Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

enthusiasticsaver

Nothing wrong with value food HHOD. We buy it and could afford to spend more but would rather spend on other stuff. I think Lidl's fruit and veg is good value, we buy small amounts of free range meat though rather than large amounts and cereals, biscuits, tinned goods and cleaning stuff is value rather than branded. We also make a roast joint do about 3 or 4 meals. DH doesn't like any fish other than the frozen battered or breaded stuff so I just buy the odd piece of fresh fish for me. No fishmongers here sadly, ironical as I live in Cornwall.

Onebrokelady

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

Thank you for reading all my blatherings Onebrokelady . It's nice to meet another Devon MSEer .

Your Christmas traditions sound really good. I wouldn't have thought of the cinema on Christmas eve. DH and DS1 love TV so no chance of that not featuring, but I'm determined to drag them out for a walk on Christmas day and Boxing day (as long as it's not pouring with rain :eek:).

I achieve my low food spend by buying a lot of value food, which wouldn't be to everyone's taste. No salmon, red meat, olive oil, or anything more pricey. Just vegetable oil, value chicken, lentils, potatoes, value baked beans, frozen value veg, etc. The only fruit I buy is bananas and satsumas, unless I can get the £1 grapes from the fruit stall. As I say, it's not to everyone's taste. We're not eating well, but we are eating . We don't really have a choice as we can't afford to spend more.

Do you have a diary?

From reading your diary it's become clear to me that where I'm failing with my food shopping is that you don't buy any junk and I buy cakes biscuits etci hardly eat fruit and despite the fact I'm a vegetarian I don't eat a lot of veg,for the last couple of weeks I've been living on pasta and cheese on toast,I do buy bananas and I'm currently addicted to pears but that's about it,I also buy the shops own brand of cheese when I could be buying value but it just didn't occur to me,how daft is that,I'm going to down brand next time I go food shopping, also at the moment I shop in Mr S but I'm going to check out Mr M and my nearest well known frozen food shop,I eat Quorn chicken as I'm vegi so this bumps the cost up, I need to stock up when it's on special offer
I don't meal plan as such but I do cook once and eat whatever I've cooked over four days,there is definite room for improvement,when I get paid and start next months budget I'm going to do my first food shop at Mr M to see how prices compare,it's a bus ride away but I have a travel pass and the bus goes practically door to door,I also have a shopping trolley so can take that if I need to

HairyHandofDartmoor

badmemory wrote: »

You say you are not eating well but you are eating reasonably healthily, which is much more important. Not eating well is KFC on monday, mcdonalds on tuesday, delivery pizza on Wednesday, takeaway curry on thursday etc. After a couple of local bins got blown over a few weeks ago spilling their contents I confess to being a little shocked. The really annoying bit - not one of them is overweight. How unfair is that?

We don't order takeaways or get KFC that's for sure. I don't know how people can afford it. It will catch up with them one day and the weight will pile on!

carbootcrazy wrote: »

Reminded me of when I was delivery BT Phonebooks in a very upmarket enclave of a nearby town. Really big detached houses, long driveways:( with 2 or 3 latest model/numberplate top range vehicles parked there. The refuse collection for that town is not the same as ours, we are in a different local government authority with a different recycling system. These posh houses have a plastic box system for recycling, different coloured open boxes for different types of recycling. I'd hate that, open to the rain and taking a lot of room up:(. Must have been collection day when I was there because they had all put their filled boxes just inside the entrance to their driveways. These houses don/t have a footpath/pavement, just a wide and steep grass verge. between them and the road. I couldn't help notice as I walked past (nosy, moi?) that the boxes for jars and tins at several of these 'mansions; were full of 'value' or 'own' brand packaging. They weren't too proud to let people see what they bought. No sign of any luxury items anywhere:rotfl:.


No wonder they have all the outer trappings of success, they are savvy with their grocery shopping. Nothing wrong with value and own-brand foodstuffs. Independent tests show they are just as good, if not better, than the brands or regular supermarket offerings. The value ones often cut down on salt, sugar and additives to keep costs low.


I doubt anyone on strict budgets would be buying salmon or olive oil anyway, unless the budget variety or when yellow-stickered, so don't feel bad that you can't afford them, HH. I do buy salmon sometimes because we have a local fishmonger who is very reasonably priced and often has offers on especially towards the end of the day. We eat very little meat these days and a chicken lasts us for 3 days' meals. I certainly don't buy olive oil andI don't use vegetable oil now, or sunflower either, but have discovered rapeseed oil:j. Not sure it's locally grown though. Very mild tasting and good for all uses. They grow a lot of oilseed rape round here, brilliant yellow as far as the eye can see, the colour really hurts the eyes when driving past it in brilliant sunshine:(.


What always worries me is if I'm paying for petrol at a garage that has a big Spar shop attached and men come up to the counter laden with sausage rolls, pork pies, cans of drink, crisps and nothing nutritious in sight. Obviously grabbing stuff for their lunch. They are usually workmen and many of them in their 30s and 40s so I assume have wives and kitchens. Why the heck don't they bring sandwiches or something from home? The calorie, salt and fat content of these foods must be horrendous when totted up for a few days, not to mention the cost:eek:. A lot of these men are overweight and I dread to think what they are doing to their health if they keep this up long term. Sorry, rant over:o

You're right Carboot that well off people can be frugal. That was the premise of the book "Millionaire Next Door". Those workmen must be pretty unhealthy. They're probably addicted to fat, salt and sugar and wouldn't want sandwiches from home.

enthusiasticsaver wrote: »

Nothing wrong with value food HHOD. We buy it and could afford to spend more but would rather spend on other stuff. I think Lidl's fruit and veg is good value, we buy small amounts of free range meat though rather than large amounts and cereals, biscuits, tinned goods and cleaning stuff is value rather than branded. We also make a roast joint do about 3 or 4 meals. DH doesn't like any fish other than the frozen battered or breaded stuff so I just buy the odd piece of fresh fish for me. No fishmongers here sadly, ironical as I live in Cornwall.

It's true that value food can have less additives .

HairyHandofDartmoor

Onebrokelady wrote: »

From reading your diary it's become clear to me that where I'm failing with my food shopping is that you don't buy any junk and I buy cakes biscuits etci hardly eat fruit and despite the fact I'm a vegetarian I don't eat a lot of veg,for the last couple of weeks I've been living on pasta and cheese on toast,I do buy bananas and I'm currently addicted to pears but that's about it,I also buy the shops own brand of cheese when I could be buying value but it just didn't occur to me,how daft is that,I'm going to down brand next time I go food shopping, also at the moment I shop in Mr S but I'm going to check out Mr M and my nearest well known frozen food shop,I eat Quorn chicken as I'm vegi so this bumps the cost up, I need to stock up when it's on special offer
I don't meal plan as such but I do cook once and eat whatever I've cooked over four days,there is definite room for improvement,when I get paid and start next months budget I'm going to do my first food shop at Mr M to see how prices compare,it's a bus ride away but I have a travel pass and the bus goes practically door to door,I also have a shopping trolley so can take that if I need to

Pasta and cheese on toast is okay, but you should get some fruit, veg and protein in there too. I spend more on pasta and rice to get wholewheat and brown as it's a complex carb and healthier, plus more filling. Quorn is expensive so I only buy it when half price. Instead lentils, chickpeas etc are a cheap protein. Do you like curry? DH does a lovely potato and spinach curry which is very cheap. I don't buy cake and biscuits or we just eat them and DH is diabetic. I try and get him to snack on bananas and fruit stall grapes. Still sugary I know but natural sugar and he craves sugar at times. On the Mr T vegetable oil it says rapeseed oil if you look on the ingredients on the label.

I think Mr S is expensive so you will probably get it cheaper at Mr M.

HairyHandofDartmoor

I didn't have time to post yesterday, as it was so hectic! We worked on my business all morning as I needed DH's help with this bit. He hasn't had time to show me how to do it. Then we rushed off to meet my stepdad and go for a walk, then back to his place for dinner. It was a lovely autumn walk in the sunshine, but stepdad was sad because he'd done it with my mum a few years ago . He's been struggling a bit the last few weeks, I guess the shock has worn off and reality has set in .

This coming weekend is the wedding we can't afford to go to. Just as well because I think I would feel terrible if I was there, as my mum desperately wanted to go . Anyway on the plus side I reckon we've saved £500 by not going, which we definitely don't have. Stepdad doesn't want to go but feels he should go.

Today DH has a meeting. I'm going with him to save bus money. His meetings are normally two hours, so I'll go for a walk and meet him afterwards. The money I save on bus fares can pay for a coffee. Then tonight I've got Pilates, so a bit spendy but good for my mental health.

It's a lovely sunny day again.

doingitanyway

Wondering if you could do a small treat for you and stepdad at the time of the wedding so neither of you think about it. Doesn't need to cost. Could be an Autumn walk together? Just a thought.

Enjoy Pilates and your walk. Definitely good for your mental health

[Deleted User]

I can understand how you feel about the wedding, HH. I can really understand how your Stepdad in particular is feeling about it. Probably the first big event he'll have to go to by himself and not as part of a couple.


My Dad died 2 months before the wedding of my Brother's daughter (Mum's only Grand daughter). I'd been shopping with her several weeks before Dad died suddenly and she had all her outfit and gift ready. Since the funeral though she had barely left the house, found it hard to eat and had lost over a stone which she really couldn't afford to lose. The lovely outfit hung on her by the time the wedding was nearly upon us. She was adamant (to me at least) that she wasn't up to going and couldn't face it. I'm sure her Grand daughter would have understood but probably would have been very upset not to see her there. Took me a lot of persuading to get her geared up to go. It was only in the same town and I was going to take her anyway. I managed to get her to the shops to buy a new lightweight coat to wear as that was the part of her outfit that would be seen on the photos. The original looked like a tent, she always bought 'roomy' coats to cater for adding layers underneath. The dress part of the original outfit could be made to look OK with the addition of a belt. She was a talented dressmaker but not up to altering the original coat and I felt a bit out of practice to attempt it:o. We couldn't have paid someone to alter it either as it was literally the day before the event that she finally said she 'might' go. Mum took a great deal of pride in her appearance, was a bit obsessive in my view, and I couldn't bear for her to go looking less than tip top especially as her image would be preserved forever on photographs. On the day, although it was obviously an ordeal for her and she asked me to take her home as soon as the main reception was over, she looked a treat in all the photos.


The worst part for her was when the photographer was taking group photos and said 'now let's have one of the Bride and Groom with their Parents and Grandparents'. The Groom's Grandparents were both there but Mum was struggling to hold back the tears in that shot. I really admired her for having the guts to go through with the whole event, until we actually arrived I fully expected her to have a last-minute change of heart and me to have to go on my own.


In retrospect, after a lot of time had passed and things were less raw, she told me she was really glad she'd gone.

elizabethhull

carbootcrazy wrote: »

I can understand how you feel about the wedding, HH. I can really understand how your Stepdad in particular is feeling about it. Probably the first big event he'll have to go to by himself and not as part of a couple.


My Dad died 2 months before the wedding of my Brother's daughter (Mum's only Grand daughter). I'd been shopping with her several weeks before Dad died suddenly and she had all her outfit and gift ready. Since the funeral though she had barely left the house, found it hard to eat and had lost over a stone which she really couldn't afford to lose. The lovely outfit hung on her by the time the wedding was nearly upon us. She was adamant (to me at least) that she wasn't up to going and couldn't face it. I'm sure her Grand daughter would have understood but probably would have been very upset not to see her there. Took me a lot of persuading to get her geared up to go. It was only in the same town and I was going to take her anyway. I managed to get her to the shops to buy a new lightweight coat to wear as that was the part of her outfit that would be seen on the photos. The original looked like a tent, she always bought 'roomy' coats to cater for adding layers underneath. The dress part of the original outfit could be made to look OK with the addition of a belt. She was a talented dressmaker but not up to altering the original coat and I felt a bit out of practice to attempt it:o. We couldn't have paid someone to alter it either as it was literally the day before the event that she finally said she 'might' go. Mum took a great deal of pride in her appearance, was a bit obsessive in my view, and I couldn't bear for her to go looking less than tip top especially as her image would be preserved forever on photographs. On the day, although it was obviously an ordeal for her and she asked me to take her home as soon as the main reception was over, she looked a treat in all the photos.


The worst part for her was when the photographer was taking group photos and said 'now let's have one of the Bride and Groom with their Parents and Grandparents'. The Groom's Grandparents were both there but Mum was struggling to hold back the tears in that shot. I really admired her for having the guts to go through with the whole event, until we actually arrived I fully expected her to have a last-minute change of heart and me to have to go on my own.


In retrospect, after a lot of time had passed and things were less raw, she told me she was really glad she'd gone.

So difficult to put yourself into the future mind-set of, 'I'm glad I went', when you're feeling like life has lost its meaning. Good for you, CBC, getting your Mum there and supporting her.

Of course if the proposed wedding jaunt is going to cost ~£500, as it would be for HHOD, well I blench at the idea. It's totally ridiculous and wildly unfair on most guests. I think if either of my daughters had suggested that scale of commitment, it would have been you can EITHER have the money to help with the wedding OR our presence, but not both !!

HairyHandofDartmoor

doingitanyway wrote: »

Wondering if you could do a small treat for you and stepdad at the time of the wedding so neither of you think about it. Doesn't need to cost. Could be an Autumn walk together? Just a thought.

Enjoy Pilates and your walk. Definitely good for your mental health

Thanks DIA. Stepdad wavering as to whether or not to go, but if he stays home we could do something together.

carbootcrazy wrote: »

I can understand how you feel about the wedding, HH. I can really understand how your Stepdad in particular is feeling about it. Probably the first big event he'll have to go to by himself and not as part of a couple.


My Dad died 2 months before the wedding of my Brother's daughter (Mum's only Grand daughter). I'd been shopping with her several weeks before Dad died suddenly and she had all her outfit and gift ready. Since the funeral though she had barely left the house, found it hard to eat and had lost over a stone which she really couldn't afford to lose. The lovely outfit hung on her by the time the wedding was nearly upon us. She was adamant (to me at least) that she wasn't up to going and couldn't face it. I'm sure her Grand daughter would have understood but probably would have been very upset not to see her there. Took me a lot of persuading to get her geared up to go. It was only in the same town and I was going to take her anyway. I managed to get her to the shops to buy a new lightweight coat to wear as that was the part of her outfit that would be seen on the photos. The original looked like a tent, she always bought 'roomy' coats to cater for adding layers underneath. The dress part of the original outfit could be made to look OK with the addition of a belt. She was a talented dressmaker but not up to altering the original coat and I felt a bit out of practice to attempt it:o. We couldn't have paid someone to alter it either as it was literally the day before the event that she finally said she 'might' go. Mum took a great deal of pride in her appearance, was a bit obsessive in my view, and I couldn't bear for her to go looking less than tip top especially as her image would be preserved forever on photographs. On the day, although it was obviously an ordeal for her and she asked me to take her home as soon as the main reception was over, she looked a treat in all the photos.


The worst part for her was when the photographer was taking group photos and said 'now let's have one of the Bride and Groom with their Parents and Grandparents'. The Groom's Grandparents were both there but Mum was struggling to hold back the tears in that shot. I really admired her for having the guts to go through with the whole event, until we actually arrived I fully expected her to have a last-minute change of heart and me to have to go on my own.


In retrospect, after a lot of time had passed and things were less raw, she told me she was really glad she'd gone.

That is exactly the type of thing tnat will upset him. He will have to drive to the Norfolk coast which is a long way from here and it's upsetting for him driving all that way alone missing my mum next to him . Once there it's a celebration of love and he has recently lost the love of his life .

elizabethhull wrote: »

So difficult to put yourself into the future mind-set of, 'I'm glad I went', when you're feeling like life has lost its meaning. Good for you, CBC, getting your Mum there and supporting her.

Of course if the proposed wedding jaunt is going to cost ~£500, as it would be for HHOD, well I blench at the idea. It's totally ridiculous and wildly unfair on most guests. I think if either of my daughters had suggested that scale of commitment, it would have been you can EITHER have the money to help with the wedding OR our presence, but not both !!

I've said to my stepdad it should be his decision as to whether to go, based on whether he can cope with the long journey and a big happy celebration. Like me he can't cope well with big happy gatherings since my mum died. I was in tears most of the time at my dad and stepmum's anniversary party. I didn't want to spoil it for them, but I just couldn't help it as it was only a month after my mum had died . He may be glad in later years if he went, but he is so emotional at the moment and it's such a long way away.

Elizabeth we would have to drive to the Norfolk coast and stay in a hotel for two nights. There are no cheap hotels near the venue, only expensive boutique type ones. So with petrol, hotel bill and meals, etc, we estimate £500 just for me and DH :eek:. And that would be if the DC paid for themselves, which they probably wouldn't want to.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Nicnak wrote: »

We play snakes and ladders. I hadn't thought about that! We have the usual hungry hippos etc. I know she is getting pie face from my mum, so I suspect that will be played over the Christmas period. I must remember to buy squirting cream to go with it otherwise she will not be happy.

The pjs were only from home and bargain so not very expensive at all. We have an Xmas eve box too with our name on it that I fill with things for her. (reindeer food etc).

This year is going to be very different for us both, but I still want it to be magical.

Last weekend, I took her to the shop so she could pick out three decorations for our tree. That was nice as she looked at everything and when we decorate the tree, she will know they are hers. She also wants a small tree in her room so I will get her a table top one. x

Apologies if these are things you already know/do Nicnak, but you can make a free video message from Santa on Portable North Pole (PNP) app. It’s really involved and great for a freebie. Prepare it when she’s in bed one night and then it’s waiting for her whenever you want her to see it. You can also track santa on Christmas Eve on the Norad tracker as he delivers his presents around the world.

I used to take my 2 to soft play on Christmas Eve when they were small to burn off some of the excitement. The local Church Christingle service is always very sweet, even if, like us, you aren’t religious