The Edcawber Principle

Brodiebobs

Everyone has made really valid points and i've enjoyed reading the suggestions, nothing to add apart from 'i hear ya'.

We are in the same boat, we're not on massive wages but nowhere near the minimum but we struggle sometimes, mostly around guilt around the kids as ours are a lot older and have much more wants & expenses.

I hold onto the thought that a lot of our friends are very open with their financial situation and although they appear to live affluent lives its mainly borrowed, and they see this as the norm to remortgage every couple of years pull out the equity to pay off debts then start again.

edinburgher

Ouch - poor friends - I hope they have ok pensions!

Luckily DD's demands are mostly the odd toy or a few crisps in her bowl

No idea how I'll manage the million and one demands of a one day teenager!

How do you manage the demands Brodiebobs?

misscousinitt

Hi Ed

I don't really know anything about CB, but maybe you could comprise and still invest half and use the other half for debt repayments - this would mean that the investment would keep growing (be it at smaller increments but still growing all the same) and appease your emotional side and the extra repayment will satisfy your logical side.

I have always been of the opinion that any money you get should be half about sensibilities and half about enjoyment - balance my friend, balance....

MCI

PS Like the fact that you willing to talk about any sort of meal at any time lol

badmemory

I think one of the most important things we can learn as a parent is how to say no without causing a tantrum from 2 to 18. Or maybe that should be how to have our child accept no without a tantrum.

I really really hate being in a supermarket when a child asks for a pk of crisps & is told no you had a pk this morning. Then we have the screaming fit with the stamped foot followed by the crisps going in the basket. Great, you have just taught a child that if it creates enough it will get its own way.

Although I do confess to sometimes wishing I could stamp my foot & scream & someone - anyone - would do what I wanted.

If you never use the "no" then it doesn't work when you really need it. And with a teenager you will need it!

greent

Not all teenagers are demanding Our eldest is now 20 (argh!) and away at uni and honestly has been fantastic. I hear from friends about what their children want/ demand/ have been up to and realise that I am so very lucky with DD - she didn't get a decent laptop until she went away to uni (she had a really, really old one), nor a 'decent' phone (generally had cast offs) She didn't have a double bed in her room until last year ( so many people seem to think their child (esp if a girl) should have one from 11/12), doesn't have any piercings (not that there's anything wrong with that), didn't drink when at school (uni = a different story), her friends at school were lovely and similar minded... etc etc

DS1 at almost 18 also isn't bad! He is harder work than DD (needs nagging more for school work - DD was very self motivated) but is a lovely lad with a cracking sense of humour - and also doesn't ask for things.

Neither ever stayed out late and have rarely answered back - they know what limits they can push and what I'm likely to let them get away with. They're also not label obsessed - thankfully Most of their basic clothes for both of them come from H&M

ZTD

edinburgher wrote: »

I am not currently making breakfast burritos as I tend to boil a couple of eggs the night before and have these with some yoghurt and toast before leaving the house. I could revisit, but not sure how to transport these to work in an environment where I'm trying to create less waste. Each burrito was wrapped in kitchen roll and clingfilm previously and I'm trying to phase out the use of these single use products.

So you've phased something out before coming up with what will replace it? You don't work for the Government do you? :eek:

edinburgher wrote: »

Our current feeling is that one is enough

You do get economies of scale... :rotfl:

Karmacat

Second Breakfast!

That is all

Brodiebobs

edinburgher wrote: »

Ouch - poor friends - I hope they have ok pensions!

Luckily DD's demands are mostly the odd toy or a few crisps in her bowl

No idea how I'll manage the million and one demands of a one day teenager!

How do you manage the demands Brodiebobs?

Demands is probably a bit of a strong word!

They don't nag, have been brought up knowing no means no, and majority of the time are content with their lot, for example at xmas they could both barely write 5 things each they wanted... but the things on the list inevitably get more expensive and although they know the value of money, like us all they see their friends getting things they want (one got a mac & newest iphone for xmas as well as other gubbins :eek:) so have a bit of a grumble.

We're honest, the eldest knows about budgeting and she loves a bargain, and sells her old clothes on fleabay. So hopefully its rubbing off!

badmemory

greent wrote: »

Not all teenagers are demanding Our eldest is now 20 (argh!) and away at uni and honestly has been fantastic. I hear from friends about what their children want/ demand/ have been up to and realise that I am so very lucky with DD - she didn't get a decent laptop until she went away to uni (she had a really, really old one), nor a 'decent' phone (generally had cast offs) She didn't have a double bed in her room until last year ( so many people seem to think their child (esp if a girl) should have one from 11/12), doesn't have any piercings (not that there's anything wrong with that), didn't drink when at school (uni = a different story), her friends at school were lovely and similar minded... etc etc

DS1 at almost 18 also isn't bad! He is harder work than DD (needs nagging more for school work - DD was very self motivated) but is a lovely lad with a cracking sense of humour - and also doesn't ask for things.

Neither ever stayed out late and have rarely answered back - they know what limits they can push and what I'm likely to let them get away with. They're also not label obsessed - thankfully Most of their basic clothes for both of them come from H&M

No mine was never demanding either, but isn't that because we taught them not to be? We taught them that when we said no, no was actually what we meant. Not if you shout and scream enough we will change our minds. They don't just happen to turn out like that. My DS actually dislikes "labels" & says why should I pay over the top for something that gives them free advertising. Whoops! I think he may have listened too well!

Suffolk_lass

We had your view re CB Ed. We started off reserving the CB for our one and only DS. We had to stop when he was three because the finances drove us to use the money to keep our heads above water. We started an investment life assurance thing at £30 a month for 20 years (working on the theory that at 18 he would blow it as I had done). It worked out for us. He bought his first car and saves £100 per month to cover VED servicing and insurance. He has learned to save for the predictable expenses after not being able to do some of the things he wanted to but could not afford.

We gave him too much too early in another area and it did not work. He took it for granted and it backfired. I am fiercely protective and over-support him but I realise he does not learn from these experiences if I always bale him out, so sometimes I watch him "fail" so he learns.

Nobody said parenting was this hard, even with a caring, lovely young man with an addictive personality and mild obsession/perfection tendencies.