Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

HairyHandofDartmoor

doingitanyway wrote: »

Sorry you woke feeling down. the weather doesn't help does it?

It is important to acknowledge negative feelings, but I'm sure your approach will help you. So, well done for taking time out to count the positives.

It is a great idea to plan a day out so you have something nice to look forward to.
You always come back happier after a NT day and that is not expensive so maybe an option?

Hoping you feel more yourself soon.

Thank you DIA .

beanielou wrote: »

Lovely list of positives.
Keep plodding:)

Thank you Beanie .

elizabethhull wrote: »

Sometimes the list of positives, however long and true, still doesn't seem enough, and then one feels guilty for being ungrateful !!!
Something to look forward to is an excellent idea, especially if it doesn't cost much.

TBH, my 'go-to' gratitude list usually gets more basic; top of the list is clean running water, then roof over my head, and so on. Political, personal and gender freedoms are high too. So many women live coercive lives with very little autonomy that I am forever grateful for living in a Western democratic country.

But gloomy weather has a habit of undoing all one's positive thoughts. I blame the barometric pressure which seems to have given me a thick head in the morning for the last few days !
I'm concentrating on being grateful for reduced pain, my shiny new hip (!!), and a DH who helps.

Thank you Elizabeth .

I have lists of positive things on my phone and look at them when I feel low. Sometimes it helps. My mood is very affected by changes since my Mum died, so DS3 going back to uni and the summer changing to autumn is affecting my mood for the worse. I do think rain and dark evenings effect lots of people's mood. I know I'm lucky to have my family and school, and yes I do feel ungrateful sometimes for feeling low despite having them. But I do miss my Mum so very much still.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Going to school definitely helped my mood today. The rain held off (mostly) at lunchtime and sorting out all the children's little problems and concerns is a good distraction. I had to laugh yesterday when my colleague said to the children "I want more talking and less eating," of course she meant it the other way around, so that amused me :rotfl:.

After lunch I did my volunteering with some younger children and that was also a good distraction for me. The sun even peeped out from the clouds occasionally!

I've volunteered to go on an all day school trip on Thursday. We're just walking around parts of our town but it should be interesting and keep me busy!

We need to do our Mr T order tonight as we're running out of food, but we must remember to order less now that DS3 isn't here. At least it will be cheaper hopefully.

I hope everyone has had a good Tuesday .

foxgloves

I love Autumn, HHoD, & all its festivals.... Our wedding anniversary, Samhain, Guy Fawkes, Winter solstice, Mr F's birthday, Christmas, but you know, as soon as that's all over,, I often have a bit of a decline in January. It remains with me until I can get outside in the garden & get my hands in the soil.
Stay positive. I've been thinking about my Mum too. At this time last year, she had just 8 days left & no longer knew who we were. You can't help but think about these things when anniversaries come along. It's only natural. I'm planning to make some big family photo albums soon. I think that will be a nice thing to do.
F x

doingitanyway

Glad you had a good day HHOD

Foxgloves like you I love Autumn too

teafor2

Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit down. The weather certainly doesn't help. I'm another to add to the list of 'love autumn' but that doesn't mean I like non-stop rain

You have a great list of positives there so hang on to those thoughts I know what you mean about DS going back to Uni. It's like having to let go all over again when they've been home for so long isn't it.

I'm sure you'll come up with something nice to look forward to. Actually a day out at the NT sounds pretty good to me especially if there's a nice piece of cake or lunch thrown in - or even better, both xx

HairyHandofDartmoor

foxgloves wrote: »

I love Autumn, HHoD, & all its festivals.... Our wedding anniversary, Samhain, Guy Fawkes, Winter solstice, Mr F's birthday, Christmas, but you know, as soon as that's all over,, I often have a bit of a decline in January. It remains with me until I can get outside in the garden & get my hands in the soil.
Stay positive. I've been thinking about my Mum too. At this time last year, she had just 8 days left & no longer knew who we were. You can't help but think about these things when anniversaries come along. It's only natural. I'm planning to make some big family photo albums soon. I think that will be a nice thing to do.
F x

Thank you Foxgloves . I used to love the autumn as I've always liked autumn walks, Guy Fawkes, Christmas, etc. But my sister died in September and it was my Mum's birthday in November, so I have some sad associations with autumn now. I need to try and reframe it somhow. I think some family photo albums would be a lovely way to remember your parents .

doingitanyway wrote: »

Glad you had a good day HHOD


Foxgloves like you I love Autumn too

Thank you DIA .

teafor2 wrote: »

Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit down. The weather certainly doesn't help. I'm another to add to the list of 'love autumn' but that doesn't mean I like non-stop rain

You have a great list of positives there so hang on to those thoughts I
know what you mean about DS going back to Uni. It's like having to let go all over again when they've been home for so long isn't it.

I'm sure you'll come up with something nice to look forward to. Actually a day out at the NT sounds pretty good to me especially if there's a nice piece of cake or lunch thrown in - or even better, both xx

Thank you TF2 . It does feel like I'm letting DS3 go all over again after having him home for three months .

I used to like the autumn as I said to Foxgloves but now it has some sad associations. I need to try and find something nice to do in the autumn so that it can have better associations for me. I think you're right that some autumn NT visits could cheer me up; a crisp autumn walk followed by coffee and maybe cake/lunch in the cafe. I think DH, DS1 and I would all enjoy that.

jwil

Are you on FB HHD?

There's a group on there 'Action for Happiness' each month they post a calendar with small daily actions. It's quite inspiring and this month's is 'Optimistic October'.

Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/actionforhappiness/?ref=br_rs

beanielou

jwil wrote: »

Are you on FB HHD?

There's a group on there 'Action for Happiness' each month they post a calendar with small daily actions. It's quite inspiring and this month's is 'Optimistic October'.

Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/actionforhappiness/?ref=br_rs

I love their calenders.

EssexHebridean

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

I had to laugh yesterday when my colleague said to the children "I want more talking and less eating," of course she meant it the other way around, so that amused me :rotfl:.

That sort of thing makes me chuckle too - it's like when someone gets muddled and tells a child not to eat with its mouth full! :rotfl::rotfl:

I'm not surprised losing your Mum is still affecting you so much - try to remember there is no time limit on grief - it takes as long as it takes, and affects absolutely everyone differently. There are no rules here about what you should be feeling, how you should be feeling it and for how long. Be kind to yourself.

Sun_Addict

Glad DS3 got off to uni ok

What a lovely list of things to be grateful for, sometimes we tend to just think of the negative things, I know I do, but we can always find the positive things if we try. I think having good health is always top of the list.