Paying off debt to freedom

camz2017

Been a bit of a di*k tonight, I had a date scheduled at a restaurant with a girl, my phone died and I couldn't remember the place. I was in a bad mood so just went to my friends house... so yeah basically stood someone up at the restaurant. Cant help but think I've got some serious bad karma coming my way for this.

I've just read all the messages and stuff from them, I think as I don't know them I don't really feel guilty kinda thing.

Don't judge me too harshly please!

camz2017

I literally don't know how to reply to this girl, like I feel like my real reason sounds like bs. I literally got to the station where I knew it was, my phone was showing like 40% battery and then it just turned off. I didn't remember the name of the place to ask anyone, was roaming around on my own, didn't even know the girls name fully!! Home was like 50 mins+ away via tubes... So I just left after like 10 mins. Now I've got so much abuse like endless messages and voicemails... I know I should apologise but whenever I do that it backfires, and I don't even want to really explain the situation as she's not gonna be like "that's fine then" is she?! I think I will call her this evening or something.

natsplatnat

So late last night you didn't feel that guilty as you don't know her - and now you do feel guilty!


You are right - your real reason does sound pretty carp. If I was the girl, I would struggle to understand how you knew which station to go to, but not where you were going when you got there (personality trait of mine to have everything sorted / remembered before going anywhere!). Having said that, if you haven't said anything to her, I can see why she would be getting wound up (personally I think its a bit of a waste of energy). You will only know how she reacts when you tell her the truth.... which everyone does deserve irrespective of how pants it is! At least it sounds weak enough to be the truth... what I mean is after all these hours you can't come out with a lie as it will look like you have spent all night and morning making it up! Let us know how you get on!!

camz2017

Thanks nats as always.

Hmmm can't say I feel guilty, in total honesty even though I know this is wrong, I feel smug in a way. I think it's a power problem I have, like feeling I got the better of someone is kinda powerful. God that's horrible to say out-loud... It's obviously different for my friends + family. Either way, I believe what you do is what counts not how you feel, so I won't act on my feelings but try and make it right which is what I know I should do obviously. I will call her later & just apologise a lot and explain myself, in a weird way she kinda needs to accept my unplanned, unstructured approach to life, as it defines me so much and I am super forgetful on everything.

camz2017

Right so news, her initial reaction was I was an online troll who was catfishing her and I was just messed up... She said she swiped my profile before, so there was 2 of my profile, which is kinda messed up - not sure if that indicates I am being catfished lol... In the past I've had instagram and facebooks setup as me like multiple times in a row. Ever since I got pictures published on a modelling site years ago now, literally prob like 6 years ago, people got my name and started copying sh*t. I really cannot even understand the benefit, why go on tinder as someone else?!

In the past was an instagram which was setup and it appeared they used some kind of bot as within literally 1 week it had like 5000 extra followers, and I could see the page was following 10+ people everytime I looked at the activity. It was scary in the sense that I had to send identification to get it removed and it was there for a long time. The ID was not a clear enough picture and it was not removed... I had that pic on all my IDs. It had like 25,000 followers when it got took down, they literally took any pictures on my instagram where I was either topless or like posing and used them. The scary thing was that someone had like downloaded 500 of my pictures and reuploaded them over a period of like 2 months, it even had a phone number which linked to a whatsapp where I could see one of my pictures was the profile picture. Number wise, never could do anything to get that removed. Who knows people could still be talking on whatsapp to whoever.

So I finished up at like 4:30 and met her at a starbucks literally to prove I existed. She just kinda said it's happened to her before, once with a guy two times in a row, but apparently her iPhone also dies on weird battery percentages like 40% and she got it. There wasn't any mad anger apart from initially saying it was rude I left things so long & she did get really serious as I kept smiling lol. Her comment was "do you think that smiles gonna get you out of this?" Erm, maybe

I started to feel mad guilty when I met her, so I'm glad now it's all ok. We had a bit of a flirty chat in the end.

natsplatnat

It's all a learning curve isn't it! Glad she wasn't super mad at you and glad you went for the truth and not a lie... I don't think things would have worked out as well if you had!

camz2017

I don't do a bunch of learning haha, but hopefully!
Yeah she was actually really nice, bless her cotton socks
So I returned my £129.99 earphones, again people struggled to hear me so I dunno if my iPhones bluetooth is just weird. I might have exaggerated in the store how bad they were, and got a manager over but I wasn't settling till I got my money back... I'm gonna get some cheap ones now, likely some wired ones. Aint paying that price unless it is perfect.

Just been the gym it was really empty which was nice. Ran 15k and I feel so exhausted!! I picked up KFC so kinda outdone any benefits.

natsplatnat

helloooo?

camz2017

Hey nats still here just plodding along.
The usual got women hating on me lol, fell out with some family as well which is getting me down.

Hungry as per normal, doctors are debating whether to put me on thyroid medication as I'm at the upper end of the scale on t3 levels which are high according to my blood tests and my heart rate is higher than ideal. They've said it can cause weight gain if I'm medicated so I'm totally against that lol. Also they've said without a heightened heart rate they would just leave it, so I kinda feel like it's messing with my hormones unnecessarily. Treat the heart rate not the hormones... I've also got higher than normal testosterone, but again nothing crazy concerning apparently.

natsplatnat

Plodding is good! (glad to see your apostrophes are back to normal!)
Sorry to hear about the women and family issues Never a dull moment eh? God only knows what my sister has been up to - something cryptic on FB earlier - can't be bothered to ask!
Hopefully the Docs will come up with something that works for you re: heartrate / thyroid. Do you feel unwell?
I am feeling zero level of joy today! Not even food is brightening my mood!