“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

milann

My kids are grown now and when they were small we had our tough times - dds hubby is from a totally different background - money a plenty but they were shoved to boarding schools and had nannies on their foreign holidays. Dd remembers all the baking and crafts we did and holidays (paid for from the Family Fund - but she didn’t realise that) her dh is envious of her childhood :eek::eek: Just shows it’s not the cash thrown at them but the time spent with them. Hang on in there.

I hope you get the school problems sorted

teafor2

So basically from the family point of view, you'd just like to do some more fun things together Do you think your budget would stretch to planning a special day out even just once a month to start with.

I'm not trivialising other things that are going on at the moment but maybe some of the other worries wouldn't seem so bad if you all had something to look forward to. xx

teafor2

Absolutely agree with what Milann has said. We did lots of stuff like baking and crafts as well, but even our 'going out' activities weren't that expensive. Bowling, cinema, parks - all usually with a voucher Mine are only teenagers but they still go down memory lane about stuff we did that seemed pretty run of the mill to me, but what I've realised is it's the effort that's put in and the atmosphere you create for them that sticks in their minds. xx

WannabeFree

Thank you Milann and Tea

It isn't really money related or the lack of I'm really grateful for where we are at with that.

Tea there's no money in the budget for days out etc there just isn't enough . Once the debt is gone some will go to the fun. stuff. There never has been a pot for fun stuff definitely the first thing I'll change once the debts paid and it will make some things easier in the sense of being able to pay for bus fare/a cheap entry etc and give us choices it doesn't make up for health. I can't help looking back 8/9 months ago when we could do 'something' most days be that baking or a walk or something and we are lucky if that can be once a week now. Where will we be in another 7 months when the debts gone? Or another 8 months when we are due to go on holiday?

I realise it probably really doesnt make much sense all this but I just don't know how to put into words what I mean

Cherryfudge

Sending massive hugs Wannabe. I'm guessing your concerns are about youngest's health: she has had tough times and that's how the trend seems to be. However, some of the best memories, and the things that get remembered, are the things we can't quantify: Mum being around when needed, cosy times doing things together, even the things you've baked. (My sister and I had good memories when looking through Mum's recipes - we reminisced about various things and each had different memories). Your children will always have the security of knowing they are loved and supported - that's something that gets passed down generations because their default will be to be the sort of parent that you are. That's what they're learning from you. So you are spreading happiness potentially a long way in the future.
Aside from all the things only you know about, I think you've been taking the strain for a long time and you're very short of sleep. Those two alone are bound to make things much harder, and being home again is the time I'd expect a slump, and in your case it's a really tough one.
When you're the one experiencing these feelings, it's as if there's nothing but this. I remember being unable to imagine anything but the blackness of what I was feeling - but the light came back, because it's still there and you'll see it again.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow x

WannabeFree

Thank you Cherry xx

Youngest is feeling poorly hoping we manage till the GP opens then we can go there first to be checked. Means more taxi fares but hopefully something they can help with rather than sit up on the kids ward. Really it never ends.

x

MatyMoo

You do sound very down at the moment, I hope you get some help from today’s appointment.

I’m hoping the new debt it interest free? Glad it has got the threat of bailiffs away though.

You make so many memories with your children daily just by being there and doing baking & crafting with them and I know this is what they will remember as they grow up. Having money to spend on outings is a bonus and you will get there - you have come so far already.

earthgirl

Sorry to hear the youngest isn't well again. You are a brilliant mum! Keep going, with more sleep and less to worry about you'll feel much better soon, hang in there x

Eager_Elephant

I know its tough WF but you are doing an amazing job as a parent.

Just wanted to mention the whole memories from childhood thing, my kids are now 22 and 16. Growing up we only went abroad once and that was our honeymoon and only DS was born then, we did a yearly holiday to Haven caravan park and also visited most zoos across the country staying in Travelodges, we've done theme parks etc but do you know what my kids remember fondly the most (and still want to do as much as possible when DS is back from Uni) its Sunday board game afternoon....
Yup us all playing board games together is what they remember, the cost of which was minimal as board games were always Xmas presents.

Sometimes I'm too busy to do it when DS comes back but I am going to make an effort when he comes back for 1 month at Easter to play board games with them as we all have such a laugh.

WannabeFree

Morning

Thank you for all stopping in

Like I said I didn't know how to put in words what I mean. It isn't money related (so probably shouldn't be posted here) yes I am worried about the debt. Yes it does make things harder but this isn't why I feel so lost.

We won't ever be going abroad. We probably won't ever venture more than an hour away from here tbh. It isn't about wanting to take them on amazing holidays etc. Even when we've been on our caravan holiday we've stuck to the same budget as we have at home. We've been away for weeks and not spent a single penny over our normal grocery shop.

There's so much we use to so to create happy memories we can no longer do together already. I'm scared about the future and what it's going to bring. I know no one knows what the future brings but half knowing certain things just makes it a whole load scarier. I feel like we have such a short time to fit in what most plan for their whole life time. I feel I have such a huge responsibility to make sure certain things are achieved and seen before it's too late to see it as it should be. I could go on but like I say it isn't really for here. But if I posted nothing about it Id just be lying pretending everything is good when it's not. Far from it.

I do appreciate everything you've all said and thank you

x