A Simpler Life 2018

Cottage_Economy

Just realised loads of people have been thinking along the same lines as I was writing my post!

CRANKY40

The strange thing is though fuds is that your mam and my mum seem to have had the same sense of entitlement (except my mum was born in 1942) and also zero crafting skills. I was taught everything that I know - baking, cooking, sewing, crochet, knitting by my nana. My mum's family were poor - think loans off "the provvy man" for clothes and I always assumed that as my mum was the oldest child in the house the raw materials for teaching her either weren't available or in the case of food my gran couldn't take the chance of it being wasted. My mum died a long time ago but her youngest sister is still alive (and only 14 years older than me) so I'll ask her if my mum had the chance to learn or just didn't want to.

I have trouble with the sense of entitlement my mum had. She always wanted "things" and she was always going on about how much gold jewellery her best friend had. I now connect jewellery with that sense of always wanting more than you have and never wear any. I'm sure that makes my life simpler.

Cottage_Economy

CRANKY40 wrote: »

I have trouble with the sense of entitlement my mum had. She always wanted "things" and she was always going on about how much gold jewellery her best friend had. I now connect jewellery with that sense of always wanting more than you have and never wear any. I'm sure that makes my life simpler.

My parents also 'want' things, always have done. I remember being told that if I had money I should always upgrade my surroundings and buy good pieces of jewellry. They were always sulking around secondhand jewellry, antique shops or pawn shops. Their favourite saying is "You should be able to buy yourself nice things. You're earning!"

I see jewellry as something that will either drop off me and be lost or be snatched off me. I rarely wear anything bar my wedding and engagement rings.

Anyway, night night all. I promised myself I would read tonight so I'm going to go and do that.

Mrs_Salad_Dodger

GreyQueen wrote: »

:T Very very thoughtful and interesting post, fuddle, as always your thoughtfulness and self-awareness is impressive.

I'm an early-mid 1960s sproglette, born at the start of Gen X. Most of the bits of childhood that I remember well were in the 1970s, by the time of your own birth, I was already in secondary school.

So, not quite old enough to be of your mum's generation, but not of yours either. From this half-way persepctive, I'll chuck my two-pennorth in.

What happened seems to have had its root in the 1960s permissive society, the thought that almost anything goes. The 1950s, from my parents' point of view, were boring, rather shabby but broadly speaking safe. There was still a lot of bigotry about, and many things which would make any decent person cringe to hear nowadays were commonplaces of both everyday speech and even broadcast media, and this continued up until the 1980s

By the 1960s, this thing called the teenager had suddenly appeared and the idea that there was an intermediate stage between childhood and adulthood, with its own habits, costumes, language and pastimes was pretty new. Adolescence currently seems to extend to the early thirties for some people I encounter IRL........

Throughout the 1970s, despite the many bumps in the road re the oil crisis and other things, ordinary people were becoming richer. On the council estate where I grew up, people started getting cars. Nothing fancy, secondhand cortinas, escorts, things like that, but that was a new thing. Folks could suddenly afford the odd package holiday abroad, and other things, like new clothes which didn't have to be bought on terms via the catalogue book.

With thatcherism, and particularly the right-to-buy your council housing, the nascent consumer society elided smoothly into a worldview where people got grabby and me-first. There was a lot of unemployment in the early eighties (at the time I joined the job market) and there was also a sharp rift in the working classes, into the haves and have-nots. People seemed selfish and greedy, and the whole tenor of society was to encourage that and treat anyone who didn't want to play as quaint and silly. People seemed to move from establishing their reputation by deeds to promoting it by displays of conspicious consumption.

The folks who are twenty-somethings now are the children of my peers; in other words, the spawn of Gen X'ers. Like all generations, they contain the good, the bad and the middling, but there does seem to be a hardened sense of entitlement and a carelessness for others.

One example I see often enough is a lady who got her council home based on need as a lone parent. Subsequently, finding a new partner with their own home and moving in with them. Only not serving notice and releasing her council home to serve some other woman with children in their hour of need. Nope; move into new hubby's owner-occupied home after exercising your right-to-buy yours and then renting it out privately for double what the council charge asap the ink is dry on the contract.

Nothing illegal about it, of course, but is it a decent and moral way to behave? I'd contend it isn't but am aware that it makes me sound hopelessly naive. Because everyone should grab whatever they can and devil take the hindmost, hey?

With all things, the wheel will turn. Life is going to become economically more difficult, the steady improvement in standards of living which has been going on since WW2 is already over. Some folks have noticed this already (I expect it isn't news to old-stylers) and some are trying to hide their slipping income by borrowing to big themselves up. An awful lot of people sail very close to the wind and it doesn't take much to capsize their lifestyle.

Industrialised societies like our own are based on the premise that your can use finite resources on a finite planet as if they were infinite. You can't, of course, no amount of excitement about modern technology is going the buck the laws of physics. The future may well end up looking more like a quasi-Victorian steampunk novel than some shiny appleworld of loft living.

As life gets harder, community will be more important, and we may well revert to clans of extended families working co-operatively or folks forming clans of like-minded individuals.

In those cases, keeping up with the Jones is going to be so far from relevant that we'll wonder why we ever gave a four-ecks.

As Quentin Crisp sagely remarked Never keep up with the Jones. Drag them down to your level.

GreyQueen,

Just read your post and have to agree with everything you wrote (JUST made it into the 1950’s! So I think we are technically the same generation)

The people I feel sorriest for are the youngsters at secondary school (or whatever society is calling it this week!) They seem to have to decide their future occupations by about age 13 & sign up to the appropriate subjects - I was too busy trying to finish my homework so I could go to my swimming club or athletics club. The other thing I am peripherally aware of is that the ‘government’ seems to move the goalposts every few months - changes to core subjects, changes to exam grades & then society wonders why we seem to have a whole load of stressed out kids. Of course the only kids you see on TV at Results time are the ones who have a dozen ‘A****’ grades or whatever it is now. Everyone “wants” to go to “university” - whatever happened to colleges, polytechnics etc - then the ‘government’ cuts funding (so the kids end up with tens of thousands £ of debt, there are no jobs for those who are not academic, parents then get stressed out as they can’t afford to help their kids or have to have their kids at home until they are in their late 20’s.

Woah - I have to stop - there is so much ‘wrong’ in the world, where do you start?

I almost despair but then I think if we could all do a little bit (e.g. smile at & say hello to a stranger, pick up a bit of litter, sign a petition, donate an item to charity, listen to other people’s opinions, enjoy the very simple things in life - a glorious sunset, birds singing, a glimpse of a fox, the successes of family, friends & even strangers!) then perhaps we could start to make the world a better place. After all life is short and then we move on.

So sorry to have blathered on:)

MrsSD:):o “sooo confused”
“Can’t decide whether to be grumpy, disillusioned or hopeful”

Charis

ploppy57 wrote: »

I agree. I have cut down on bottles under the sink so much. I buy massive tubs of bicarb & massive bottles of white vinegar. Mix together for all sorts of cleaning jobs and add a squirt of lemon juice when doing the floors.

Funnily enough I was reading about the reaction between bicarb and vinegar only yesterday. I was surprised by what I read :eek:

Pooky

I’m an early 70’s child and remember the day we moved from a flat into my grandparents house. My parents had been lucky enough to rent a flat from Dads boss, 2 bedrooms, our own little garden and from what I recall, a vision of mustard and purple in each room. (The photos do back this up, it was hideous). When I was 4 we all moved in with my grandparents, they had a big Victorian terrace and Dad and grandad converted it so that we could live in the top two floors with grandparents living on the ground floor. I never understood why we moved there but it was lovely to have my grandparents on tap (wasn’t so great for Mum and I can understand that now). Turns out Dads boss hadn’t been keeping the books right and hadn’t paid anyone’s tax bill so my Dad was lumbered with a huge tax bill and the flat was reposssed when the boss had done a moonlight flit. So I was 4, my sister was 6 and it took until the year before my sister got married at 22 before they’d paid that tax bill off. They never found the boss bloke and because of him my parents suffered such a huge financial burden.

So keeping up with the jones didn’t happen in our house and it wasn’t until I went to the local grammar school and friends had housekeepers and ponies and went skiing every year that I reaslised that life was any different for others. I did have a few years of the “I wants” as my mum called it but I grew out of that.

When I left home my first flat was decorated in 50p a roll wall paper and paint donated by family and I accepted any offers of second hand furniture. It was homely and everyone commented on how welcome it felt. Money has never been something I’ve enjoyed and over the years we’ve had to claw our way through the month to make ends meet but we did it (mostly). I was lucky enough to stay home with DD’s, working from home when I could and taking in sewing jobs etc to get some pin money. We’ve not done the big holidays, the flash cars or the new furniture “just because” but we’ve been sensible and probably very boring to some....but we’re happy. When DH was involved in a car accident 9 years ago that left him disabled, we suddenly dropped from one good wage to nothing. That’s was emotionally hard but financially we’ve coped with the benefit system that’s in place for circumstances like this. We used the insurance payout to pay a huge chunk off the mortgage and make ourselves future proof and we laugh at those who say we should have spent it on a holiday of a lifetime (he’s not well enough to work, a holiday of a life time isn’t and never was an option). Yes you only live once but with owning a house comes the responsibity of upkeep and we know that we’re going to need major adaptions made in the next couple of years.

During this time both DD’s (19 and 22) have gone through school and collage and Uni for DD1 and both now work in their chosen careers and rent a flat together that is full of second hand furniture and oddments of China and cutlery offered by aunts and uncles. Both live simply, run a small car each and don’t do designer clothes or nights out, Both can cook from scratch and we received handmade gifts for Christmas. Both have house buying ISAs and DD1 is currently looking to purchase a shared ownership flat late next year.

We’ve not been preachy about our simple way of life, we’ve just done what’s right for us and luckily DDs have followed on. Don’t get me wrong, they have the latest phones but not on contract, they save and buy outright as it’s far cheaper and doesn’t involve a monthly burden. They both love their tech and it’s very much a part of their generation but they don’t let it consume them.

It’s very easy to say we need to go back to our parents generation for simplicity and less stress but my parents stress levels and the amount they needed to work to keep a roof over our heads isn’t something I’d ever want to go back to. We need to move forward making sure we carry on the basic quality’s of human kindness, being understanding and tolerant of others and learning that being different from the socially percived norm is absolutely fine.

dietdemon

Hi all

So interesting thinking about the cultural changes through the generations. I am in rhe process of trying to simplify life to be able to reduce my working hours/ free up time to do the things I want too. DH and I are busy renovating house we bought last year, so even more time pressure on top our jobs and commute!

We have had to replace dilapidated kitchen so new one coming in 2 weeks. It's a slow process but currently decluttering kitchen. Can't believe the number of gadgets we have still boxed!! From a time we were trying to keep up with Joneses!! All packed up to go to DS.

I have also decided to put dishwasher on freecycle. It takes more time to load/ unload and clean.

I too seem to have unnecessary cleaning products cluttering up my sink and laundry products these too will be reduced greatly.

Great thread happy Sunday everybody:)

dolly84

Mrs_Salad_Dodger wrote: »

Woah - I have to stop - there is so much ‘wrong’ in the world, where do you start?

I almost despair but then I think if we could all do a little bit (e.g. smile at & say hello to a stranger, pick up a bit of litter, sign a petition, donate an item to charity, listen to other people’s opinions, enjoy the very simple things in life - a glorious sunset, birds singing, a glimpse of a fox, the successes of family, friends & even strangers!) then perhaps we could start to make the world a better place. After all life is short and then we move on.

So sorry to have blathered on:)

MrsSD:):o “sooo confused”
“Can’t decide whether to be grumpy, disillusioned or hopeful”

Since man existed there has always been something wrong in the world - we have to try not to be too fed up by what is essentially just out little bit of 'wrong'. Things are always evolving and changing, moving forwards then back we just have to be adaptive and not always be wanting something better whether that 'better' is in the future or something from the past.

dolly84

dietdemon wrote: »

Hi all

So interesting thinking about the cultural changes through the generations. I am in rhe process of trying to simplify life to be able to reduce my working hours/ free up time to do the things I want too. DH and I are busy renovating house we bought last year, so even more time pressure on top our jobs and commute!

We have had to replace dilapidated kitchen so new one coming in 2 weeks. It's a slow process but currently decluttering kitchen. Can't believe the number of gadgets we have still boxed!! From a time we were trying to keep up with Joneses!! All packed up to go to DS.

I have also decided to put dishwasher on freecycle. It takes more time to load/ unload and clean.

I too seem to have unnecessary cleaning products cluttering up my sink and laundry products these too will be reduced greatly.

Great thread happy Sunday everybody:)

When my current dishwasher gives up the ghost I won't replace it. The main thing I like about it is putting things in it as I go along rather than having them piled up all around the sink or having to wash up 3 times a day. The amount of things I don't put in it (plastic lunchboxes etc) means I have to wash up anyway and have it running with all the other things, then when I empty it several things haven't come clean and have to go around again or be washed up.

GreyQueen

Well done for deciding to shed the dishwasher. My observation of folk who have them is that they can add greatly to stress; people who squabbled about who was to do the dishes by hand now squabble about who is to load/ unload the DW or whether said activity is being performed correctly in the first place. And sometimes people end up buying extra dishes because they don't have enough washing up to run the machine more than every few days and run out of clean dishes - madness.

A simplying trip for those with a houseful is something I learned about from a friend of my mother's. In brief, a remarriage led her to be chatelaine of a blended household of many teen boys, her own offspring and his. In order to stop mugs, plates, glassware etc disappearing into nooks and crannies all over the house where they would be left growing science experiments, she did the following;

Removed all but one example of each from general circulation and kept the spares under lock and key. Lost your mug, junior? Tough, better go find it or no cuppa for you.:rotfl: