A Simpler Life 2018

fuddle

I do wonder if confidence comes with accepting the greys at a relatively young age Pooky. I'm 38 and quite accepting of them but also you know that life can be incredibly difficult and that health is precious so I wonder if that also has a bearing.

I'll tell you why I dyed my hair last year and I'll try to keep it short.

As an adult I never kept in touch with any family or rather they didn't keep in touch with me. My Mam was an alcoholic and pushed everyone away and with those barriers it was just easier to let us (sister too) get on with dealing with Mam. My mam died at the end of 2016. At the funeral there was a lot of remorse from family and I really thought I would get some family support back. That never transpired past the funeral but hey ho. But my cousin continued to message me afterwards and I really wanted a relationship with her. I'm embarrassed to admit that I probably was desperate for an older role model. She was a mobile hair dresser and in an attempt to try to forge a relationship I agreed to have her come and do my hair. She had been sending me pictures showing me what she wanted to do. She did a fantastic job but it became shineless and losing it's colour in the first week. I didn't hear from her after that. She dropped communication and when I asked her if she could come rescue my dank hair about 2 months later she said it would cost me £55.

Now I made the decision. I should never expect her to come do it for coffee and cake and it was silly of me to assume. Initially I was cross that I let my principles slide for the want to be accepted and to grow a friendship with my cousin but it turned into deep hurt because I felt that I had been used in someway or at the very least I accepted that she didn't care about me like I had hoped she had.

I think my stubborness/willingness to be free from covering what I am under the guise of enhancing is as much about sticking 2 fingers up at that situation tied in with a recent health scare that I'm still not at the bottom of.

I agree with Pooky in that what is important to one person isn't important to another but you never know what life experience is going to hit that changes your priorities. I never thought I would give up the make up or walk around with greying roots and brassy dead ends but it's a means to an end. I look after myself in more important ways, to me, than enhancing or altering.

Never say never. I never thought I would walk around bare faced. Ever!

jackyann

Oh fuddle, I do think these things happen when you are grieving and off-balance. Also, 'doing hair' is very much a part of female bonding, so especially understandable. Now, as I'm sure you see, the relationship with your cousin, and your hair are 2 separate things!

I went grey quite young, but was lucky enough to inherit the 'gypsy streak' as my (?? 1/4 gypsy) mother called it, and my father's beautiful white hair (he went white at 25, allegedly at the sight of me!). I had 2 bad years: when the white just started to show (25) and looked odd, rather than a streak, and about 30 years later, when the rest looked pepper-and-salt. I have now been white for over a decade.
Over those 30 years a lot of people assumed I did dye my streak, until they got to know me and realised I would never go to that fuss!

I am glad that you look after yourself in 'more important ways'. what a lot of wisdom has come out of this thread!

Wednesday2000

I meant to say that I didn't stop dyeing my hair to save money, just that it must have been a natural consequence.

I used to get people saying that my hair really suited me with blonde highlights or that it really suited me when I had it gothic brown and I just thought one day that why do I care what people think and just let it go back to it's natural colour.:)

Cottage_Economy wrote: »

Quite a difference from my usual greasy skin. After years of trying different things I have now settled on a magic make up cloth + water to clean it and organic jojoba oil.

I think jojoba oil is brilliant too.:A

[Deleted User]

I decided many years ago that if nature intended me to have grey hair then I would go with the flow and let it happen gradually. I've never dyed my hair, back in my youth I tried 'hint of a tint' a couple of times and couldn't see any difference in the finished result so decided to stay 'me' the same with make up, jewellery, etc. I'm definitely a 'Plain Jane' , the plain rather than the pearl and it's a choice that all the 'enhancement' wasn't going to change me into a pearl overnight so I decided not to play. I'm clean, neat and grey and I'm almost 70 so it's highly unlikely that the world will notice what I look like anyway!!!

suki1964

Cottage_Economy wrote: »

I have a dodgy thyroid so my long hair became very poor condition, brittle and very fine. I started going to a salon every 2-3 months to have the worst bits taken off (started with 9 inches off it) and a semi-permanent colour rinse to improve the condition and make it look better. After two years it is looking much improved. I have greys but am not that fussed about them. I'm more concerned with stopping the breaking, which does seem to have stopped now.

My facial skin used to peel off in great lumps and was raw underneath, sometimes bleeding if touched. Quite a difference from my usual greasy skin. After years of trying different things I have now settled on a magic make up cloth + water to clean it and organic jojoba oil. I still have small dry patches but it is 100 times better.

One of the things I'll be doing this week is getting rid of all of the hair and face care bits and pieces I have accumulated over the last couple of years and no longer use. No point keeping them around. They may have even gone off by now. Might even look at replacing some of my ancient make-up. I don't wear a lot - concealer, mascara, blusher and lip gloss - but keeping a mascara hanging around for years is probably not the most hygienic of things to do.

Getting rid of the 'beauty' bits is my next challenge :eek:

Not just getting rid of the old stuff, but also looking at new stuff that can make me feel better in myself. The last time I bothered with make up was two years ago at my daughters wedding, but at the same time I have lots of redness that I'm feeling very self conscious of lately, perhaps a side effect of taking more care of myself as a whole. I also work in very cold ,wet conditions which is playing havoc with my skin and hair. I'm long past the age of wanting to spend more then five minutes a day on a 'beauty regime' plus I know you can't make a silk purse from a pigs ear, but I need to get out of this frump mode I've lived with since I hit 50

So when I pluck up the courage, I'm chucking out all that I have here, and going to start with a clean slate.

I did make a start last week, when I pared my ( over 100 ) nail varnishes down to just 20. Because I work in food prep I can't wear it everyday yet I've hung on to them and added to them regardless

SimpleLiving

Another one here who wont be dyeing my hair. I am 46. At the mo I have very long mid brown hair peppered with grey around the face area. I am ok with it. I expect my sister and mother, who both dye the white/greys, think I'm nuts but heyho. I actually do not care. Each to their own I say. I prefer the natural look.

I simplified my make-up a couple of years ago. I didn't have much to start with but wanted it to fit into a small make up bag. I have a mini set of brushes, 1 eyeshadow palette of 3 colours, 1 eye pencil, 1 pressed powder compact, 1 clear nail varnish, 1 black waterproof mascara and 1 concealer stick. This is the total of my make up and it fits into a small make up bag. No clutter and no make up hanging around growing bacteria!

Cottage_Economy

suki1964 wrote: »

..but I need to get out of this frump mode I've lived with since I hit 50

I so relate to that. Someone estimated my age as early 50s when in fact I was early 40s. I looked in the mirror and I felt grey and half-dead. That's what drove me to sort out the impact of my damaged thyroid on my hair and skin. I had also started withdrawing into myself, not going out and dressing in quite a frumpy way.

I gave up caffeine and sugar a few weeks ago, breaking the 10 cup a day 'white with two' habit I have had for decades to see how it affected my hormones and whether it would help give me a healthy bloom to my skin - I would love to be able to go without make-up. Instead it has affected my menstrual cycle something terrible. Never ever have problems normally but this month is the worst I've ever had and has completely mucked up the timing. No bloom in my cheeks this month!

fuddle

Cottage Economy I don't know if your thyroid issues are down to autoimmunity but The Paleo Mom blog and Autoimmune Paleo way of eating (book by Dr Sarah Ballentyne aka The Paleo Mom) has helped me clean my eating up.

Just thought I'd share, just incase it might help.

Cottage_Economy

fuddle wrote: »

Cottage Economy I don't know if your thyroid issues are down to autoimmunity but The Paleo Mom blog and Autoimmune Paleo way of eating (book by Dr Sarah Brewer aka The Paleo Mom) has helped me clean my eating up.

Just thought I'd share, just incase it might help.

Thank for the recommendations. They are! I have antibodies to my thyroid gland and certain food sensitivities set up an immune reaction that clobbers my thyroid. Mickey Trescott also has some good books on autoimmune paleo.

I could take thyroid meds for it but have persevered instead with finding out what foods aggravate the immune response and cut them out. That has reduced my antibody load from thousands to a few hundred, and given me back my life.

If I exhaust all possible food-related avenues, I will look at medication but as it will be a lifetime thing I want to do everything possible to tackle it naturally before I resort to that. Simple homemade foods from just a few ingredients are the basis of 95% of my diet.

[Deleted User]

Another one going grey too.

Although I supposed this is cheating for me a little. I am so pale, blonde anyway that there is not much difference between my old hair colour and the new one. Also, my hair has not gone grey it has gone pure white!