at home as she wished. It was very swift, ten days from diagnosis.

We managed to have numerous loving conversations and laughs. Many people came to see her and I spoke to others on her behalf. Mum told me who to call and why. I phoned them, explained what we had discussed then they gave me a story to relate back to her.

As you may know, I have felt very guilty in leaving the UK. At the funeral three different people told me that mum had thought me going to Spain was the best thing I had done for years.

In the end I managed to lose 34lb from October 1 2018 to September 30 2019. So I am going to continue to reduce my weight when I feel ready.

Still have the social anxiety thing but am trying my best to fight it. I have been selling poppies a couple of times and have even been to friendship meetups with a group called the Ladies of Spain. I have watched the start of the Vuelta, Spain's cycling tour; been to festivals and fiestas; been to classical concerts. It is a constant struggle to get out though.

Moneywise, I finally gave in and am in the process of selling my house in the UK. This is stressful on top of everything else but I am hoping that once done, it will make life much easier.

Now I am going to have a look around the diaries
Pauline

Sunshine_girl2

Sorry to hear about your mum , but so pleased you have decided to stay in Spain. I hope your house sale goes through as well as can be expected. Your life has certainly changed , long may it continue.

beanielou

So sorry to read about your mum.
Hope house sale goes smoothly.
Take care.

Cherryfudge

My condolences, Pauline. What a shock. It does sound as though you spent your time with her wisely and well, and how lovely that you heard later that she liked your choice of Spain.

Do stay in touch with us here as and when you want to: it's always good to hear from you. The house decision must have taken some doing but having your own place in Spain will help replant your roots.

117pauline

Thanks for the welcome back.

I am actually renting here for the moment. One of the main reasons for choosing this apartment was that it had no steps so it would be great for mum to come out. I am living in a small block close to the canal so suddenly I get flat walks at last. I have lots of birds visiting including hoopoes, owls, wagtails and many other birds I have yet to name. The parakeets are everywhere giving flashes of colours. It's only five mins by car to my friends.

It's still sunny here although getting colder by the day. I completely forgot to pack any winter clothes so I am trying to avoid buying any new clothes.

Having a quiet day after the service yesterday. It was truly amazing to see so many people turning up and made me feel very warm inside - unfortunately not on the outside as I didn't have a suitable coat and the wind was blowing a gale.

Hope everyone is going to have a good week
Take care
Pauline

Happy_Monday

Didn't want to read and run, and I've not had chance to read the rest of your diary, but I wanted to say I'm so sorry about your mum, that must have been such a shock for you.

Enjoy your time in Spain, it's somewhere I'm hoping to retire to in a few years.

Take care x

jwil

Sorry to hear about your Mum xx

Willowtree222

Lovely to hear from you. I am sorry to hear about your mum. I hope that this doesn't exasperate your anxiety at all.

If you being in Spain is helping, then you have absolutely done the right thing. It sounds like your mum understood that and saw that it was what you needed.

Big hugs xx

Sun_Addict

Great to hear from you again but so sorry to hear about your mum, what an awful shock.

Glad you're settling down in Spain and getting out and about. Hopefully you'll keep this up and begin to feel less anxious. Well done on the weight loss, you must feel better for it.

Take care Pauline and keep us updated when you can xx