Elite 11+ shopping and chat thread part 2½

redfraggle_2

Just had a good look around the O3 app (looking forward to my free bodywash, especially as I pulled out my last cheap Pears one from the good old APG days). There's also an offer on there for 2 x free tickets to Stylist Live at Olympia on either Friday 9th or Sunday 11th - they're claiming 2 x would cost £50. I love Stylist magazine so interested to see what it will be like!

braveheart60uk

Savvybuyer wrote: »

Not necessarily, I don't keep my food groups separate and we are all different. I am a fussy eater but I don't think I have ever seen the need to separate out my food on the plate or elsewhere. We can line things up sometimes to form patterns such as Lego bricks all in neat order, but I like to think that, if I did that as a child (I don't do it now as an adult), that's just my organisation. What may seem disordered chaos or an untidy desk to other people is actually something where I know where everything is. It is therefore organised: an organised mess maybe but not the disorganisation other people may see (because they don't know my system of where I have ordered things). I'm also sure that some people who don't have Asperger's can also have crowded desks and not just some of those who have this typically interestingly complicated condition that I suspect is too much for many people to understand or ever know. It's not because you can't get your head around it; it's because it is all complex detail. Though not literally:rotfl:.

I suspect this is a typical Asperger's syndrome response. I've probably confused most people with my detail there. I mean every detail has to be said because failure to give a single one in any way would give, to any extent at all no matter how seemingly immaterial to everyone else, a misleading impression. Typical with that therefore that the syndrome itself is complicated. I am a complex person overall and it's an issue of communication. It's a communication disorder and I can't communicate all the detail succinctly and probably no-one who doesn't have the condition can easily comprehend all the detail as you are focused on gist. That's "good enough" for most people and will pass. Well, not good enough for me who has Asperger's because it isn't strictly and technically correct in every detail. Anyway, I've most probably gone off a tangent, and the point I am trying to make is that I am about complex detail. The syndrome itself is complex so hard to explain - absolutely typical that a complex person should have a syndrome that itself is complex and certainly face-to-face oral communication of all the complex elements of it, unless I am reading a monologue or a written-down essay, would be near impossible as the exact words I wanted to say would not come out right. This is easier in writing believe it or not. It's things like lack of eye contact when I am one of the most truthful people of all (truthful to a fault in this world) but that is perceived by others as shifty. Almost the opposite to people's perception is true. Staring at you. I am not - I am just interested in whether you are giving eye contact. I try to avoid staring at people - people don't like it. Quite a few things of what a person who has Asperger's does, or myself who has it anyway, are the complete opposite to the way a person who doesn't have it is.

I think I enter a room and see and hear everything. Everything except other people's body language. Other people (who don't have Asperger's - how do I know they don't?, but that's the vast majority) seem to see only other people's body language and be oblivious to everything else in the room. I notice that other people are there, as part of my noticing virtually everything (unless my attention is distracted or I'm concentrating on something specifically); however I have no clue, unless it is absolutely overt such as laughing is happiness, crying tears is sad, what people's body language is saying. It says nothing to me. There is a filter to the non-autistic brain. It filters out the irrelevant (or what is irrelevant to most people). You don't need to hear everything, just what the people around you in your social group conversation are saying (as well as anyone else who is trying to join that conversation, through their body language - in other words I suspect you'll fail to notice and be oblivious as to the presence of the autistic person since they aren't giving any body language or are inadvertently giving opposite body language when they intend to give none at all as they don't have any knowledge of any to give). For me however the 'irrelevant' isn't irrelevant as everything has its relevance or use in some context (maybe transferring from context to context is difficult or not understood fully by me or maybe only after I've learned it as there is an element of context blindness, in theory anyway: I have actively to think about things that are obvious to you): I therefore pick up on everything whether relevant or not as all of it is relevant, there is no filter - it doesn't overwhelm me as perhaps I am used to it and that is how I have always experienced the world, but some autistic people have problems with fluorescent lights, as they can hear the flickering or see flickering that you (and I) can't, or sensory problems and noise and both oversenstivity and undersensitivity - for me, I may hear everything around me (I have no idea how anyone else perceives the world) but it doesn't overwhelm me as my brain can cope with the vast amount of information that it always gets (I don't want to sound pompous or more important when I am not - just that it gets that whilst you probably just get what is, to most people, relevant - namely the body language of the people around you, the precise and only thing that I don't see - so, in that sense, another aspect where what I see, I suspect, is the complete opposite of 'everyone' else or at least opposite of people who don't have an autistic spectrum condition and it affects us all differently).

I've interpreted people's body language sometimes (two rare occasions I can think of) the complete opposite to what it actually means.

I have thought there are a number of ways in which Asperger's people seem to be the opposite to those without. Those I have mentioned and there are a few others that I can't at the moment remember off the top of my head what they were. It sometimes results in perception of me as meaning or being the opposite of what I actually mean or am. And there is no way to correct some, or maybe almost all, of it as it is subconsciously perceived by the other person, so they are not even consciously aware that they are perceiving me this way. So even if you'd need to make adjustments to your perception of me, it is impossible for you to do so since you are not even aware of when you have those perceptions so unable to know that you are perceiving in a way that is incorrect or should be adjusted. The ultimate conundrum! I've said before on this thread somewhere - totally non-moneysaving again:rotfl: - that - and I must admit I sometimes get a bit of mischievous enjoyment of this, but I don't do it deliberately (honestly:rotfl:), the world doesn't quite know how to deal with people like me. The "problem" is that I am not outright wrong, don't contravene any social standards and don't break any laws (whilst the vast majority of people do and seem almost never to comply with absolutely every law on every occasion - claim to be law-abiding but the vast majority break the speed limit - Asperger's are about the only ones that stick to the speed limit (which is a dangerous thing to do when 'no-one else' does - I have to pull over into left-hand lanes, when it is safe, to let others wishing to speed pass me)) - there is therefore nothing that society can say is wrong but I am not quite right (according to the way most people behave, in their illogical, inconsistent and rather irrational way - not that I can't be inconsistent at times but I would almost always know it - in other words, not know it all the time and, therefore, inconsistently, sometimes know it and sometimes not:rotfl:).

Firstly, I am awaiting an appointment to get a diagnosis, my GP and an initial appointment with a psychologist have agreed that a diagnosis will probably be made. Unfortunately, adult diagnosis is fairly low priority and I have an unknown length of time to wait.
I totally agree with you about Asperger’s being very complex, unfortunately people misinterpret it and view it as the “Rain Man “ syndrome and believe that anyone with it are savants or incredibly meticulous. Lol.
I find that whey in a room full of people, I am overwhelmed with the conversations, there is no filter, it is all pouring into my head. I have learnt not to answer questions that are not meant for me, it is just that every word seems to be directed at me. It isn’t me being rude.
There are advantages, I think, seeing something and it being a focus, a flower, an insect and even a stain can be a wonder to behold.
There is little more that can be added to what you stated, it must have taken you ages to make it so understandable, unfortunately I am not as lucky and normally make mistakes that cause offence when not intended to.

mrsmac10

Can I thank Savvy and Braveheart for their insight

My GD is on the spectrum and what I find difficult is that it is basically an invisible "disability" (no offence meant by my wording)

When she was younger she could not cope with all the noises that that were around in a busy room and was perceived by onlookers as a spoiled child throwing a tantrum It was very hard on the parents

fuzzgun19

[STRIKE]I have one screen shot of 200 subbyway points that I won’t be using today going in the recycling.[/STRIKE]


Edited.

fuzzgun19

Tinyshoes wrote: »

Kids hair accessories 15p/37p :money:



I got these few days ago when most were 37p and couple 15p but when I looked today quite a few had gone down further so the majority were 15p. Few different ones available too that I didn't pick...

Thanks TS, I got a few of these hair accessories for stocking fillers this morning.
Also some other things to look out for.

MKS

mrsmac10 wrote: »

Can I thank Savvy and Braveheart for their insight

My GD is on the spectrum and what I find difficult is that it is basically an invisible "disability" (no offence meant by my wording)

When she was younger she could not cope with all the noises that that were around in a busy room and was perceived by onlookers as a spoiled child throwing a tantrum It was very hard on the parents

My son had a similar experience except that he is deaf and hearing impaired. The teachers would sit him with the noisiest groups because he couldn't hear. When I commented on the fact that it was giving him headaches, the teacher would just look at me incredulously and say but he's deaf, he can't hear. I would explain that he was hearing impaired in one ear and could hear volume. His hearing aid also amplified the noise. I also explained that being deaf/hearing impaired, he could also feel the vibrations of the noise if the children were sitting together around a shared desk/table etc. Mostly I would just get a blank look from the teacher and they would carry along with their usual practice.

When the Head got involved, it would be good for a few weeks then back to normal. My experiences of the schools that my son went to was that everything was made as easy as possible for visually impaired children but not hearing impaired children (glasses are socially accepted because so many people of all ages wear them but hearing aids are for the elderly as so few children wear them and are usually picked on because they are different. Usual comment was why have you got chewing gum in your ear?:mad:) Rant over.

Savvybuyer

braveheart60uk wrote: »

Can I also say that "first signs of Asperger's" to me makes it feel like "it's the first signs of the flu". As in, Asperger's is a disease that you catch, it is not, is a syndrome that you are born with, as in my ginger hair. Asperger's is complex and there are similarities between those who have it. Notice. I do not say "suffer" from it, I personally find it a bit insulting for people to assume that a difference between people can be described as "suffering", I prefer "He has Asperger's" rather than "He suffers from Asperger's". Maybe a moot point, but one that I have quite a strong opinion about.

I did think the word "suffering" when I was writing out my post actually but didn't type it and worded it as something else because, to me, it's not accurate to describe it as "suffering". It's not really "suffering", because it's not a bad condition to have (or not that bad anyway). Could be a sign of Asperger's if you are picky or precise over words. I have this thing too with things such as "a person with Asperger's" and say "a person who has Asperger's" instead. This is because "with" suggests that Asperger's and the person are two separate things and the person is "with", or exists alongside, Asperger's. In fact, the two things (the person who has Asperger's and Asperger's) are combined and the person has it, and isn't with it. Again a seemingly tiny little thing, but each individual word matters hugely and each different word is different from any other word that might have been used but would have been inaccurate. It's not really something I find insulting, possibly because I have no idea what actually would insult me:rotfl:; for me it's a matter simply of accuracy (or closer to accuracy) (or, more accurately speaking, not a matter of accuracy but a matter of inaccurracy in the case of a word I don't choose being inaccurate).

Savvybuyer

braveheart60uk wrote: »

Firstly, I am awaiting an appointment to get a diagnosis, my GP and an initial appointment with a psychologist have agreed that a diagnosis will probably be made. Unfortunately, adult diagnosis is fairly low priority and I have an unknown length of time to wait.
I totally agree with you about Asperger’s being very complex, unfortunately people misinterpret it and view it as the “Rain Man “ syndrome and believe that anyone with it are savants or incredibly meticulous. Lol.
I find that whey in a room full of people, I am overwhelmed with the conversations, there is no filter, it is all pouring into my head. I have learnt not to answer questions that are not meant for me, it is just that every word seems to be directed at me. It isn’t me being rude.
There are advantages, I think, seeing something and it being a focus, a flower, an insect and even a stain can be a wonder to behold.
There is little more that can be added to what you stated, it must have taken you ages to make it so understandable, unfortunately I am not as lucky and normally make mistakes that cause offence when not intended to.

I know. It's just that other people will understand (or misunderstand) it differently. Actually, it could be seen as not being any misinterpretation, because the interpretation they have is a reasonable one to take from the way most people behave. It's just that we can't see how others might interpret, or misinterpret, things and it may be said they misinterpret because they assume we don't have autism. That, after all, is how most people are and they are not to know as - put simply, I think this isn't totally accurate - it is an invisible disability.

I don't know what people believe. I just hear what they claim to believe and have no idea of whether or not they actually do, as people very often don't verbalise what they really do think and I don't have access to the contents of people's minds to determine if what they say they beleive actually is what they believe. Or maybe they haven't thought it through thoroughly and their "belief" is a half-complete one that has yet to be formed and therefore, IMO, would not really amount to a belief.

It's all about misinterpretion as people misinterpret almost everything.

curl_girl

Tesco everyday value diet lemonade 14p.

curl_girl

Collected the £1 Yardley hand cream crackers from shoes, marked with the green Christmas sticker as £4 each.
Thanks to the op, sorry, can't remember who it was......