Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

Willowtree222

I just have the standard phobia of spiders. I am actually so much better since living on my own, but at one point would turn into a sweaty mess. Having to deal with it on my own has made me realise I needed to sort it. 
I once lived with someone who had a fear of people being sick. I was coughing once and when I looked round she was in the corner cowering as she thought I was going to be sick. The other one I know of is cotton wool. The thought of it makes them cry. 
x

jwil

Mine is fingernails/toenails *shudder*.  I hate long nails, they make me feel really sick, pictures of people's feet etc.  Just writing this is making me cringe!

[Deleted User]

Nicnak said:

I just have the standard phobia of spiders. I am actually so much better since living on my own, but at one point would turn into a sweaty mess. 

That sounds just how my Mum was when she encountered a spider. She actually  froze and went pale. I remember if it ever happened and my Dad and siblings were not in the house at the time Mum would scream for me to come and get rid of it.  I was only about 5 years old when I first had to come to the rescue.  It made me chuckle many times since when I remembered it, not because she was so scared (although as a child I couldn't imagine how a grown up could be scared of spiders of all things) but because I had to be the hero.

milann

I hate going down escalators - going up is fine but I come out in a sweat at the thought of going down and dh has often thought I was behind him to get to the bottom and I’m still at the top....he’s come back and I hold him as I get on. Ideally I wouldn’t go down them at all but I’ve made myself as it is irrational and could make life very difficult. London Underground is my idea of hell. It stems from being a little girl and going to Lewis’s with my brother who is 11 years my senior. The old wooden steps on the escalators had wide space in between the slats of the step and my brother teased me telling me I’d get sucked under and the. I saw a lady get her stiletto stuck in said slat.....and that was it...been scared ever since 🤔 brothers!!!😂😂

HairyHandofDartmoor

beanielou said:

I think you have been such a busy bee & achieved so much this week.
I so get what you mean about your DS.  I miss mine sometimes so much that it hurts but of course as we know that is part of them growing up.

elizabethhull said:

HairyHandofDartmoor said:

I've just found out from DS3 that he's not planning on coming home for the entire summer holiday but will just visit a couple of times.......
Nobody else can hurt you like your children can and they don't even do it on purpose, they hurt you when they stop needing you  😥.

What a shame he'll be away so long. I suppose it shows you've done your parental job well when they're independent. The next stage is that they start thinking they can tell YOU what to do - the cheek of it !!!!

Delichon said:

HairyHandofDartmoor said:

I've just found out from DS3 that he's not planning on coming home for the entire summer holiday but will just visit a couple of times. Although I half expected this I still feel disappointed 😥. I know he's lost touch with his friends here and gets bored in the holidays and spends most of his time in his room, so I can understand that he'd rather stay in his uni town where he's got friends. But it still makes me feel sad 😥. The fact that I did the exact same thing when I was at uni doesn't make me feel any better. Nobody else can hurt you like your children can and they don't even do it on purpose, they hurt you when they stop needing you  😥.

Aaaw, HH, please don't feel bad that DS isn't spending the whole summer vac at home.  He didn't mean to hurt or upset you, but you said that yourself.  You say you did the self-same thing when you were a student and you know you wouldn't have hurt your own parents for the world..  I did the same thing too, it's just the way life evolves.  Maybe you're feeling extra-emotional because of all upheaval and uncertainty that the virus has made to your lives. Also, he's the youngest of your DSs and we always think of the youngest  as our 'baby' however old they are .We don't love our parents any less for not seeing them so much, we just have so much else going on that we don't feel the need to be physically with them so much.  It must be much nicer and comforting for all of you that with modern technology  you can keep in touch virtually, 'face to face'.  Not like my day (and yours) when all we had was a landline phone (in my case queuing for a vacant phonebox with impatient people outside gesturing me to hurry up) or letter.


On the plus side, you and DH won't have to drive back and forth transporting all his possessions this term.  When/if you can get to visit him you can do so at your leisure and make a real break of it.

Enjoy your weekend.  Your seaside walk sounded lovely and just the tonic you and DH needed. xx

Thank you.

HairyHandofDartmoor

milann said:

I envy you the walk by the sea....I know in theory we can travel but it doesn’t feel right to go from here yet. It’s an hour and a half for me to go to the sea. I’ll wait a little longer until I venture to the seaside. 

I know exactly what you mean able the feeling when the children don’t need you the way they used to.  I felt that way when dd stayed in the city she went to uni at. I’m feeling it atm with her being the other end of the country form me. It’s the not knowing when we can go and stay or they can stay here again that’s getting to me and it’s too far for a day trip. I usually count the weeks down as we roughly see each other every couple of months - more often if we can, but that’s usually the longest period we go.

Onebrokelady said:

Awww sorry to hear your son is not coming home for the summer, it's horrible when you don't get to see them 😟 hopefully when and if they relax the rules you will be able to visit each other 😊

Thank you.

[Deleted User]

I hope all's well with you and the family, HH.  We've missed your posts about what you're getting up to.  I hope you've managed to get some fresh air and, hopefully, seaside walks.

doingitanyway

i hope you are relaxing and enjoying nice walks

HairyHandofDartmoor

Delichon said:

I hope all's well with you and the family, HH.  We've missed your posts about what you're getting up to.  I hope you've managed to get some fresh air and, hopefully, seaside walks.

doingitanyway said:

i hope you are relaxing and enjoying nice walks

Thank you.

foxgloves

How interesting about different phobias. HHoD, I was fascinated to hear of your partner's button phobia because my best friend also has it. Until she told me about it, I had never heard of it & until you mentioned it, I'd never heard of anybody else with it, although I know it does have a name. My friend avoids clothes with buttons on & wouldn't cope well with knowing there was one on the floor in need of picking up. She's a teacher & I remember her telling me that one of her worst things was infants swimming lessons as they often needed help getting dressed afterwards & would come & ask her to help with buttons. She used to have to force herself to do it, hating every moment.
I am claustrophobic..... I never go in lifts in case I am trapped. I also have quite bad arachnaphobia. I thought this would decrease as I got older, but it hasn't really. The sight of a spider, whether it is real, on TV or in a picture instantly sparks an adrenalin response with pounding heart, shakiness & wanting to run. Am ok-ish with small ones, but anything bigger than a 10p (absolute max!) is a problem. It is so irrational as I am fine with all other creatures including insects. 
Ah well, we are what we are, I suppose!
F x