Money Moral Dilemma: Should I pay my ex's mum back?

Murphybear

Small point, lots of accounts don't have cheque facilities these days (I have 3 accounts with different banks and none have a cheque book)

Ian-RS

Pay it back. the amount of people I have given loans to and not got paid back, end up never speaking to them again. As you say you don't want to be labelled and after all she was good enough to give you the money in the first place

pollypenny

Pay it back for your own pride. If you can't manage it in a single go, suggest instalments, such as a couple of hundred a month.

Your ex is another issue.

telsco

If you've ever watched Judge Rinder you'll know that unless there are written terms & conditions set out for the loan eg interest rate, how much and how often you need to pay bits back and also by what end date, there's nothing in law they can do to get it back from you. If that makes you happier then you've got no morals and congratulations.

angel549

100% Yes. This has nothing to do with how you feel about your ex, the break up, or that the mum is well off. It comes down to the simple fact that she was kind to lend you money when you needed it and she put faith in you that you would pay her back. If you are a decent person, you should pay it back.

Davesnave

Not many of us here having a 'dilemma.'

I'm disappointed at the thread title, as well as its placement.

Vinnievaxer

Of course you should. Her financial well-being does not come into it. She was good enough to help you when you needed help, now repay that loan.

Greveson

telsco wrote: »

If you've ever watched Judge Rinder you'll know that unless there are written terms & conditions set out for the loan eg interest rate, how much and how often you need to pay bits back and also by what end date, there's nothing in law they can do to get it back from you. If that makes you happier then you've got no morals and congratulations.

Did you even read the post? At no point did they ask whether they could legally get away with it or act like they were rubbing their hands together at the prospect of not paying. They clearly said that they've already tried to pay it back and got no response. The dilemma is not whether or not they can get away with it; their dilemma is, considering they received no response previously, is it worth continuing to try and pay back or just assume they've cut ties and leave it.

Do you people even read the post before you jump onto your judgmental high horses?

Big_Ot

If it was a loan, pay it back. If it was a gift don't pay it back.

crmism

You were most fortunate to have had such a kind and considerate mother-in-law who helped you out at a time of need. Regardless of her personal wealth it would, from what you say, be a great pity to lose touch with her, and I really think you have answered your own question.

She could have forgotten all about the money, but it is clearly still on your conscience. Do what's in your heart - keep trying to make contact with her. If she doesn't respond but you know where she lives, write to her with a cheque. She will think all the more of you whether she accepts it or not.