Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

EssexHebridean

Glad you're feeling on the mend again HH.

arsenalbarnie

Ooh Hairy, I live with five men and one woman, my offspring all grown up like you. I feel for you with the housework. The two that now live away most only are the most helpful, DD is good with loading dishwasher but leaves a trail around the house of where she has been. However since my op OH had to join in with housework. He now does the hoovering, feeds the dogs, tidies the kitchen although very noisily! He also absolutely loves doing the washing and hanging it on the line. Although I have taken over doing the washing again as things were getting shrunk etc lol.He draws a line at cooking! We do now have the luxury of a cleaner for two hours a week as we have 4 bathrooms and he can’t manage them with his bad back. Mine always say you only need to ask but I feel like we shouldn’t have to! Was watching the Royle Family Christmas episode with DD last night. She had never seen it before and was really irritated with Barbara having to do everything whilst everyone else sat on the sofa :rotfl:

Sorry to hear you’re ill again. Yuk to the child being being sick on the stage, remember that well when I was a TA. Poor kids,sat there in their costumes boiling hot and a bit off colour, recipe for disaster!

HairyHandofDartmoor

elizabethhull wrote: »

Every family has choices on the housework front: usually everyone mucks in or someone (often the woman, still) does it all.
I don't think there is one answer either - you do what fits your home circumstances, your familes' personal temperaments, and set those against what actually has to be done in your household.

Flylady has a lot of sensible suggestions concerning blessing your house, and she echoes what rfs says about not resenting it. You might not be able to change what happens but you ARE in control of how you feel about it. As an example, once I stopped resenting DH's daily splashes on the bathroom mirror and thought of cleaning them up as making it look nice for me, rather than dealing with his mess, it became easier. Not that I'm a shining example of any method, but hey, babysteps !!

I'm sure having good relationships in your family is worth a metaphorical crock of gold !

badmemory wrote: »

Perhaps it would help if you decide whether they are just being men. I'm obviously older than you & have started to have some bending down picking up issues. My son has mental health issues too, but I have found recently that (provided the curtains are closed) I can ask him to do quite a few tasks. It would never have occured to him that they needed doing even though he has watched me doing them for years!


He doesn't know yet but he has the tree to partially decorate & the stairs to vacuum tomorrow. You have 3 good sons, if they realise their help is needed I do believe they will help & without complaint.


Have you asked your youngest who organises their termtime cleaning. Wouldn't be at all surprised if it wasn't him!

arsenalbarnie wrote: »

Ooh Hairy, I live with five men and one woman, my offspring all grown up like you. I feel for you with the housework. The two that now live away most only are the most helpful, DD is good with loading dishwasher but leaves a trail around the house of where she has been. However since my op OH had to join in with housework. He now does the hoovering, feeds the dogs, tidies the kitchen although very noisily! He also absolutely loves doing the washing and hanging it on the line. Although I have taken over doing the washing again as things were getting shrunk etc lol.He draws a line at cooking! We do now have the luxury of a cleaner for two hours a week as we have 4 bathrooms and he can’t manage them with his bad back. Mine always say you only need to ask but I feel like we shouldn’t have to! Was watching the Royle Family Christmas episode with DD last night. She had never seen it before and was really irritated with Barbara having to do everything whilst everyone else sat on the sofa :rotfl:

Sorry to hear you’re ill again. Yuk to the child being being sick on the stage, remember that well when I was a TA. Poor kids,sat there in their costumes boiling hot and a bit off colour, recipe for disaster!

Thanks all . People do jobs if I ask them to, but a rota wouldn't work as it would get ignored. The trouble is when DH does housework he does it instead of working and I'd rather he stayed in the office and worked so he can earn money. He can't seem to cope with housework and working. Being a man he can't multitask I guess! He is good at cooking though as he does that in the evening so it doesn't stop him from working.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Munchin wrote: »

Hi HHG

Hope you feel better soon.

Thank you .

doingitanyway wrote: »

Wishing you better soon

Thank you .

milann wrote: »

Sorry you’re feeling so grotty HH.
Take care - will you see your step dad over Christmas?

Thank you . I'm going to his (or rather fiance's) house for lunch on Boxing day, although I don't really want to as it will feel strange without my Mum but I don't want to hurt their feelings.

HairyHandofDartmoor

jwil wrote: »

Glad you are feeling better x

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Glad you're feeling on the mend again HH.

Thanks both of you . I definitely feel better than yesterday, although still not myself.

HairyHandofDartmoor

I felt a bit grotty when I woke up this morning, but I got a lot of sleep. As the morning wore on I felt a bit better though. My voice is a bit less croaky but I still feel nauseous and a bit woozy. Overall I do feel less unwell than yesterday though.

I got on okay at lunchtime although the noise in the dining room didn't do my head any good :eek: and we're still one staff member down which made it busier. It's a lovely cold sunny day, my favourite type of weather .

After school DH picked me up (as I still don't feel up to walking) and we bought thirty second class stamps which came to £21 :eek:. So we stuck them all on the cards and actually posted them, which is a massive relief. We delivered three by hand to friends who literally live around the corner from us, so that's nearly £2 saved just by doing that :money:. Some of the cards we posted had some vouchers in from the rainforest people, so that's seven presents taken care of :T.

I also took my Christmas cards in to school and left them on the table for the staff. Although I suddenly realised I'd forgotten four people including the head teacher :eek: so DH and I bought a pack of Christmas cards in Mr M when we were buying the stamps and luckily the cards were reduced so only cost 50p for a box of ten :money:. So now I've written out cards for the four people I'd forgotten and I can take them into school tomorrow.

I feel a lot more prepared for Christmas now which is a weight off my mind :T.

This afternoon I'm going to rest, apart from doing a bit of washing, so that I can do my paid cover tomorrow morning as well as my lunchtime job.

I hope everyone is having a good Tuesday .

[Deleted User]

I'm glad that I am not the only one who forgets people when I write out cards :rotfl:

Well done on getting organised for Christmas.

Glad you're getting better, the Christmas break will do you a power of good. xx

Sun_Addict

Hope you feel better soon. Occupational hazard of working with young children and all their bugs I'm afraid.

Glad you feel more ready for Xmas now, scary that this time next week it's Christmas Eve :eek:

EssexHebridean

We decided a few years back to start giving a charity donation rather than sending cards to almost everyone - it's sad in one way that it's a tradition that seems to be dying out but the cost of postage is increasing so far - it seems like a lot to spend for something that will really just get shredded in January - never mind the environmental impact of so many cards being foiled/glittery etc, so for us we just felt the money would be better spent on a donation.

Amazing how getting the cards posted can make you feel like you're getting more in control of things though isn't it - although with me it more often used to be that I realised I'd forgotten the 2nd class posting date AGAIN so they were all going to be late!

Glad that OH was able to pick you up from work rather than you having to walk when you don't feel like it.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Deleted_User wrote: »

I'm glad that I am not the only one who forgets people when I write out cards :rotfl:

Well done on getting organised for Christmas.

Glad you're getting better, the Christmas break will do you a power of good. xx

Thanks Purplemum . I can't believe I forgot the head teacher :eek: :rotfl:.

Sun_Addict wrote: »

Hope you feel better soon. Occupational hazard of working with young children and all their bugs I'm afraid.

Glad you feel more ready for Xmas now, scary that this time next week it's Christmas Eve :eek:

Thanks SA . This time next week :eek: I definitely don't feel ready yet :eek:.

EssexHebridean wrote: »

We decided a few years back to start giving a charity donation rather than sending cards to almost everyone - it's sad in one way that it's a tradition that seems to be dying out but the cost of postage is increasing so far - it seems like a lot to spend for something that will really just get shredded in January - never mind the environmental impact of so many cards being foiled/glittery etc, so for us we just felt the money would be better spent on a donation.

Amazing how getting the cards posted can make you feel like you're getting more in control of things though isn't it - although with me it more often used to be that I realised I'd forgotten the 2nd class posting date AGAIN so they were all going to be late!

Glad that OH was able to pick you up from work rather than you having to walk when you don't feel like it.

Thanks EH . I can understand people who stop giving cards, although there is something nice about receiving them. DS3 reckons his generation dont' bother with Christmas cards so the whole tradition may die out one day. I panic if I think I'm going to miss the second class posting date :eek:.