Cohabiting

TBagpuss

Comms69 wrote: »

again that wont work....


Cake and eat it.


Either charge half the bills and nothing else.
OR accept he will gain some interest in the property.

Not true. He doesn't get any interest in the property unless he can satisfy a court that he made contributions And there was a joint intention that he would acquire an interest
Such a joint intention can be inferred but is not automatic.

OP, You are not being unreasonable at all. It sounds as though he expects to, in effect, live rent free

I'd suggest that you try to sit down and discuss this with him, but before you do, decide what you want from the conversation. What is your bottom line?
Consider asking him to explain why he feels that it is fair for him to pay no more than a contribution to the bills? Why does he feel he should live rent free? What he seems to be saying is that him being there shouldn't save you any money (because he only wants to pay half the bills, and nothing at all for the actual accommodation, but that it is not OK for you to expect to save any money.
If he is not prepared to see your perspective, do you want to continue to live with him?

I would not get into a big debate about the exact breakdown of the bills. It's actually fine for you to say "I feel that £xx is a fair amount. It's much cheaper for you than if you were renting or lodging elsewhere, and it means I save a little"

I think in your position I would be suggesting that he move out, the to of you an date if you want to, but keep your finances separate and (if necessary) try to get a lodger to help meet your outgoings.

If you want to stay living together, then think about whether you are willing to put up with this attitude long term, because it is very unlikely that he will change, unless you push it.

Poor_Single_lady

He sounds awful.
Just my opinion but I feel like the right man for you would treat you better than this.

FBaby

You need to separate legal and emotional matter. Legally, you've clearly made arrangements so that he could have no right to your property. That's fine, it's your right and he's accepted it.

However, it seems that emotionally, you want him to act more like someone who would have ownership of the place.

I totally agree with him. If you want to make sure that he gets nothing out of your investment, then it is only fair that he treats the place like he would treat a home that he is renting, therefore fair that he should be paying half of the bills exactly and nothing more.

I have explained to him that the smart meter shows actual usage but I pay a monthly flat rate as per contact and that there are the rent fees also with gas and electric but he thinks I'm lying.

That doesn't make sense to me. Surely you're not paying much more than what you are using, otherwise, you need to reconsider your deal.

It is only fair that if he believes he is paying more than 1/2 of these bills, you show him that it is not the case.

To be honest, I suspect the reason why he is doing all this is because deep inside he resents the fact that you are not prepared to fully commit to the relationship. It's been 12 months and he is probably thinking it's time to move to the next stage.

I've been in his shoes and you do get to the point when you start questioning whether the person you are sharing your life is really loving you and committed or whether they are just making the best of the situation by having a companion that is helping paying the bills.

You've been together 4 years, have you discuss your plans for the future?

spirit

TBagpuss wrote: »

I would not get into a big debate about the exact breakdown of the bills. It's actually fine for you to say "I feel that £xx is a fair amount. It's much cheaper for you than if you were renting or lodging elsewhere, and it means I save a little"

QUOTE]



But does she? when she was a sole occupant she would have claimed 25% discount on CT for single occupancy.

Comms69

leslieknope wrote: »

i can easily see council tax, gas, electric, tv coming to £250 a month so he needs a swift slap around the head and his bags on the door if he wants to continue with that attitude. does he pay for food too or is that included in the price?

Yes probably, so he owes £125 in that case..... she still needs to pay her share too....

Comms69

TBagpuss wrote: »

Not true. He doesn't get any interest in the property unless he can satisfy a court that he made contributions And there was a joint intention that he would acquire an interest
Such a joint intention can be inferred but is not automatic. - indeed, but many courts have accepted that by paying the mortgage the intention was there.

OP, You are not being unreasonable at all. It sounds as though he expects to, in effect, live rent free

I'd suggest that you try to sit down and discuss this with him, but before you do, decide what you want from the conversation. What is your bottom line?
Consider asking him to explain why he feels that it is fair for him to pay no more than a contribution to the bills? Why does he feel he should live rent free? What he seems to be saying is that him being there shouldn't save you any money (because he only wants to pay half the bills, and nothing at all for the actual accommodation, but that it is not OK for you to expect to save any money.
If he is not prepared to see your perspective, do you want to continue to live with him?

I would not get into a big debate about the exact breakdown of the bills. It's actually fine for you to say "I feel that £xx is a fair amount. It's much cheaper for you than if you were renting or lodging elsewhere, and it means I save a little"

I think in your position I would be suggesting that he move out, the to of you an date if you want to, but keep your finances separate and (if necessary) try to get a lodger to help meet your outgoings.

If you want to stay living together, then think about whether you are willing to put up with this attitude long term, because it is very unlikely that he will change, unless you push it.

the most common solution in such cases is for the person moving in to save up a set amount each month. That way if things progress they can buy into the property.

bugslet

Mr.Generous wrote: »

hmmm i think taking everything into account ....

Put the lodger fee's up to a more realistic £350 and tell him you will no longer be partaking in any activities a normal landlord wouldn't if he was renting a place.

Then look for a new boyfriend.

Spluttered my drink onto my keyboard:rotfl:

FWIW, I was not married to Mr Bugs, he left me ( albeit temporarily) for some loose knickered trollop and he was duly ejected from my house.

I discussed with my solicitor what he was due from the house. The solicitor was very clear, that he might get 10k if he wanted to get court, but he might not.

It had been my house for a few years at that point and there were no formal arrangements regarding paying, but it basically split along the lines of my paying the mortgage and food, he paid utilities, I paid most household things, though he would chip in here and there.

leslieknope

Comms69 wrote: »

Yes probably, so he owes £125 in that case..... she still needs to pay her share too....

if you take the national average for all of those bills, i totaled it up to £315 (if we're including contents insurance which he would have to pay no matter where he lived). add in an extra... what? 150-200 a month for groceries for the two of them? plus lets throw an extra £45 a month for him for the storage he's renting for the shed. that's one of the cheapest quotes for a very small storage unit in my area and i assume the shed is much bigger but i'm being generous. so we're up to £257.50 for the bills plus £45 for his storage. so he owes another £52.50 a month.

Comms69

leslieknope wrote: »

if you take the national average for all of those bills, i totaled it up to £315 (if we're including contents insurance which he would have to pay no matter where he lived). add in an extra... what? 150-200 a month for groceries for the two of them? plus lets throw an extra £45 a month for him for the storage he's renting for the shed. that's one of the cheapest quotes for a very small storage unit in my area and i assume the shed is much bigger but i'm being generous. so we're up to £257.50 for the bills plus £45 for his storage. so he owes another £52.50 a month.

£315 - yep fine with me
£200 - bit high, but sure
£45 - storage - no, they're living as one household.


So he owes £7.50

bugslet

Actually he owes whatever the OP decides. If he doesn't like that, then she can either reduce the charge or face losing the income, and he can decided if whatever rate it is, is better than what he can get elsewhere and if not leave.:D

Kind of depends where in the country they live as well.