Co-habiting couples warned of "common law marriage" myth

ViolaLass

svain wrote: »

Shirt & tie

Make you bleed?!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/waitress-forced-to-wear-high-heels-at-work-shares-photo-of-her-bleeding-feet-a7025466.html

Comms69, many women choose to wear high heels, yes. They can opt, on a Friday night, to sit down or to take the shoes off. They're not working an 8 hour shift and they don't have to do it every day.

Indeed, no one has to work there, except the people who really need a job and maybe can't find anything else just then. Would you really advocate them signing on instead?

I've shown you inequality but I don't think you want to see it.

Here's another one https://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/feb/18/male-suicides-three-times-women-samaritans-bristol

Women are encouraged to talk about their feelings, men are told to bottle it up. Men 'don't cry'. The inequality hurts all, not just women.

svain

ViolaLass wrote: »

Make you bleed?!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/waitress-forced-to-wear-high-heels-at-work-shares-photo-of-her-bleeding-feet-a7025466.html

Comms69, many women choose to wear high heels, yes. They can opt, on a Friday night, to sit down or to take the shoes off. They're not working an 8 hour shift and they don't have to do it every day.

Indeed, no one has to work there, except the people who really need a job and maybe can't find anything else just then. Would you really advocate them signing on instead?

I've shown you inequality but I don't think you want to see it.

Here's another one https://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/feb/18/male-suicides-three-times-women-samaritans-bristol

Women are encouraged to talk about their feelings, men are told to bottle it up. Men 'don't cry'. The inequality hurts all, not just women.

Its as relevant though and highlights that men can also suffer from equality

Malthusian

Izadora wrote: »

I've tried being direct and telling people it's none of their business, they cop the hump and tell ME that I'M being rude...

I've tried "When we're ready" and been lectured on how I'm "not getting any younger" and really should think about it sooner rather than later.

I've told people that we've been trying and it's just not happening and then have to deal with the pity-face "so, any luck?" follow-up questions and lectures about how I should/shouldn't be eating this, doing that etc.

Why do you feel the need to keep the company of complete nobends?

Comms69

ViolaLass wrote: »

Make you bleed?!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/waitress-forced-to-wear-high-heels-at-work-shares-photo-of-her-bleeding-feet-a7025466.html

Comms69, many women choose to wear high heels, yes. They can opt, on a Friday night, to sit down or to take the shoes off. They're not working an 8 hour shift and they don't have to do it every day. - So the issue is the length of time? I'm being sincere, I don't know, so I'm trying to learn something.

Indeed, no one has to work there, except the people who really need a job and maybe can't find anything else just then. Would you really advocate them signing on instead? - Not signing on, no. But it seems if something is that bad, then you wouldn't stay long. And walking out en masse would certainly make it difficult for the employers.

I've shown you inequality but I don't think you want to see it. - Well no, clearly no-one wants to see inequality. That's the whole point isn't it. I'm simply looking at it from a different position.

Here's another one https://www.theguardian.com/society/2014/feb/18/male-suicides-three-times-women-samaritans-bristol

Women are encouraged to talk about their feelings, men are told to bottle it up. Men 'don't cry'. The inequality hurts all, not just women.

I never claimed it didn't exist, I said show me and I'll support you.


I agree. Male suicide is a real problem.


Whilst mental health services are available equality to both men and women. Some of the aggravating factors, especially around domestic abuse are certainly unequal. The reason I see that as an inequality is that the state deliberately splits funding based upon gender.


Whilst an employer is an authority of sorts, and I do concede that the issue with heels is a problem - it's one that is solvable fairly quickly, certainly with minimal actual injury.


The state is the ultimate authority. So yes 33% (upto 40% according to some studies) of victims of domestic violence and abuse are men, yet only 1 in 100 beds in shelters cater to men. That is state sponsored inequality, which I would say is a problem caused by 'society' ie the general populous, proxying in the govt.

LavenderBee

maman wrote: »

While I am willing to believe that some people are asked when they're going to have children relentlessly surely nobody would actually go ahead and have a child for that reason??? That's absolute madness.:eek:

Actually my parents did, I am the product of that. I have been told the error of their ways and that it ruined their lives, and told me I must not be pressured into having children myself.

Boy are they going to be p***** when they find out I'm preggers :rotfl: (of my own choosing, within marriage and planned for financially)

Oh, and yes I've also been asked by other women "are you not having children then?" (when you are having conception issues, nice... :think:)

buglawton

A myth so far, but this could be the start of some myth-confirming court judgements:
https://www.theguardian.com/law/2017/nov/28/unmarried-woman-wins-legal-battle-over-bereavement-damages

Red-Squirrel_2

maman wrote: »

While I am willing to believe that some people are asked when they're going to have children relentlessly surely nobody would actually go ahead and have a child for that reason??? That's absolute madness.:eek:

I think a lot of people just always assume they will have children because that is the done and expected thing, and so they do without ever really considering that there is an alternative.

ViolaLass

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I think a lot of people just always assume they will have children because that is the done and expected thing, and so they do without ever really considering that there is an alternative.

Exactly. If instead of love, marriage and babies, the stories children got told talked about running a marathon to prove you're an adult, the numbers attempting marathons would sky-rocket.

onomatopoeia99

Gavin83 wrote: »

I'm male and I've been asked a tonne of times when I'm having kids so it's not exclusively a female issue.

We must move in really differnt circles then. My friends are mostly engineers, scientists, programmers, that sort of thing (there's a university professor and a doctor amongst them as well, to get the public sector quotient up). Colleagues are all programmers like me.

"When are you going to have children?" is a question that literally never gets asked, by women or men. Who asks it?

svain

i have couple of step-kids from my late wife. I was asked back in the day whether we were planning to have more kids in the future .... but never in my life (im mid-40's) been asked "when" am i having children ..... I mix with all sorts of people socially and thru work and have never heard that question asked in that way.