Co-habiting couples warned of "common law marriage" myth

Tabbytabitha

Pixie5740 wrote: »

You have a lovely, romantic view of marriage but statistically 42% of marriages in the UK end in divorce. Those are pretty high odds.

Comms69 wrote: »

Except ofcourse it doesn't work that way.


Every married couple will have numerous failed relationships behind them.


Given marriage is 'supposed' to be for life, it's slightly different....

They'll probably have numerous failed relationships behind them but those relationships won't necessarily be comparable to marriages.

ViolaLass

Comms69 wrote: »

.... Don't have a baby and expect nothing to change?

I'm glad you live in a world where there is no gender inequality and no pressure from society to conform to gender stereotypes. I wish we could all live there too.

Comms69

ViolaLass wrote: »

I'm glad you live in a world where there is no gender inequality and no pressure from society to conform to gender stereotypes. I wish we could all live there too.

If you can show me inequality, I will fight it along side you.


But no, there is not pressure from 'society' to conform to stereotypes. YOU are responsible for your actions, like I am for mine. If you choose to 'go with the flock' that is your choice, no-one has a gun to your head, no-one is taking away your freedom if you don't (atleast not in this country!)


If you want a baby, don't expect everyone else to work around you. That's your choice. If you have it with the wrong person, that isn't my fault. If you decide to give up work, or prioritise your family, don't expect your employer to support your personal choices.


I don't think there's anything radical about teaching responsibility.

robpw2

Comms69 wrote: »

If you can show me inequality, I will fight it along side you.


But no, there is not pressure from 'society' to conform to stereotypes. YOU are responsible for your actions, like I am for mine. If you choose to 'go with the flock' that is your choice, no-one has a gun to your head, no-one is taking away your freedom if you don't (atleast not in this country!)


If you want a baby, don't expect everyone else to work around you. That's your choice. If you have it with the wrong person, that isn't my fault. If you decide to give up work, or prioritise your family, don't expect your employer to support your personal choices.


I don't think there's anything radical about teaching responsibility.

there is a lot of pressure on women to have babies - i hear my female friends get asked so often when they are going to have kids and then why they dont want them if they say they dont.. i have also heard people tell them they are selfish for not wanting kids too.

Comms69

robpw2 wrote: »

there is a lot of pressure on women to have babies - i hear my female friends get asked so often when they are going to have kids and then why they dont want them if they say they dont.. i have also heard people tell them they are selfish for not wanting kids too.

If someone asks that, can you/they not respond with - "none of your business", "When I'm ready", "never" ?


I don't think I could consider a few rude people to be representative of society.


Having a child because someone else (whether a stranger or a family member) expects you to, is probably the worst reason to have a child.

Izadora

Comms69 wrote: »

If you can show me inequality, I will fight it along side you.

Equal pay day... https://www.fawcettsociety.org.uk/equal-pay-day

Comms69 wrote: »

I don't think I could consider a few rude people to be representative of society.

It's not just a few people though. It's something that I have been asked so, so many times by so many different people over the past few years and there really is no easy way to respond.

I've tried being direct and telling people it's none of their business, they cop the hump and tell ME that I'M being rude...

I've tried "When we're ready" and been lectured on how I'm "not getting any younger" and really should think about it sooner rather than later.

I've told people that we've been trying and it's just not happening and then have to deal with the pity-face "so, any luck?" follow-up questions and lectures about how I should/shouldn't be eating this, doing that etc.

It is constant and relentless and there is absolutely nothing that I've found which will make people stop.

Beans27

Comms69 wrote: »

If someone asks that, can you/they not respond with - "none of your business", "When I'm ready", "never" ?

I've always wondered who these people are who get asked these personal questions, maybe I am oblivious to it! I'd really enjoy telling someone none of your business but sadly it never happens - I spent the whole time I was breast feeding hoping someone would say something when I was in public so I could have an argument with them.....nope, never happened, nobody cared

Comms69

Izadora wrote: »

Equal pay day... https://www.fawcettsociety.org.uk/equal-pay-day

- I think there's a lot of debate regarding the pay gap. From my understanding the pay gap doesn't account for many choices that women make, including choice of careers, overtime, asking for increased wages.

It's not just a few people though. It's something that I have been asked so, so many times by so many different people over the past few years and there really is no easy way to respond. - I'm not sure I agree, I think there's loads of answers you can give. e.g. "when I'm ready"

I've tried being direct and telling people it's none of their business, they cop the hump and tell ME that I'M being rude... - call them out. "No you're being rude, I'm not asking you when you're getting divorced am I?!"

I've tried "When we're ready" and been lectured on how I'm "not getting any younger" and really should think about it sooner rather than later. - "If I want your advice, I'll ask for it"

I've told people that we've been trying and it's just not happening and then have to deal with the pity-face "so, any luck?" follow-up questions and lectures about how I should/shouldn't be eating this, doing that etc. - "It's a personal matter, I'd rather not discuss with my you"

It is constant and relentless and there is absolutely nothing that I've found which will make people stop.

I get what you're saying, I'm sure many as being well meaning. I just don't think society as a whole is doing that.

Red-Squirrel_2

Comms69 wrote: »

.... Don't have a baby and expect nothing to change?

If you're the mother.

Red-Squirrel_2

Comms69 wrote: »

If you can show me inequality, I will fight it along side you.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: