Long Term Partner Becoming Personal Trainer (Jealousy etc)

Silvertabby

“ We have a good relationship and everything is still there....

....but! She is becoming obsessed with the gym and is now training to become a personal trainer.

I don't want to lose her but I can't get my head around the intimacy of it all. Being called out x amounts a day to assist clients, some of which will be male undoubtedly.

She is very driven and hell bent on making a career out of it. I've researched and it's a very seedy industry , I can't be in a relationship with somebody who is in this field.

I've raised it with her but she just snaps and plays the don't you trust me card.

I'm a pragmatist and just look at these things logically.

My stomach is in knots thinking about it all the time. Can anyone see a way out of this other than me having to end it?
Originally posted by NoNoDrama

When your girlfriend kicks you into touch because she can't cope with your irrational jealousy don't, whatever you do, start dating a nurse - they are much more 'hands on' than a fitness trainer!

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annandale

Being a pt isn't particularly hands on. I'd only touch someone if I were doing something like a pnf stretch and only with their permission.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Everybody I've known that has had affairs and left their partner for the a person has worked in Customer Services/Business to Business Services at the time. Didn't realise that wearing a headset, sitting in a cubicle/at a desk answering phone calls was such a seedy industry, but there you go.

LilElvis

NoNoDrama wrote: »

My career is !!!! as is her current one so I wouldn't mind one bit!

She's not going to leave you because she's cheating on you with clients but because you lack her drive and ambition to improve your life.

Pollycat

LilElvis wrote: »

She's not going to leave you because she's cheating on you with clients but because you lack her drive and ambition to improve your life.

Not to mention the OP's irrational jealousy and his ability to build a case against what most posters on here see as a reputable career by Googling.

pearl123

NoNoDrama wrote: »

We have a good relationship and everything is still there....

....but! She is becoming obsessed with the gym and is now training to become a personal trainer.

I don't want to lose her but I can't get my head around the intimacy of it all. Being called out x amounts a day to assist clients, some of which will be male undoubtedly.

She is very driven and hell bent on making a career out of it. I've researched and it's a very seedy industry , I can't be in a relationship with somebody who is in this field.

I've raised it with her but she just snaps and plays the don't you trust me card.

I'm a pragmatist and just look at these things logically.

My stomach is in knots thinking about it all the time. Can anyone see a way out of this other than me having to end it?

OP I think you need to check the quality of the research materials! :rotfl:
Everyone disagrees with you, doesn't that tell you something?

I suggest you join the real world and google personal trainer careers and wages.
https://nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk/job-profiles/personal-training

Or even an Open University Course.
http://www.open.ac.uk/courses/qualifications/q76

A happy life is one where you just trust your partner. At the end of they day if someone wants to go off they will. We all have contact with the opposite sex everyday!
If you are controlling, neurotic and have dysfunctional behaviour you are more likely to drive her away.

"Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. Love liberates. It doesn’t bind."Maya Angelou

motorguy

NoNoDrama wrote: »

Well the jealously is industry specific .. she works with mostly men now and it's never been an issue.

We can pretend affairs aren't common in the personal trainer world but we'd all be kidding ourselves, anyone who has worked in a gym will tell you the stories.

I do accept it's my issue not hers. I wouldn't dream of asking her not to pursue it, she'd just end up hating me plus she's so determined would probably tell me to just jog on anyway.

There is no way but to end it. If her future career is more important than me I shouldn't be with her anyway.

If you google air plane crashes there are thousands of sites out there on the subject relating to tens of thousands of crashes over the decades.

Does this make flying so unsafe that people shouldnt fly?

Some people die because they contracted a flu virus. Its well documented on the internet, should you stop your girlfriend going to work in her current job role in case she catches a flu bug?

Your real problem here is shes driven, has career prospects and you've already told us you're in a crappy job and i'm sure, lets say, not in peak physical shape......

On top of that you have irrational jealousy issues.

You really need to get a grip.

motorguy

cjdavies wrote: »

I would end it, your jealously will get worse and it will not be good for [STRIKE]your own[/STRIKE] her health and wellbeing.

Edited for accuracy.

Ending it at least gets her out of an unhealthy relationship, even if it just kicks the can down the road for him - until the next relationship he has, then it all starts again, only this time because his new G/F has an office job and talks to male friends.

Or has male friends on facebook.

Or whatever irrational form his jealousy takes.

Guest101

NoNoDrama wrote: »

We have a good relationship and everything is still there....

....but! She is becoming obsessed with the gym and is now training to become a personal trainer.

I don't want to lose her but I can't get my head around the intimacy of it all. Being called out x amounts a day to assist clients, some of which will be male undoubtedly.

She is very driven and hell bent on making a career out of it. I've researched and it's a very seedy industry , I can't be in a relationship with somebody who is in this field.

I've raised it with her but she just snaps and plays the don't you trust me card.

I'm a pragmatist and just look at these things logically.

My stomach is in knots thinking about it all the time. Can anyone see a way out of this other than me having to end it?

Seedy? wow.. goodluck in life, it's going to be tough on you.....


You're not a pragmatist, in fact you are the opposite.


Personal training is less intimate than pretty much any medical profession.

barbarawright

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Everybody I've known that has had affairs and left their partner for the a person has worked in Customer Services/Business to Business Services at the time. Didn't realise that wearing a headset, sitting in a cubicle/at a desk answering phone calls was such a seedy industry, but there you go.

Ironically this is exactly what the OP does according to previous threads