Helping My Partner

Tim23

Hi!

I have always known my partner owed a little money on credit cards from when we first got together but it's something we just never discussed. However, lately, since we've got our own place etc, I started to realise just how much her debt is really a shared debt - if she can't afford a drink that night I would just pay.

I asked properly a few nights ago and now know it's around £10,000.

I completely understand the circumstances that caused her to take on the cards (not a good reason but an understandable one) and so just want to do whatever I can to help her get out of the debt. She's paying a decent amount off per month but the credit card interest is meaning the debt is hardly going down.

I wondered if anyone could give me any advice on what to do? I don't really understand anything about credit cards etc. The main things I'm wondering are:

- What's the best way to try and get lower interest rates on existing cards? Is there a best way to approach banks?
- As someone with no really borrowing history might it be worth me looking at ways I can get low interest capital (0% credit card/loan) for her to pay me back? Or will this damage my credit rating?
- Is there any other general advice!

Really appreciate any help anyone can give.

Thank you,
Tim

DebtFreeDuo

I wouldn't advise taking on someone elses debt in your name, I think to learn how to never be in debt again requires you to work through getting out of debt yourself and changing your spending habits. She could look at shifting the debt over to a 0% deal or even a lower deal if her credit rating isn't too bad.

I would always start with completing a realistic statement of affairs (SOA) to see where my money goes and how much I can overpay. This tends to prompt me to have a look at every single bill and see where I can save some pennies and curb my spending.

The most important question to ask here is has she had her true lightbulb moment? The only way we change our habits is if we are completely prepared to do so and we can't make someone be open and ready. Its really not easy to get out of debt. Go over to the diaries for some inspiration, there are some fantastic inspirational people over there.

Tim23

Thank you so much for your reply. I completely see what you're saying and maybe I am approaching this in the wrong way. Something for me to think about!!! Thanks again.

DebtFreeDuo

Definitely take some time to think about it, as long as the repayments are currently being met then there isn't a huge rush, its going to be a long journey and your support and understanding are what will be important.

lynz68

I think you should be encouraging your partner to come to this site herself for advice. This would also show that she is actually at the point of wanting to get it sorted.

By all means be supportive but it is her that needs to deal with the debt and the underlying cause to stop it happen again. Easier said than done.

[Deleted User]

Tim23 wrote: »

She's paying a decent amount off per month but the credit card interest is meaning the debt is hardly going down.

The single biggest piece of advice you can give her is to pay more off.

If the debt is 'hardly going down', then she's not paying a decent amount , but just the minimum - or else she is continuing to spend on the card.

Every additional pound paid will have a significant impact. Look at how costs can be cut so more can be thrown at the debt.

LJB290

Is she able to transfer her debts onto 0% deal credit cards?
You can use the service on here to check likely acceptance.

I have transferred to 0% card for 4 years and a low interest loan which makes things much more manageable.

Dobbibill

Tell her to have a look if SHE can get a 0% Balance Transfer to reduce the interest she is paying.

Tell her to put together a SOA - you/she can post it for some tailored suggestions to reduce costs.

Snowball payments, eg pay off just over the minimum on most debts while throwing every spare penny at the highest interest bearing debt. When that is paid off, use the funds from those payments with the current minimum payment to pay off the next highest and so on.

I would not take on the debt for her, she needs to see/feel/understand the impact and the way to being debt free but I would support her by sitting down with her to go through everything. You will need to be understanding and she will need patience as it won't be a quick result.

EssexHebridean

As a starting point, and for any card that she is no longer using for spending, suggest to her that she makes a change from paying the "minimum payment" each month to paying a set amount just above what the minimum payment is right now. the reason for this is that as the capital balance falls, the minimum payment will also fall - whereas a Direct Debit for a set amount will always stay the same, meaning that every month she pays a slightly higher proportion off the outstanding balance. Only EVER do this on unused cards though!

tori.k

Snowballing is the way to go, as her credit card balances drop she will start getting the 0% balance transfers offers.
It sounds like a fairly new ish relationship and you haven't lived together that long so the best help you can give is to make sure your joint bills are a low as possible check your on the cheapest utilities, and look if there is savings to be had in your shopping and social entertainment cost, which would allow her to pay more off her cards and a bonus for you in general savings.

You need to sit down together and make sure your current lifestyle isn't adding to the debt.
Once your decreasing the debt it doesn't have to be a drag , see it as a challenge and have some fun.
Debt is miserable but often can highlight the best of times, friends doing Budget come dine with me style meals rather than eating out, movie nights snuggle under blankets is romantic rather than saving the cost of cinema tickets and not putting the heating on, twist your thinking and have some fun.