Elite 11+ shopping and chat thread part 2½

Savvybuyer

davemorton wrote: »

I probably would not even daredo three. I need to go tomorrow for the icing, as it runs out tomorrow, but might have to plan another visit on Wednesday for wine and more crisps (as they run out on Wednesday) but then again, I dont really need much wine at the moment.

I have my last APG voucher to use by Wednesday. I have two milk shops left (for A's expensive milk:mad:) before we start paying for everything. If we don't run out of milk before then, and need to use the second voucher before Wednesday, I may find some unexpected Hallowe'en items on clearout on Hallowe'en itself. Otherwise it's revert to planned shop (my store never has anything:() - milk and a few bits on the last shop. I think Farmfoods are working out technically cheaper on milk for more people, although they are not as cheap as they have been in the past. I suppose nowhere is as cheap as it has been in the past as inflation has eaten away at money since it was invented. I know nowhere that has milk as cheap as it was 20 years ago:rotfl:. And of course 20 years ago it was expensive compared to 40 years ago. But I mean the still fairly recent offer was 2 for £1.50 - last time I saw (a week or two ago) it was 2 for £1.60! It may be that, for people in a few 'lucky' areas, T's Jacks may be cheapest on milk unless that was just an opening offer to get people to switch store and then put the price up!

Savvybuyer

davemorton wrote: »

Are you not starting your car?

No:p. Even I miss things out - I wasn't trying to do literally every step, including breathing. That was just a quick example, typed out very quickly without needing to spend time thinking about everything to see if I'd missed anything out and I wasn't supposed to be literally complete.

So, there is the explanation as to why even an autist can be incomplete.

On very very very rare occasions indeed:p:rotfl::D;).
Thank you for pointing this out to me though:T - I must learn to look at it in far more detail:eek::eek: than I currently do next time.

:rotfl:

Nah, I'm already pedantic enough:cool::D.

EDIT: I can get away - try to escape on a technicality though. Because I did mention my instructions were incomplete as they didn't include taking the chicken legs out of the packet. So it was therefore already pointed out that they were incomplete and I am right again:D. Even if only fortuitously:rotfl:.

EDIT 2 (where was the number 1?): Actually we need people like me to find the technicality sometimes though - might be of great use (if only I could find it).

Savvybuyer

I have escaped on technicalities occasionally through my life though. Tell you a couple of honest stories. Once, way way back, I got so getting other people to do what they should, that they started looking at things I hadn't done. The thing was I nearly had messed up on something though, so they were nearly right:eek:. They got so bogged down into the detail though, that they got exhausted and fed up with trying to continue with it any further and so I escaped without sanction. That's the 'problem' with most people - not persistent and determined enough:T. And incomplete:rotfl:. And I have learnt my mistake - lest I be caught on anything more serious in the future - and I'm not as 'bad' as that anymore.:silenced:

The other time I did something but as usual went about it in the wrong way (actually it's not that usual as this may make it seem - it's not as frequent as I might be suggesting here). Fortunately one of my close relatives died a few days afterwards so they didn't proceed against me the way they were going to. Obviously, I mean to say it was not fortunate at all, as I lost someone close to me and life is hard but it just shows how intervening events can change things and how people were compassionate with me there. As, no doubt, they would be to anyone. As I have no clue as to people's motives:o, I have no idea whether the fact the person was terminally ill - and therefore the other person may have thought that was a reason I may not have been thinking straight when I approached things in the wrong way - was anything they had thought about or whether it was just that they thought it too harsh to continue to press their argument against me when I had just lost someone. (In fact, I only thought about the latter at the time - I have only thought about the alternative possibility, or additional reason they might have had, for the first time literally now.) Given the choice, obviously I would rather have my relative still here and for me to have done things differently as well. But - if I hadn't? I would probably have just ended up doing more work than I did.

I think bereavement can definitely be taken more rationally by people like myself. It's not that we don't grieve the loss - we do - but more that I think people generally might lose something even more than me - social connection - I actually loved the person I lost, got on with them, they were a very good person, didn't hate their guts and want them dead (when would I ever want that of any of my relatives anyway? - I would not). I did cry over losing them - in fact broke down uncontrollably at one stage in the period while they were dying. I did lose them. It was different to losing one of my other relatives much earlier in life though - I was a child, didn't understand as much and just cried when they were gone for a while. They were afraid I would upset them, so kept me away from the hospital and didn't let me see them again. (I don't keep revisiting this though - it's past history and long gone.) I opened up a photo album several decades later about them and it brought tears to my eyes - in fact a little more than that - not because of that primarily but just the fact they weren't here.

When you get older, eventually you lose so many people that your perspective is changed. Bad things come in twos and threes - and sometimes in fours, fives, sixes, sevens and eights. As regards the later relative I lost, people generally remarked on how well I had coped with it and others of my relatives told me how helpful I was in helping them see it more rationally and helping them to cope better with their loss. I don't think about the person I have lost every day - I know some people say they do - but in fact I rarely ever think about them at all. This absolutely doesn't mean that I don't have any love for them - it's just that you get on with your life and whatever chages it has made and how you now cope.

I think my obstinacy helped me a lot. I deliberately ignored what it said in a bereavement leaflet I was handed soon after the death - I took issue with whether it was true:rotfl:. I just had this internal thought, again, about "can you show me that what you claim is true actually is?" They suggested bereavement lasted a lot time. I decided that I did not. I decided it was not going to last any time at all for me and was fine the day after. I got better ever since - obviously there was the funeral and, until that is gone, I didn't really get over it but, once that's out of the way - on with your life! I did all my grieving when I was visiting them in the hospital. Others of my family experienced different things at different times to me and, through me having gone through exactly what they were now going through but me having done it a few days earlier, I was then able to help then - told them "I felt that the other day, but look I have got over it and it will be the same for you as well - think positive! Any more you need to talk with me, please do." I also needed other people myself to speak to, as and when I felt the need. I was supported by people at work (a set of people with whom I dealt most often) whilst my relatives (those that I saw often) were supported by me. Hmm... it does come back to your thoughts... of course setting all this off has made me think of my deceased relative again, now lost over a decade ago. So these things do go in cycles but not frequently.

I'm just a very thoughtful person (in the sense of thinking deeply). Interesting in a way what life offers.:A (And I have thought about everyone that has lost someone whilst writing this too.)

On social connection, I think I am actually socially connected to other people, but not in the same way as most people are.

Btw, I'm open to other people's problems on here if they (that means you) need any help. I just deal in the way I always deal, trying to be helpful and wishing to avoid upsetting anyone. When other people are upset in RL though, I normally just scarper. This is not because I am not wanting to be help - I just fear anything I may say might risk upsetting them further so let the people qualified to talk to them and know how to deal with the situation (in other words everyone else) deal with this. Again - I know it's all impressions, I am aware that people might think by disappearing, I am unconcerned (almost everything thought about Asperger's people like this is the opposite of the case) but it's simply that I don't want to risk inflaming by saying the wrong thing (even though my saying nothing and going away says the wrong thing - but what can I do?) but people around me know why so - at least I trust - they are fine. I am good at dealing with things on paper (or on screen). Well - even there I have said the wrong thing in the past:rotfl:. Not on this thread, but the penny drops years later after your Asperger's is diagnosed. That's why I approached that person and asked them something when I should have kept quiet. It wasn't intended. They replied telling me off entirely unexpectedly. I just replied apologising and saying I wouldn't contact them again (and I then never did). So, lost out of my life due to a misunderstanding. Anyway, I don't know why I'm telling you all my personal business:rotfl::rotfl:. However - at least you know, if I say anything that seems out of line, it is not intended and we can all laugh at it:cool:. So, approach me (PM me) at your risk(:rotfl::rotfl:) - I don't mean that - or if you need or want it perhaps from another perspective. (Could be the solution you've not yet found:). Could be - notice the word - my 'get-out clause' again:D - no I don't mean that:rotfl::rotfl: - I hope whatever I say is of help.

(The reason of course that I have said "could" is that I cannot promise that it will be, so, as I can't promise that, I therefore don't do so. Instead you get a realistic thing of what I may be able to do (we're noting the word "may":rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:) and no-one is then let down. If it seems prevaricating or not being specific, it's not that way - I just try to be friendly and helpful and not technical about things - people say I'm alright when they get to know me, whether or not they are telling me the truth there:rotfl::rotfl: That's probably now put me in a bad light that wasn't there -the truth is I am alright and am helpful - it was simply a point about other people and that I don't always know if they are telling the truth or not about things more generally - but I suppose not always knowing that isn't a problem that only I have. You certainly get real deal from me and know trust in me is well-placed.)

Savvybuyer

I've just mentioned the topic of wrong impressions again. It was this topic that made me think I had to post further about autistic people and supermarkets. This is because I felt that my posts, in which I've been saying that I don't have problems with noise and sensory issues in supermarkets, may give you a misleading impression: that this is true of all autistic people.

I just thought I would give you this as to how different someone else can be. It's from a thread found elsewhere on the internet posted ages ago:

"If I go into a supermarket it is hell for me. I didn't mention above that I always consciously distinguish the separate sources of sounds. So in a typical supermarket firstly there is tinny, whiny, hissy muzak blaring at me. Often there will be other music going at the same time (for example if they have a section which sells music or TV's I]sic[/I then the sounds of all those are heard separately and clash with the muzak). Then there are dozens of people talking. I can hear each individual conversation (but they're not intelligible to me, all I hear is separate sources of mumbled 'quacking' noises). Then there is somebody's mobile phone going off (or maybe more than one) and I hear a piercing tinny shriek. And then someone will be wearing a walkman and I can hear a horrible tinny hiss and shriek from that. The tills in the supermarket are often beeping as the goods are processed. There may be 20 odd tills all beeping at the same time and I hear each individual beep separately and as a distinct source. Every time someone puts a can in a basket I hear the loud 'click' as metal hits metal, or the rattling of plastic bags. The wheels of the shopping trolleys make a squeaking noise - and so on. I simply cannot describe how this feels, but to me it is a living, painful, hell."
http://www.internationalskeptics.com/forums/showthread.php?t=33427

Five things (it was three originally, but then grew and grew:rotfl:): first, the entire post is well worth reading in my view, as are the replies to it. Second, I've read that thread a number of times over the years (evidence of yet more repetitive behaviour:rotfl: - but, no, occasionally you do return to things you read years ago when looking at the same topic) and, now, when I draw back from the post and look at it in the context of the whole page of the thread, I at last see how lengthy it is:eek:. I just read it before as one piece, all the way through and didn't seem long at all to me as I just kept reading it all but now, I notice, it is detailed. Probably discusses things comprehensively in a manner that suits me (not that your one-liners of chat that I often see on here aren't understandable: they are, and I read them all, that is not literally just whatever ones are here when I happen to visit this thread and see - it would be horrid if everyone's posts were like most of mine. That said, mhoc, I saw one of your posts the other day and it was nearly getting as long as mine so thought you'd better be careful lest you turn too obsessive like me:rotfl::rotfl:).

Third, I, of course, when I saw the part of the post that said "TV's", I couldn't resist making me own correction to "TVs" so, if the person that wrote it also happens to see this Elite thread, I know they'll understand - so there's one person who has Asperger's correcting another person who has Asperger's:rotfl:.

Fourth, although I've suggested I don't have problems in supermarkets, I've never had a problem with things such as noise, tills or stores being too crowded (I prefer to go at times when it's not busy but that's just me as it's just easier in general to shop then as easier to get through a store and not have to wait behind and then overtake other people blocking the aisles, nothing to do with noise or sensory matters). However, this doesn't mean there are no problems in supermarkets for me: there are my ever-present problems but they are subtle, such as persuading cashiers to accept vouchers, making them even realise you are there when the SS machine is screaming for assistance and they seem neither to see me nor to hear the machine (no body language from me again, or else wrong body language of which I am unaware, and they don't notice the sounds of machines anyway) - they are not great, I do manage to catch the staff member's attention (sometimes it is very good as I don't want their attention:rotfl: - sometimes I don't want to draw attention to myself but then again I do, on the odd occasion something doesn't come out right or I bet my failure to stop at the right moment and moving through space...). I'm also sure people may get the impression that I don't look as if I am to be trusted because of the way I stand or don't really look at them, when the opposite is the case. So it's these sorts of things that I spot but none of them have given any great problem and I think there's only the odd one occasion (over many years) when a voucher wasn't accepted or they queried with someone else before finally accepting (somehow I always get off the hook or manage to say the right thing/repair a situation on a rare occasion things didn't entirely go the way I wanted - but then if my jaw should drop, it probably doesn't and thus no body language assists me then by not telling them that I am really thinking "why on earth did I just say that?" and then talking myself out of a hole that I usually dig deeper for myself. But I say only the odd occasion when a voucher was not taken or questioned too much for my liking - I had one on my own shops though, before I did any glitching, and it was fine as they checked and it showed it was entirely legitimate, so that they trusted everything from me after that(:rotfl:) - in fact I still managed to get the "...but we'll like you have it this time" on one which was not really my liking - and most people here I suspect have had (and some have told of) cases of vouchers being refused, so it's certainly not just something to do with me.

Fifth thing - actually there's maybe six now:rotfl: - just hought of somthing else:doh: - okay, two parts, first I've the story about myself, how I still look away:eek: when people look in my direction - a cashier at the till in Lidl the other day, just making eye contact with me. I seem to have - no, I actually have, not seem to - this aversion whereby it makes me look the other way. I've heard of autistic people saying it's like shining a headlight into your eyes (the person who wrote that book whose title I dislike because of the meaning it has for me called "Look me in the Eyes") - I don't literally see a light, it's just I don't normally like eye contact. I obviously see people and I look to them (I don't want to say at them because that's not correct) when just looking/observing them from my observer role - I'm just interested in what you are doing, as a topic of study, nothing personal - but I give short glances and try to make sure that I'm not looking towards them for too long because I don't want to stare at them and I know people don't like that. There's an exception obviously if they were knowingly playing a game of you both staring at each other. But, yes, I see no light shining into my eyes, I'm just... like I'm a bit shy but it's not as it's now discovered that I am not shy but that it is the condition of autism. I can make eye contact, in one-to-one - in fact I did so during my diagnostic assessment, when the assessor said "But you're making good eye contact here" (came as news to me) and then I fortuitously replied "Yes but in normal life situations, I don't really do so" - I suppose in an interview panel I would be making eye contact as I do tend to do that there, having been trained to do so after early failures of not doing, but normal life - I just have this aversion if someone tries to look me in the eye and I don't want to look at their eyes anyway as I don't know how long to glance for and don't want to be staring. It'll either be a brief glance that isn't long enough, a look at and then away which is also the same or a staring - too long - whatever I do would be the wrong length, but I don't really think about it - I just don't really make eye contact, if I so I just happened to look that way and noticed when I was at Lidl the other day, the cashier at the till I was at just looked to me as the third customer in the line and I noticed it caused me some aversion to look away. I'm also obviously thinking about things like this now that I am looking for them.

The second part - as if we forgot about it - I just wanted to mention that video again, that I linked to a few days ago, here is the link again for convenience
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plPNhooUUuc because I am now reckoning that this won't necessarily show autism to people who are not autistic - which they call "neurotypical". To me, it doesn't show neurotypical when it claims to show neurotypical, I see my normal autism experience there and the "autism" part of the video is probably best described as "intensified autism" (but again it doesn't startle or bother me).

I think if someone who's not on the spectrum just click and view the video, firstly without reading further below which may act as a spoiler.

I don't think - and someone who is NT may be able to post and say this is the case (assuming I believe you:rotfl::rotfl: - I'm not suggesting you would lie just saying that unfortunately a lot of people do a lot of the time, even just white lies - which I probably recognise some of those now but probably if they are obvious(:rotfl: - laughing at the implication of 'still not able to recognise beyond that') - I don't think autism necessarily comes across to NTs in the video. Because I reckon, and this is the potential spoiler part, despite the extra horns and beeps in the second part of the video, supposed to represent autism, I think it's possible an NT brain will filter all of them out so that you still hear what you hear on the NT part of the video. When you (a non-autistic person) go into a supermarket do you ever hear (even if you not consciously listening for it) any supermarket till beeping (presumably you must as otherwise we wouldn't have ever had Supermarket Sweep as no-one would have known there was any beeping at tills) or is all you hear the sound of people talking - or specifically whomever you are talking to - and nothing else, or almost nothing else, is heard? Is there anything extra in the autism part of the video when you weren't aware of the fact there were horns sounding extra in it, extra to what was in the NT part of rhe video? I just had these thoughts on what I posted earlier - I'm just thinking, either scenario, things will be filtered out of the NT part of the video, as they normally are for you (an NT) that I view the same way as autistic, and the 'autism' part of the video, the extra horns etc. will be filtered, along with the rest that was also in the NT video, so that both may end up the same to you. Like I don't experience NT in the NT part of the video, but only autism again, I reckon it's possible NTs (or some NTs depending on precise experiennes and we are all different and all have our own peceptions of sounds and colours) may not experience autism in the autism part but only another NT experience. Anyway, it's a long way from money-saving (I suppose it's 'chat' of sorts, and it's supermarket-related:cool:) but I just thought it additional to what I posted the other day, so that's why I have posted this now. If anyone has managed to get this far:rotfl::rotfl:. Well done!:)

EDIT: Actually I notice - this post isn't as long as some of my others:eek::rotfl:.

I knew none of this about NTs or autistic experience until a few years ago. I thought everyone heard the same in the world as I did (other than obviously those with hearing difficulties or deafness or perhaps certain sounds you can now no longer hear when you get older - but it seems even, as I get older, I can still hear - maybe I have a "special ability":j (as well as knowing, twice as fast, that vehicles are moving, compared to most people)). Now it's clear that quite often people aren't paying attention to me, in RL, or don't seem to realise I am there because it seems they don't even hear these sounds but most people's brains filter them out. Which means it is nothing deliberate - they either seem they are filtered or, if they are hearing them and being aware of them, they aren't showing anything to me that shows that they are.

See you later - goodnight!:wave:


EDIT:
I now notice, below the linked video, it says:

"This video will give you an idea of what its like to walk down a city/town street when you have autism."
Maybe I ought to correct them:think::rotfl: - this is, I claim, "untrue" because, as an autistic person, the video does not give me this idea, instead I got the idea from being autistic and having this experience the first time I walked down a street in a city/town. I also think it may be "untrue" as it's possible it doesn't give NTs an idea of what it is like, if the extra things are being filtered away; however, if NTs can still hear something, and hear something a bit more, then it revolves around the meaning of the word "idea":rotfl:.

silvercar

Back from my hols and seems I have missed magnums, crisps and nectar.

Must be good for the diet!

Anyone know a cure for jet lag?

LANGO1966

Morning,
Very cold this morning. Free sweets on TCB

https://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/topcashback-free-chocolate-or-sweets-up-to-250-via-snap-save-3093182

wendyak

Morning Savvy I have decided that many of us have certain autistic traits and I certainly relate to the supermarket trip as my heart was pounding and I felt anxious as I approached the big store to look for tuna- was it the crowds, the noise, other people's lack of direction and speed or the possible trouting - I cannot say .
One thing is sure, it wasn't enjoyable and it was compounded by the revelation that their freezers defrostedwasting thousands of pounds worth of food and the staff don't even care about doing a good job. Luckily I was able to come home quickly and escape other people's Sunday afternoon entertainment- shopping ugh!

Jeremiah_T_Stone

Good morning shipmates :wave:

Yesterday, I thought I was going to mow the lawn for the last time this year - only it exploded in a ball of smoke and oil halfway through So today's task is the put in a new head gasket and hope it works after that.

I know it's going to remain cold today, so I had the idea of firing up the chimnea to keep me warm whilst I tinker - until DD pointed out that it was not a good idea after all with the petrol fumes from the engine. She's so sensible - No wonder I'm accident prone

Someone is having a lie-in:

Freewheeling

Morning Lango. I can't see the sweets off on my TCB :-/. In the t&C's on the HotUKD website it says you can only redeem one confectionery offer per year so I guess I've probably used mine already on the Easter Eggs :-(.

Jeremiah_T_Stone

How did your run go yesterday on Dartmoor Freewheeling? :A

I may have been able to see you from the top floor of my house

Edit: Just catching up and see you came 1st of the ladies - well done! :T :T :T