Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

Willowtree222

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

It is difficult and speaking to my friend last night makes me realise that perhaps I do need counselling to help me come to terms with the hospital stuff. So I think I'll ring the doctor tomorrow and make an appointment to ask for some.

It's hard to get your finances sorted with all this going on, as much of my spending is emotional . But my finances being a mess is stressful so I must try and spend less money and get on top of things.

That will probably be a good idea. I am waiting on counselling too to come to terms with the sepsis stuff and how my body has reacted since. x

HairyHandofDartmoor

Nicnak wrote: »

That will probably be a good idea. I am waiting on counselling too to come to terms with the sepsis stuff and how my body has reacted since. x

That sounds like a very good idea and I hope you don't have to wait too long before you get it. The wait varies from area to area I expect.

Willowtree222

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

That sounds like a very good idea and I hope you don't have to wait too long before you get it. The wait varies from area to area I expect.

For the normal counselling, it was only a few weeks. Unfortunately, they had to refer me to health counselling, which is a 9 month wait :eek:

I sincerely hope yours is just a few weeks like my initial one was x

HairyHandofDartmoor

Nine months is a long wait!

After my sister died I had to wait six months for proper counselling and then it was only a medical student. I had some CBT after three months but they stated the obvious and it was more suited for anxiety than extreme grief. I think my area can't be very good for that type of service .

Willowtree222

Fingers crossed they have got better x

Sun_Addict

Good idea to get counselling after such a traumatic experience. When Mr SA first became ill the hospital discharged him diagnosing depression. It was only because I recognised the signs of a brain tumour, having lost my mum to one, and persisted with the GP that they took it seriously. By the time he was re-admitted the following day he was close to going into a coma.

It won't help that you're stressing about money too. Bigs hugs from me xx

HairyHandofDartmoor

It's lucky you insisted SA!

I need to trust my instincts rather than doctors, is what I've learnt from losing my mum .

Willowtree222

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

It's lucky you insisted SA!

I need to trust my instincts rather than doctors, is what I've learnt from losing my mum .

Do you feel like you are to blame for not insisting?
Nobody would or could blame you, but sometimes the guilt we feel about things is overwhelming x

Looby_-_Lou_2

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

Thanks Carboot. I wouldn't want to sue the NHS as I think lots of little mistakes were made by lots of different people, but no one deliberately neglected my mum.

But she should have had a scan. Instead because my mum had fallen over they gave her an xray and said nothing serious was wrong. If they had scanned her they would have picked up her underlying condition and maybe could have treated it. But they focused only on the fall and didn't pick up on her other symptoms.

I just want them to do better next time so it doesn't happen to someone else's mother. It doesn't help that she saw four different doctors in 36 hours and everyone is too busy to be proactive.

When my Mum died we were extremely unhappy with an out of hours doctor involved in her care (everyone else from the receptionists to the pharmacist to her GP and all those in between went far more than the extra mile to ease the end of her life).

After a chat with an acquaintance who was a GP we raised a concern about this doctor as we had no intention of suing but didn't want another family to go through what we went through that evening.

The concern was taken seriously and the doctor involved was asked to write an explanation of his behaviour - the consequence was that our NHS Trust declined to hire him again and indeed he decided that general practice was not for him and apologised for the distress he caused.

This didn't make losing her any easier but laid to rest the unresolved feelings of that particular event in the lead up to her death and helped in the sense that we felt we had prevented another family going through such an experience.

Would it perhaps help if you wrote to the hospital expressing your concerns?

HairyHandofDartmoor

Nicnak wrote: »

Do you feel like you are to blame for not insisting?
Nobody would or could blame you, but sometimes the guilt we feel about things is overwhelming x

I do feel a bit guilty. I should have insisted they gave her a scan. But four different doctors told me and stepdad that there was nothing seriously wrong with her, and we believed them . Although my instincts told me she was very ill. But I thought the doctors must know best. I didn't trust my instincts .