Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

HairyHandofDartmoor

I've been feeling really tired and my mood has been very low over the bank holiday weekend. I haven't posted for a few days because I haven't been doing anything. I think my low mood was triggered by DS3 saying he's not coming home for the summer. I haven't seen him since January and I was really looking forward to having him home. But the ongoing situation with BIL's terminal cancer and the general lockdown isn't helping. Anyway I started to feel a bit better on Monday so DH, DS1 and I went for a walk in the park which was nice, it made a change to go for a walk with someone as I usually go on my own. 

I still feel a bit low today and find myself thinking about my Mum and the past a lot and feeling melancholy. I feel like my happiest times are all in past because all the people I love were still alive then. I'm trying not to dwell on sad thoughts but it's difficult not to at the moment. 

I forced myself to start work on my final assignment today and I've got halfway through it. I also put a wash on and dried it in the garden and pulled a few more weeds out of the wall. I'm trying to make myself do a few things as I know I feel worse if I sit around and do nothing.

beanielou

Keep plodding x

elizabethhull

There's so much to deal with at the moment,  I'm not surprised that at times it all seems overwhelming.

Sending warm wishes, virtual 'coffee and cake', and the strength to take each day as it comes xx

Willowtree222

Thinking of you Hairy. It is overwhelming at the minute and topped with everything that is going on, it is now surprising that you are having low days. x

milann

Sorry to hear that you’re feeling low. It’s not surprising though as there is a lot to deal with at the moment. Hopefully by summer you’ll be able to visit your son and maybe stay over and do something nice with him. Will it be his last year next year? 

[Deleted User]

Sending lots of virtual hugs, HH xxx.  I expect so many people are feeling low at the moment.  People's lives have been turned upside down, all the familiar things that we rely on have been taken away, for now at least.  Perfectly natural to dwell on happier  times and loved ones who have gone from our lives.

Looking to the future, I expect you'll be a Grandmother one day.  You'll be a brilliant one, I just know it.  Something for you to look forward to, new people coming into your life that you'll love to bits.  Any sign of any of your older sons getting married or moving in with someone yet?  I know you'd hate them to go but it's probably just the next inevitable stage.  You never mention any of their girlfriends though so maybe it's a fair way off yet.

Take care of yourself xx

Sun_Addict

Sorry to hear DS won’t be coming home for the summer and that you feel low right now. I think we’re all experiencing some low moments right now, it seems such a long haul. You have plenty to look forward to in the future, better times will come. For now just take it one day at a time. Virtual hugs 🤗 

HairyHandofDartmoor

beanielou said:

Keep plodding x

elizabethhull said:

There's so much to deal with at the moment,  I'm not surprised that at times it all seems overwhelming.

Sending warm wishes, virtual 'coffee and cake', and the strength to take each day as it comes xx

Nicnak said:

Thinking of you Hairy. It is overwhelming at the minute and topped with everything that is going on, it is now surprising that you are having low days. x

milann said:

Sorry to hear that you’re feeling low. It’s not surprising though as there is a lot to deal with at the moment. Hopefully by summer you’ll be able to visit your son and maybe stay over and do something nice with him. Will it be his last year next year? 

Delichon said:

Sending lots of virtual hugs, HH xxx.  I expect so many people are feeling low at the moment.  People's lives have been turned upside down, all the familiar things that we rely on have been taken away, for now at least.  Perfectly natural to dwell on happier  times and loved ones who have gone from our lives.

Looking to the future, I expect you'll be a Grandmother one day.  You'll be a brilliant one, I just know it.  Something for you to look forward to, new people coming into your life that you'll love to bits.  Any sign of any of your older sons getting married or moving in with someone yet?  I know you'd hate them to go but it's probably just the next inevitable stage.  You never mention any of their girlfriends though so maybe it's a fair way off yet.

Take care of yourself xx

Sun_Addict said:

Sorry to hear DS won’t be coming home for the summer and that you feel low right now. I think we’re all experiencing some low moments right now, it seems such a long haul. You have plenty to look forward to in the future, better times will come. For now just take it one day at a time. Virtual hugs 🤗 

Thank you everyone. I know everyone is under stress at the moment. It's easy to get overwhelmed with it all, especially when a lot of our coping strategies have been taken away from us.

HairyHandofDartmoor

I got up a bit earlier today and was determined to finish my assignment today no matter what. Anyway it's finished and I've uploaded it and emailed my tutor to tell her. I think it's the most boring of all the assignments I've done and it was really hard to make myself work on it but it's finally done. I've finished all of my assignments, all nine of them 😃. As far as I know all I need to to do now to finish my course is a couple of telephone discussions and an observation that will probably have to be based on my Level 2 one. I've completed five assignments during lockdown and I feel like that time was very well spent because when I was at school I was so tired I could only do them in the holidays. And now I won't have to spend my holidays doing college work 🙂.

BIG NEWS
When I was halfway through my assignment I had a phone call from school and they asked if I would be available to do the TA cover again that I was doing before lockdown. I said yes, so I have to go in to school at 8am on Monday for a meeting about PPE. I've got mixed feelings about it 🤔. One part of me is delighted as it's such good experience and I'll earn a lot more money. But another part of me is scared that I'll catch the virus and give it to DH who may be very ill with it. Anyway at least I won't have to worry about how to pay the bills from now on and I'll be much busier so I won't have so much time to brood about the past. But on the other hand it's been nice having more time to spend with my family and being able to get so many jobs done around the house and garden.

So you can see why I have mixed feelings 🤔. I think that if I wasn't worried about infection then I'd be pleased because it's the career I want to do and we need the money. I'll have to be very careful about keeping a safe distance from the children and other staff and washing my hands frequently and not touching my face. I'll also carry on having a shower and washing my hair as soon as I get home and wearing clean clothes every day, plus wiping down my bag and id, etc, every day when I get home.

Anway I'm going to be very busy and tired for the next seven weeks until the summer holidays so I need to make the most of the four days that I have left. I want to paint the garden bench, go for another walk by the sea, cut DH's hair a bit shorter to perfect it and get my summer clothes ready for school. They've removed dress restrictions from school temporarily, but I'll probably dress the same as I normally do as I tend to look semi smart and wear cotton trousers and a smartish tee shirt most days. I wouldn't feel professional going in in jeans even though we're now allowed to and I need to wear something that I can wash and dry easily as I'll need to wash my  school clothes after every wear.

I have such a lot to think about now, but at least it's a distraction from thinking about sad thoughts.

I hope everyone is having a good Wednesday  🙂.

beanielou

Good news I think on the TA cover.
Good news on the assignment being finished too