A Simpler Life 2018

SimpleLiving

Primrose wrote: »

I think a motto for us all to adopt in 2018 is

“DO I HAVE ENOUGH?”

GreyQueen wrote: »

I can relate to YORKSHIRELASS's post above. I have struggled with low confidence (still do, occasionally, although age is smoothing most of that out) and thought if I had the right gear I would be one of the cool, popular kids.

Popularity doesn't seem to work like that, does it?! After a while, you twig that a certain outfit or a certain accessory doesn't buy you acceptance. And, even if it did, all it would be buying you is the acceptance of shallow, silly people and who, to be brutally frank, wants to be the darling of a bunch of nitwits?:rotfl:

Really cool people could walk into a formal event full of evening dresses and suits and make fifty well-dressed strangers feel excruciatingly embarrassed that they were not in jeans and a tee like The Cool One. To be so cool as to be positively Siberian.

I'm not the slightest bit cool and, if I have been fashionable, it was probably an accidental event lasting a nano-second and no one noticed, not even me.

Best to just get on with one's own life. As a wiser person that me once remarked; It's none of our business what other people think of us.

Prinzessilein wrote: »

Oh wow! Do I ever 'get' the striving for popularity thing!....

I was always 'different'...disability meant that when I was at school I was excused PE/Game which really puts the kibosh on hopes of 'fitting in'!...so I tried other ways of finding 'my place', I tried fashion - well when you are a good 6 inches shorter than average, and dumpy at best, then you are never going to be able to wear the 'right' clothes - I did try a pair of platform shoes, but couldn't balance in them, cue more ribald laughter as I fell ....well fine, I'll join with the swots! Some subjects at school were easy enough- German (hey it's my second language any way!), Maths (numbers make sense to me in a way that people just don't!) - unfortunately there were things like History and Geography that I managed to scrape a pass in, but would never excel in, and some science was excused too due to disability (no practical chemistry for example), sadly I was not smart enough to be a swot!...there were the 'bad' girls, but I lived in too much righteous fear of my Mum to consider approaching them!

But I found my 'own' path through school...I excelled in my own subjects and scraped by in others...I found a safe haven in the library...I joined upon occasion with the group of other 'losers' and we would sit together at lunchtime making our fruitless plans to somehow get 'accepted' in a 'real' group. (And once in a while someone would succeed...something unexplainable would happen, and one day they didn't come and sit with us, but totally ignored our group as they made their way into a new circle.)

Adult life hasn't really been that much different!...I still don't fit any established norms...but I am my own unique person!

With the 'simple life'...I have never read Kon-Mari!....I am unable to do gardening/allotmenting...I live in tiny flat, so exciting storage is no option (no wardrobe...on large hall cupboard, and a cupboard in the kitchen just big enough for my mop and vacuum)...BUT, I can cook from scratch (some days)..I can knit and embroider...I can make one penny do the work of two...I am happy with no pay-per-view, love to sit and read.

Yes, sometimes a thread like this can be intimidating...but unlike school, people here are welcoming to the outsider!

Excellent and thought provoking post. I was hideously shy at school but was able to retreat into the swot camp.

Emmala

SimpleLiving wrote: »

Excellent and thought provoking post. I was hideously shy at school but was able to retreat into the swot camp.

Definitely thought provoking posts. I got through school ok but was badly bullied at times within my friendship group. Had something similar this year with my ‘mum friends’ and sadly realised that for whatever reason I’m not actually one of them, part of the group to a point, but not really one of them. It’s been quite an eye opener, especially for DH who doesn’t really understand why certain things have upset me so much. Hard to walk away completely as two of my kids have best friends among the group’s children, and DH is friends with most of the husbands, but I’ve distanced myself as much as I can, I’d rather have no friends than false ones.

RicardaRacoon

Hello everyone

Prinzessilein, your experience at school - minus dissability - sounded a lot like mine. I was ok till I was eleven or so, but from then on I was always in the loser-group. I am much more confident nowdays but I am still astonished in a way that people actually want to be my friends and want to spend time with me... Being bullied as a child sits deep.

LameWolf, your ex sounds positively medival! Maybe he wanted you to be sober enough to drive home so that he could drink as much as he pleased....

Yorkshirelass, I am also not the best when it comes to Simple Living, others in here do so much more. But I guess we all start at a different point and aim for a different goal, but the way will be the same.
I can understand your stuggle with wanting to have the right things for your kids sake. I am not sure how I would deal with this situation (I don't have kids, so it isn't a problem that I will have to solve anytime soon) A part of me is against the whole Keeping up with the Joneses thing, while another part of me remembers how it felt as a child to not have a TV or fancy holidays abroad because my parents thought we didn't needed these. I do agree with it now, but I didn't when I was a child...

I had quite an interessting realisation yesterday on my walk. I have a problem with not doing anything and then end up doing things that aren't really counting as "doing anything". For example I always set my alarm to eight on a Saturday, no matter what time I go to bed because I don't want to sleep all morning. But I have no problem snoozing and watching youtube videos till eleven or so because somehow that does feel like doing something... Though it isn't really...
So I will now try something new. Unless I am out I will go to bed at ten on Friday and Saturday and set my alarm to seven. And then going up without snoozing. Like that I will hopefully have a better start into the day and don't end up pottering about for hours. And in case I am tired in the afternoon I might as well take a nap and get some extra sleep, instead of hanging around doing useless stuff...

So today I got up at seven and was actually quite productive till I left for knitting group at quarter past nine. Decided to walk to the station in the next town, which is a 30 minute walk (instead of 10 minutes to our own station) and then back home from there too. While at knitting group I knitted a whole wrist warmer. WHen I came home and had lunch I even finally managed to write to Gods Wonderful Railway because of a refund for a train ticket...
I will now spend the rest of the afternoon knitting the second wrist warmer - present for my coworker - and cutting cookies so that I can make the best use of the oven, baking lasagne and two sets of cookies tonight.

Have a lovely Sunday everyone!

Wednesday2000

maryb wrote: »

I've just remembered, someone started a thread about a year ago, Not Buying Any Clothes 2017. It fizzled out after a while because if you stick to it, there's not a lot to post about!

I did that a few years ago on another forum and it did work for me.

I have been influenced too much by the charity shop thread on here and have bought quite a few "new" items over the past few months.

I have a pretty gift crate box for Christmas that I put next to the tree and I thought I could use it to store my handbags instead. I just went upstairs and put all my bags together in the crate and then into in the wardrobe.

I only have 6 bags:

1 black messenger bag,
1 small black rucksack,
1 velvety brown handbag,
1 small black and red handbag,
1 small grey across the body bag,
1 small white across the body bag.

I actually want to buy one bigger black handbag and then that is all I need for 2018. I'm hoping to find one at the £1 charity shop I frequent before the end of 2017 so then I know I have all I need for next year.

I can't remember the last time I used the red and black bag, probably about 5 years ago!!! It's in perfect condition so now it's somewhere obvious I am more likely to use it.

GreyQueen

YORKSHIRELASS wrote: »

GQ the trouble is it never ends because you are constantly searching for the right things, ditching the old things that didnt make you Mrs Popular and looking for something else. Social media is the devil for perpetuating this idea of perfect lives.

I took up a new sport last year and joined a club hoping to make friends. Everyone has the right (expensive) kit and it takes some bravery to turn up in the "wrong" gear. It shouldnt matter should it? I am working on being my own person but have got a way to go.

I give hourly thanks that I reached adulthood long before social media even existed, gawd knows how miserable the kids at school could have made me it they'd had that to use as well. I feel desperately sad when I read of some youngster taking their own life as a result of online bullying, the physical stuff was hard enough to contend with in the 1970s.

Such as the issues that I faced at middle school; do I walk to and fro school in plimsols, so I can run if attacked, or do I wear my proper shoes so I can land a few painful kicks when the pack of 15-20 odd girls corner me? Even to this day (in my fifties) I get a wee bit stressed when I see teen girls together in rowdy groups.

I suffered from being clever (but not clever enough to hide it from my peers, sadly), and from being a head taller than everyone else and having bright red hair and then glasses - all heinous sins against popularity, dontcha know.

I can still recall cringe-maing moment such as 14 y.o. me hovering on the edge of a small group of girls in my class, hoping to be included in the chat, and having the little beyatches cinch up the circle so they were standing shoulder-to-shoulder with a wall of backs presented to me; message received and understood - not one of us.

I take great comfort in that, no matter what life throws at me, I will never ever have to been a teenager again.:rotfl:

LameWolf

Prinzessilein wrote: »

Yes, sometimes a thread like this can be intimidating...but unlike school, people here are welcoming to the outsider!

I couldn't agree more. :T

I have found throughout life that it is simply not possible for me to make RL friends; I have acquaintances who are friendly enough towards me, but no-one I could, f'r instance, call on in a crisis, or turn to for comfort in the event of a terrible life event.
I guess, if you dislike yourself as intensely as I do, it's impossible to think that anyone else could possibly like you.

So being able to "hide" behind a screen name and "speak" with people who seem to have similar ways of dealing with life is good (if I'm making any sense here).

We have about four inches of snow on the ground here; it arrived overnight. So in a way it's as well I don't have a dog to walk today, as I can't use the mobility scooter in the snow.
Ronnie the JRT is due to arrive next Saturday, but if we still have snow, or get any more during the 20 days he's here, Mr LW has said he'll walk him. :A He's not difficult; a little trundle along the Redways twice a day, and access to the garden if he needs a wee in between, and he's happy.

Right' I'm off to the kitchen to make an apple crumble; Mr LW will peel and slice the apple (me + knives = an accident waiting to happen) while I concoct the crumble topping.

lessonlearned

Oh dear ...so many sad stories, about sad childhoods and the resulting lack of confidence and lack of self esteem. Reminds me of the old Philip Larkin poem......

LP Hartley wrote (in the Go Between). “The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there”. I don’t make a habit of revisiting my past and certainly not my bleak childhood, but when I do, then, rather than letting it be a burden to me, I make sure I learn from it. (After all my nom de plume is LessonLearned:D)

My husband And I both had less than idyllic childhoods. We resolved we would learn from our parents mistakes, we would break the cycle of indifferent parenting and sad unhappy childhoods. So we did.

I think the best anyone can do with a legacy of a bad childhood and its repercussions is to learn from the past and resolve not to let History repeat itself. We can’t rewrite our pasts but we can leave them behind us where they belong. We can learn to live in the present and look forward with hope and optimism to a happy future.

Adopting a “simple life” helped me lay some of those childhood ghosts to rest. Living simply enables me to live “in the present” to be mindful of the many gifts and blessings that I have had bestowed upon me. Living simply gives me the time, energy and money to ensure a safe and happy future.

Don’t feel overwhelmed or intimidated by how “successfully” some people have managed to streamline their lives. Living simply is not a competition, there is no right or wrong way, no one is going to “fail” you. There is no need to measure yourself against others, no need to beat yourself up for not being as “successful” as others. And no, It really doesn’t matter what other people think about you, its their business what they think, not yours.

No one can be “little miss popular” all the time. And realistically who want that.....such a tiresome burden. None of us is perfect. Good enough is just that......”good enough”.:D

maryb

Sometimes I used to reflect sadly that I hadn't been blessed with charm and charisma. Then one day it was as if I heard a voice in my head saying 'well, you haven't been cursed with it either' Instant change in perspective

YORKSHIRELASS

LW I consider you a friend - and feel that I actually know you - even though I havent a clue what you look like! You and I are so alike, I have no RL friends either, I shy away from people for any number of very complicated reasons.

OK that's a little off topic but I have been trying to work out what simplifying life means to me and I think for me its about having and doing things that bring value to my life and make me happier. This forum for example. Its not just about saving money and its definitely not about buying things or doing things to conform to other peoples ideals.

Hope that's not too deep for a Sunday night!

amber03

After a very hectic weekend including Xmas trees ,GD sleepover, furniture delivery , A simple life 2018 cannot come quick enough for me.xx