Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

Cherryfudge

I'm sorry this part of the year is proving so hard... I do really like the sound of your potential new tradition, though. You probably don't have to share the woods with too many others on Christmas morning, it sounded so peaceful.
I'm another non-New Year's person. I have sad memories, etc. Sharing it with others and playing card games is a constructive idea, it may make it a little easier for all of you. Perhaps put some music on instead of the telly so you don't feel the gap?
I'll second the idea of playing online games: I got good at suduko when I was too anxious to sleep and I still play that and other games as they take up enough of my brain to help me not be consumed with anxiety. I was never an anxious person till my Mum's final illness but that lasted a long time and my body learned to interpret certain situations as 'dangerous', so I put quite a lot into not going there again - games are the main one really. It wouldn't be the solution for everyone - meditation, prayer, yoga, knitting, cleaning... we find different things.
I hope the Saturday saunter is productive.

elizabethhull

I hope it's ok to say this on your blog, HH - but my Aunt is dying.
My fiercely-independent, strong-minded, financially savvy Aunt has been in a coma since Monday at her care home. She looks so peaceful, so relaxed. When I moisturised her hands (because she always did that daily), her fingers felt supple - not tight at all. I've seen people in hospital look tense with pain, but her face is serene. Her room is full of flowers and those scented sticks, so there is a light fresh fragrance around her. Her favourite radio station is on, and the care staff pop in and out so she is barely on her own. My brother, who strangely to me is an ordained minister, did a night vigil early in the week convinced she was going any moment - and yet she is still here !
Ok, she is 95 but it was still quite sudden.
I'm not sad for her as this is the gentlest way to go for anyone, but we shall all miss her. What is astonishing is that she, to some incalculable extent, is still with us. It may be her essence has gone and all we are seeing is instinctual, but we all choose to believe she may be capable of hearing us and chat away to her ! OH and I live quite a way from the care home so can't pop in regularly, but as there are a number of people forming some sort of informal and uncoordinated rota, she has a visitor each day.
We are busy sorting out, for when the time comes, aspects of her will, the funeral, the wake, the final care home fees, etc etc - but yet she is still here !!

HairyHandofDartmoor

carbootcrazy wrote: »

I tend to lose track of what day it is over an extended holiday period like Christmas. It's with the disrupted opening times of shops and businesses and the fact there's no postal delivery on certain days. Makes me feel like it's Sunday several days in the same week:rotfl:


I'm glad you got your business work done:T. Always nice to get the dull stuff done and dusted:j. Does that mean you'll be able to take Sunday off or will it be more of the same to get things done?


Enjoy your Saturday ramble. You may spot some really good bargains and the fresh air, bustle of other people and change of scene will do you good:beer:

Thanks Carboot .We're still going to work on Sunday unfortunately. Having time off from doing work for customers over Christmas gives us a golden opportunity to do a little extra work on my business.

Cumbria_lass wrote: »

Enjoy your ramble HH , as carboot says you may pick up a bargain.

Thanks Cumbria .

doingitanyway wrote: »

Well done on getting work out of the way.
Enjoy your saunter. I will be having my first 4 mile walk in 4 days and also looking forward to it too.

Thanks DIA . I'm looking forward to some fresh air.

HairyHandofDartmoor

jwil wrote: »

Great news about You Gov :T Enjoy your saunter.

Thanks Jwil .

HairyHandofDartmoor

Cherryfudge wrote: »

I'm sorry this part of the year is proving so hard... I do really like the sound of your potential new tradition, though. You probably don't have to share the woods with too many others on Christmas morning, it sounded so peaceful.
I'm another non-New Year's person. I have sad memories, etc. Sharing it with others and playing card games is a constructive idea, it may make it a little easier for all of you. Perhaps put some music on instead of the telly so you don't feel the gap?
I'll second the idea of playing online games: I got good at suduko when I was too anxious to sleep and I still play that and other games as they take up enough of my brain to help me not be consumed with anxiety. I was never an anxious person till my Mum's final illness but that lasted a long time and my body learned to interpret certain situations as 'dangerous', so I put quite a lot into not going there again - games are the main one really. It wouldn't be the solution for everyone - meditation, prayer, yoga, knitting, cleaning... we find different things.
I hope the Saturday saunter is productive.

Thank you Cherry . I'm sorry your mum's illness was so upsetting for you. Trauma can change us and make us more anxious. Before my sister and mum died I was a different person. My sister's illness from cancer lasted a year and was very traumatic . Luckily for her my mum's death was quick, but that brings it's own issues due to shock. I'm more anxious and more sad than I used to be, but I think I'm more thoughtful and have more empathy for others than the old me.

Coping strategies are very important. I find being with family members (the ones I have left) and friends helpful. Also exercise, especially long walks in nature help my anxiety and grief to feel more manageable. I'm trying to get back into reading as that has always been an escape for me. Being on this forum helps too as the people are so kind. I will have to try online games.

HairyHandofDartmoor

elizabethhull wrote: »

I hope it's ok to say this on your blog, HH - but my Aunt is dying.
My fiercely-independent, strong-minded, financially savvy Aunt has been in a coma since Monday at her care home. She looks so peaceful, so relaxed. When I moisturised her hands (because she always did that daily), her fingers felt supple - not tight at all. I've seen people in hospital look tense with pain, but her face is serene. Her room is full of flowers and those scented sticks, so there is a light fresh fragrance around her. Her favourite radio station is on, and the care staff pop in and out so she is barely on her own. My brother, who strangely to me is an ordained minister, did a night vigil early in the week convinced she was going any moment - and yet she is still here !
Ok, she is 95 but it was still quite sudden.
I'm not sad for her as this is the gentlest way to go for anyone, but we shall all miss her. What is astonishing is that she, to some incalculable extent, is still with us. It may be her essence has gone and all we are seeing is instinctual, but we all choose to believe she may be capable of hearing us and chat away to her ! OH and I live quite a way from the care home so can't pop in regularly, but as there are a number of people forming some sort of informal and uncoordinated rota, she has a visitor each day.
We are busy sorting out, for when the time comes, aspects of her will, the funeral, the wake, the final care home fees, etc etc - but yet she is still here !!

That's very sad about your aunt Elizabeth. She sounds such an interesting person. Whatever age someone is it's always devastating to lose them. I'm glad you're able to visit her now and again and do little things to care for her. Nothing is ever easy in this type of situation.

HairyHandofDartmoor

I enjoyed my Saturday saunter. It was a little spendy though .

I bought a pair of jeans in a smaller size in the sale, as I can take my current ones on and off without undoing them at the moment! I also bought DS1 four pairs of Christmas socks in the Fatf@ce sale for £2 each. I thought they could be part of his next year's Christmas present. Then I bought two packs of half price Christmas cards in the charity shop to use next Christmas.

So a bit of spending was done, but I now have wrapping paper, Christmas cards and crackers for next Christmas, all bought for half price . And it will be nice to have some jeans that actually fit me. Apart from that my spending was a latte in Costalot and my bus money. It was very busy by lunch time so I was glad to leave.

I really do need to keep away from the shops though now .

I need to clean out the furry moron, fold up some clean laundry, wash bedding and towels, and empty all the bins this afternoon. I'd also like to take up my new jeans so I can actually wear them. So I'd better get a move on!

[Deleted User]

elizabethhull wrote: »

I hope it's ok to say this on your blog, HH - but my Aunt is dying.
My fiercely-independent, strong-minded, financially savvy Aunt has been in a coma since Monday at her care home. She looks so peaceful, so relaxed. When I moisturised her hands (because she always did that daily), her fingers felt supple - not tight at all. I've seen people in hospital look tense with pain, but her face is serene. Her room is full of flowers and those scented sticks, so there is a light fresh fragrance around her. Her favourite radio station is on, and the care staff pop in and out so she is barely on her own. My brother, who strangely to me is an ordained minister, did a night vigil early in the week convinced she was going any moment - and yet she is still here !
Ok, she is 95 but it was still quite sudden.
I'm not sad for her as this is the gentlest way to go for anyone, but we shall all miss her. What is astonishing is that she, to some incalculable extent, is still with us. It may be her essence has gone and all we are seeing is instinctual, but we all choose to believe she may be capable of hearing us and chat away to her ! OH and I live quite a way from the care home so can't pop in regularly, but as there are a number of people forming some sort of informal and uncoordinated rota, she has a visitor each day.
We are busy sorting out, for when the time comes, aspects of her will, the funeral, the wake, the final care home fees, etc etc - but yet she is still here !!

What a lovely post, Elizabeth, although written in such very sad circumstances. How blessed your Aunt is to be surrounded by such love and care in her final days. I wish we could all have such a peaceful end. Thinking of you and your family at this very sad time xxx


My younger brother died from cancer in February this year meaning I'm the only sibling left which makes me feel very vulnerable. He was receiving palliative care at the end and drifted into a coma in his final couple of days. Incidentally, the consultant told us that the hearing is the last sense to go and even at that stage we should keep on talking to him right to the end even though he didn't seem to be responsive.

HairyHandofDartmoor

That's very sad about your brother Carboot and I can imagine that it must feel strange to be the last sibling left.

We seem to lose so many people as we go through life, but hopefully we gain people too along the journey.

Willowtree222

Hi Hairy. I hope you get through New year ok. The change in what you are doing might help make it more bearable this year.

I'm sorry Elizabeth for your auntie. I am sure she will take great comfort in knowing you are still keeping up her daily routines.

Those bargains for next Christmas will be great. I am usually organised for next Christmas too, but not this year. I need some gift tags and then I think I will have started myself off the year ok. I sometimes buy gifts and then forget and end up buying people extras!! x