Money Moral Dilemma: Should I buy my friend a wedding gift?

Topaz28

The bride is being massively cheeky, if she insists you wear a specific style of dress, shoes and hair then she should pay for it. Since you’re already saving her £100+ by paying for these things yourself then you shouldn’t be expected to buy a present but as she has unreasonable expectations she would probably be upset if you didn’t. I think you should speak now or forever hold your peace: have a calm conversation with her before the wedding and explain that expenses have got out of hand and bridesmaids aren’t normally expected to pay for these sort of things or say nothing and at least get her a small, cheap token gift. Saying nothing and letting the lack of present make a statement will probably cause tension even though that’s not your intention and then everything you’ve put up with to keep the peace would’ve been for nothing anyway.

relentlass

Sister in law has refused to speak to us for over 2 years, since we only gave £200 and a hand made card to her daughter and son in law as a wedding gift.

robpw2

i spent less than one person is spending alone on dress alterations hen party and shoes etc on my entire wedding ... so i dont know a present is kind of expected but be reasonable a small gift is just as nice as an expensive one

Fireflyaway

I'd buy a gift. As a bridesmaid and friend I think you should, but a cheap one! A nice photo frame / glasses etc can be cheap but still look nice.
I think the bride is out of order to expect you to buy shows and pay for hair and make up.

Turtle

relentlass wrote: »

Sister in law has refused to speak to us for over 2 years, since we only gave £200 and a hand made card to her daughter and son in law as a wedding gift.

'Only' £200?! That's a lot of money. Doesn't sound much of a loss to me.

Tropically

I am getting married and paying for accommodation, food and drink for 50 guests for three days.

In our FAQ on our website we have:

Is there a gifts registry?
We really don't need gifts! We have lived together for a while and have all we need, and we recognise that all you have had to travel really far. Gifts are not required or expected, and we would so much rather have you attend than gifts.

We really don't want gifts. Reading some of the behaviour posted in this thread has made me super-cringe and feel yucky. NO ONE EVER NEEDS TO GET OTHER PEOPLE GIFTS.