Cohabiting

Mojisola

sheramber wrote: »

You need to decide if he is a lodger or a boyfriend and treat him accordingly.

Find out what lodgers pay locally and charge him that , plus extra for use of the shed and stop any 'benefits'.

Comms69 wrote: »

again that wont work....

Cake and eat it.

Either charge half the bills and nothing else.
OR accept he will gain some interest in the property.

Why not?

If he stops being a BF and becomes a lodger, he can't gain any interest in the property - although it would be very difficult to adjust to the change from partner to LL/lodger.

pollyanna24

Even if she does just charge him half bills, it still means he gets to live rent free.

I think what I would do is ask him to leave and rent somewhere, but you can still see each other. Just don't live with each other.

And then, seeing as you do have a spare room, rent that out for the going rate.

alex_163163

So, in my opinion he is out of order! Complaining about paying £250 per month for somewhere to live! Like other users have said he will not find anything else for that price, so he should realise how good he has it.
You asked what other people do - so my boyfriend moved in with me, into a property I owned. We decided that he would pay 50% of the monthly bills for utilities he would use - council tax, food, water, gas & electric, tv licence, contents insurance, internet etc. At the end of every month I worked out the total and he transferred it to me. I never wanted a contribution to the mortgage, ground rent, service charge etc - I decided to buy the place on my own and could manage the costs as a single person so was happy to do so.
HOWEVER, he did help me round the house, although the flat didn't need any work doing to refurb it. . He would put things up on the walls, try help if something was broken etc (but if a large appliance had needed replacing, I think I would have covered this cost myself tbh - it didn't happen so I don't know for certain).

However, if you took on a house that you knew needed total refurbishment before you met your boyfriend, I can see his reasoning for not wanting to contribute financially as you made the decision and commitment to do this. Yes, he decided to move in with you, but if he had had input at the buying stage he might have wanted something finished already. However, not to help you painting doors etc over a weekend or 2, is just petty!

Comms69

Mojisola wrote: »

Why not?

If he stops being a BF and becomes a lodger, he can't gain any interest in the property - although it would be very difficult to adjust to the change from partner to LL/lodger.

Indeed, and a court is unlikely to accept that's actually what happened.

Comms69

pollyanna24 wrote: »

Even if she does just charge him half bills, it still means he gets to live rent free. - Yes it does. That's the point. Why does that actually matter? So someone is getting something for 'free', so what?

I think what I would do is ask him to leave and rent somewhere, but you can still see each other. Just don't live with each other.

And then, seeing as you do have a spare room, rent that out for the going rate.

I don't understand this, that's not fair, attitude.

Comms69

alex_163163 wrote: »

So, in my opinion he is out of order! Complaining about paying £250 per month for somewhere to live! Like other users have said he will not find anything else for that price, so he should realise how good he has it.
You asked what other people do - so my boyfriend moved in with me, into a property I owned. We decided that he would pay 50% of the monthly bills for utilities he would use - council tax, food, water, gas & electric, tv licence, contents insurance, internet etc. At the end of every month I worked out the total and he transferred it to me. I never wanted a contribution to the mortgage, ground rent, service charge etc - I decided to buy the place on my own and could manage the costs as a single person so was happy to do so.
HOWEVER, he did help me round the house, although the flat didn't need any work doing to refurb it. . He would put things up on the walls, try help if something was broken etc (but if a large appliance had needed replacing, I think I would have covered this cost myself tbh - it didn't happen so I don't know for certain).

However, if you took on a house that you knew needed total refurbishment before you met your boyfriend, I can see his reasoning for not wanting to contribute financially as you made the decision and commitment to do this. Yes, he decided to move in with you, but if he had had input at the buying stage he might have wanted something finished already. However, not to help you painting doors etc over a weekend or 2, is just petty!

Equally - for all we know the GF treats him in a way that doesn't consider his opinion.


So didn't consult on colour choices, materials, etc. Just simply said we're painting it like this, today.


In which case it's very much 'her' house, and I would also feel a bit put out.

mattpaint

onomatopoeia99 wrote: »

The dichotomy remains, one can charge a "lodger" more than the cost of bills, but if they become a "partner" and get the additional benefit of sex with the landlord / landlady, they also get a potential beneficial interest in the property, because something.

No, it doesn't make sense to me either, but it gets trotted out here a lot.

It's quite simple - a lodger has a room of their own to sleep in and is a formalised legal arrangement.

PasturesNew

Sounds like he needs his bags packing. He's only there for his own convenience - and as soon as he thinks he can spot a better deal he'll be sniffing elsewhere for a foot in somebody else's well appointed door!

leslieknope

i can easily see council tax, gas, electric, tv coming to £250 a month so he needs a swift slap around the head and his bags on the door if he wants to continue with that attitude. does he pay for food too or is that included in the price?

maisie_cat

I'd kick him into touch, he sounds like a sulky teenager.