Breaking up before finishing unpacking

Radiskull

We are talking as amicably as can be expected. I'm still in shock to be honest. If there was any doubt in my mind about the relationship I wouldn't have gone past the viewing stage of buying a house. We have been 50/50 with costs since the beginning. It's hard not to think that this could have been her plan all along.

streetlovin

Radiskull wrote: »

We are talking as amicably as can be expected. I'm still in shock to be honest. If there was any doubt in my mind about the relationship I wouldn't have gone past the viewing stage of buying a house. We have been 50/50 with costs since the beginning. It's hard not to think that this could have been her plan all along.

I am sorry to hear that. In my past few months of being a member to this forum I've read similar stories. People don't just 'suddenly' break up, there's always a build up. If she did plan this all along then she obviously didn't think it through.

If she needed you to be on the mortgage to get a house then I doubt she can buy you out, which means taking in a lodger might be the most plausible option. I doubt she'll be happy about that if her intention is to have the house by herself...but tough I guess? :P

I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do. Sorry for being awfully judgmental and pessimistic though.

Lolly88

I don't have anything helpful to offer but just wanted to say I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I hope that there is a satisfactory resolution.

Fiesto88

Radiskull wrote: »

We are talking as amicably as can be expected. I'm still in shock to be honest. If there was any doubt in my mind about the relationship I wouldn't have gone past the viewing stage of buying a house. We have been 50/50 with costs since the beginning. It's hard not to think that this could have been her plan all along.

Perhaps she’s had the plan and been thinking it’d be as simple as just asking the mortgage company to remove your name. Same thing happened with a couple I know - they ended up being forced to sell and it dragged on for a long time because they’d bought a new build and expected it to sell at more than they’d paid.

pinkshoes

How much is the house worth? What does she earn?

Does she have sufficient cash to pay you your half of the deposit as well as have enough cash for the deposit on her own.

A fixed 5 year mortgage normally has a very high redemption fee, so you would need to see if she can take over it, which will obviously depend on the answers to my initial questions.

VintageHistorian

Do you earn roughly similar amounts, or does one have a much bigger wage than the other? If she earns the same or less than you then she'll probably find it difficult to get a mortgage on her own, if she earns more and/or can find someone to help her cover the cost of buying you out (such as her parents gifting her a chunk of money) then it might go more smoothly.

On the other hand if you earn more and can find a family member willing to help you then there's no reason why you can't keep the house and buy her out.

Just an aside- you mention you were engaged. Which one of you has been saving more for the wedding? She might have tucked away some extra to spend on the day and has decided to use that to pay you off instead. Just a thought.

Radiskull

The house is worth £105,000. We earn roughly the same (both around £23k basic) but she is due a £5k per year pay increase in the coming months. With regards to the wedding savings, they're nonexistent as we wanted to focus on the house first!

Marvel1

Do not move out until everything is sorted, you don't want to be left on the mortgage for months/years if you move out and she cannot get solo mortgage.

moneyistooshorttomention

cjdavies wrote: »

Do not move out until everything is sorted, you don't want to be left on the mortgage for months/years if you move out and she cannot get solo mortgage.

Probably the best piece of advice on here to date:T

Yep...I am feeling cynical that it sounds like she knew about this before you even moved in together (and I'm a woman myself).

Rough rule of thumb cynics rule- men need to be cynical about women re money and "accidental" pregnancies and women need to be cynical about men re "relationships"/expecting "favours" in return for anything work-wise.

xylophone

Is there any way of internally dividing the property on an informal basis?

If you are on reasonable terms, a "house share" type arrangement might be feasible while you lead your own lives?