Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

elizabethhull

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

Thanks OBL I do have a candle I use in the kitchen when cooking, but DS1 will get depressed if he has to sit in the gloom .

I just did a YG survey. I need seven more to earn my £50. It's only taken about two years :mad:.

It seems crazy that in a modern Western country people are having to choose between food or warmth. I'm sure your fuel direct debit must come down at some point, but that doesn't help this minute.

I agree about looking into benefits - in the meantime all I can send is a warm hug.
{{{hug}}}

MisterPym

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

The walk was nicer than I thought it would be Carboot thanks to some lovely autumn leaves. Since then I've put more towels on to wash, put clean laundry away and given meter readings to NPow3r (this is going to happen every Monday from now on).

That doesn't sound like much but I feel tired today.

I feel a bit sad too today. That's mainly because it's my mum's birthday on Wednesday and I feel sad that I can't buy her a present and card, or say happy birthday to her . On Wednesday we've arranged to go out for the day, as we felt that we should be together as we will all feel sad. So me, DH, DS1, stepdad, and aunt and uncle are going to a NT place in the day, and my niece has invited us all to her house in the evening.

So Wednesday itself will be busy, but the days leading up to her birthday and just after it are difficult too .

I'm glad I've got pilates tonight as that will be a distraction, and my friend is going too so I'll have someone to walk there with.

Hi,

My Mum died 27 years ago. Each year on her birthday I buy myself the lovely flowers that I would have bought her! I enjoy them and remember her fondly.

jwil

I hope you get paid by someone soon. It's tough trying to manage.

I am an atheist, but people live on in our hearts and memories and it's fine to go somewhere they loved or where you can feel close to them and talk to them or just sit and remember them.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Onebrokelady wrote: »

if it's any consolation the lamp probably isn't using a lot of electric, my daughter is terrible for leaving lights on,I come home from work sometimes and it looks like Blackpool illuminations at my house,I'm constantly walking round turning lights off,it drives me mad,I must say though like your son I would get very sad and depressed if I had to sit in a gloomy roomful any length of time,I crave light in the winter

I find gloomy rooms depressing too but I'm worried about the fuel bills . It is a low energy bulb and I said he's only allowed one lamp on.

HairyHandofDartmoor

carbootcrazy wrote: »

This is terrible! My heart goes out to you and DH:kisses3:.


Life can be so unfair to decent people who work hard and do their best. Sorry, don't mean to be intrusive but is there anything you can claim for, any benefit that you're eligible for? It's not just the unemployed who are eligible for various benefits and once you're in receipt of one I understand you become eligible for all sorts of others. It may not amount to much but every little helps. It's so wrong for people to have to sit in the dark in the 21st century:(.


Sadly, OH and I don't qualify for a single benefit. Not that we have a big joint income, it's just that we are a smidgen the wrong side of the threshold:mad:. Not that we like the idea of accepting benefits but as people who have spent a full working life in full employment and paid all the usual taxes and never claimed for anything it seemed unfair to us that loads of people we know were getting free insulation and all sorts but we had to pay for ours:(

doingitanyway wrote: »

It does seem unfair that you are in this position. In fact it make me feel cross.
You are doing so well, especially given you are also dealing with bereavement.
Well done with the exercise.
Sending a hug (())

elizabethhull wrote: »

It seems crazy that in a modern Western country people are having to choose between food or warmth. I'm sure your fuel direct debit must come down at some point, but that doesn't help this minute.

I agree about looking into benefits - in the meantime all I can send is a warm hug.
{{{hug}}}

Thank you all of you.

We do claim working tax credits, but only get £30 a month, even though we don't earn enough to pay tax. The trouble is as the DC are over eighteen we get nothing for them. DS1 gives us £20 a week from his ESA. We should ask DS2 for money but didn't want to rock the boat due to his mental illness. But he seems much better now and is quite friendly towards us, so we will ask him to contribute £20 a week when he gets back from his trip abroad. He will go very soon and we will save on electricity, toilet roll, etc, while he is away.

I know I could try and get a job, but I'm depressed and emotionally fragile at the moment. Plus I've been working from home or a SAHM for 27 years, so I have no recent work experience. I have been volunteering in the infants school since January so I'm building up work experience with children there.

Our income is very erratic and tax credits take no account of our outgoings. I am sick to death of having no money, so I think I will start applying for jobs after Christmas. I could apply to primary schools or nurseries I think. Or go on the supply register.

HairyHandofDartmoor

MisterPym wrote: »

Hi,

My Mum died 27 years ago. Each year on her birthday I buy myself the lovely flowers that I would have bought her! I enjoy them and remember her fondly.

jwil wrote: »

I hope you get paid by someone soon. It's tough trying to manage.

I am an atheist, but people live on in our hearts and memories and it's fine to go somewhere they loved or where you can feel close to them and talk to them or just sit and remember them.

Thank you both. Next year I will be able to put flowers where she is buried. My mum was very modern for an 81 year old and was on FB. DH has memorialised her account, so tomorrow I will put up some lovely photos of her and say happy birthday to her on FB. That way all her family and friends can remember her.

[Deleted User]

Not wanting to encourage you to squander electricity but. like onebrokelady said, lamps and lights don't use much power, especially as you have low energy bulbs. I think if I were in your position I'd have the light on a bit more, not try cooking by candlelight which sounds like a fire hazard to me:eek:.


Maybe you could have the washing machine on slightly less often as you seem to do a lot of washing. Things like a washing machine will use a lot more electricity than several lamps or lights. As Elizabethhull said, hopefully your electricity bill will start to come down once your own accurate readings register on their system. Not much immediate consolation but I'm sure it will happen eventually:j


I can understand what you mean about wanting a job but now isn't the right time for you. You've a lot to cope with emotionally and you need to grieve fully for your Mum and get yourself in the right frame of mind for taking on a job. Don't rush things. The volunteering with the children will be really uplifting for you as Christmas gets nearer and maybe by then your business will be up and running and you won't need a job so much.


Whatever happens, I'm sending hugs as always:kisses3:

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you Carboot.

I have the lights on in the kitchen and off in the breakfast room while cooking, and the lights off in the kitchen and on in the breakfast room while we're eating, iyswim. The wall is knocked down between the two rooms, so it's perfectly safe to cook. In the past I'd have had all the lights on to make it more cheerful.

I have to run the washing machine every day with 4-5 adults in the house, but haven't used the tumbler for weeks.

I think I do need to apply for jobs after Christmas as the stress of having no money is making DH and I very stressed, and the anxiety is making my grief worse . Every time things get better, it never lasts long and we always end up with no money again. DH's business is just not making enough money . My business won't make money for at least a year and I don't think we'll last that long.

HairyHandofDartmoor

I've just registered for TNS postal surveys, so hopefully I'll earn some stamps that way soon. That would help with posting cards etc.

Can anyone recommend any other survey sites that don't screen you out continually?

[Deleted User]

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

Thank you Carboot.

I have the lights on in the kitchen and off in the breakfast room while cooking, and the lights off in the kitchen and on in the breakfast room while we're eating, iyswim. The wall is knocked down between the two rooms, so it's perfectly safe to cook. In the past I'd have had all the lights on to make it more cheerful.

I have to run the washing machine every day with 4-5 adults in the house, but haven't used the tumbler for weeks.

I think I do need to apply for jobs after Christmas as the stress of having no money is making DH and I very stressed, and the anxiety is making my grief worse . Every time things get better, it never lasts long and we always end up with no money again. DH's business is just not making enough money . My business won't make money for at least a year and I don't think we'll last that long.

Thank you. I misunderstood about your cooking by candlelight. Sorry.

As you live nearer to civilization than I do, have you thought of taking on a temporary job in the run up to Christmas? Lots of work in the catering/hospitality sector at this time of year and Royal Mail often recruit temporary staff. Then there's shop work. Even if you hate it you know it won't be forever and who knows, if you enjoy it, a permanent post may become available as a result.


The only temporary seasonal work within 7 miles of home for me is turkey plucking:eek:. I'm passing on that one, couldn't do it however skint I was:o