It's all such a mess and I don't know where to turn

Conrad

I am a mortgage and loan broker. My honest advice to many people now is sell - up and start again, and consider Bankruptcy.

The problem with many people I see is thier situation never ends and they suddenly find themselves at 50 with nowt to thier name but a world of debt. This leads for an unhappy existence.

The sucessful ex - debt problem people seem to find a final once and for all solution to rid themselves for debt forever. Often they sell thier home and start over.

They find that a once and for all 'cutting out of all the gangrene' solution leaves them in a much better space soon after.
From there the really smart ones learn to love saving instead of spending, I mean really saving lots of money which previously they had said was simply not a possibility.

Saving really does make you a ot happier than otherwise would have been the case. Spending is just a passing memory soon forgotton.

One 30 yr old Woman I know earns £14000 per year. She has paid off her mortgage now and has almost paid off one on a buy to let property. She has not a care in the world.

Life is so short, that you really ought to consider drastic action which at first may seem out of the question but in time will be the best thing you ever did.

Where do you want to be when you are 50? (if you are say 35, then 50 is just 5475 days away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

fiveyearplan

Great advice Conrad, the main reason people probably don't want to do that is it takes them out of their comfort zone. They don't really know the options open to them. I've got some gangrene of my own to cut out.

Scarlett.1974

Thank you Conrad, for your honest and informative reply

I guess, to me, I see BR as a very final resort. I love our home, it's a happy home and I will fight with everything I have to keep it - not for me, but for my children, who, without boring you all to tears, have been through a LOT in the last few years. It would break my heart to lose this house if I'm honest with you.

I DO want to break free from this cycle of debt and pain and worry, oh the endless, constant worry. I want to 'start again', so to speak, which is why I so want us to be able to do the IVA - the light at the end of the tunnel wouldn't seem so far away as it does with the DMP (current DFD with that is 2034 :rolleyes: ).

When I'm 50? More wrinkles and no debt I hope!

Thank you again xx

duchy

I've just read through from page 1
It really is an inspirational diary
Hope Homefront say yes-I got a new boiler (and loft insulation) even though I was working part-time.
Avon should be really good with Christmas coming up so keep up the nagging !!!
Nothing useful to add except keep going. You're going great guns !!

Scarlett.1974

duchy wrote: »

I've just read through from page 1
It really is an inspirational diary
Hope Homefront say yes-I got a new boiler (and loft insulation) even though I was working part-time.
Avon should be really good with Christmas coming up so keep up the nagging !!!
Nothing useful to add except keep going. You're going great guns !!

Oh wow, thanks Duchy that's such a nice thing to say.

Ooooh, I forgot to update about Homefront - they gave us new loft insulation and a new jacket for the hot water tank! :T We didn't qualify for a new boiler though, ours is still okay and works fine and they only replace things that actually need replacing.

Kantankrus_Mare

Like Duchy, I have read through the whole thread in one go.

I take my hat off to you in dealing positively with it all. It can't be easy with your OH's health problems.

You are doing great and I see you are loads more positive than your first post. :T

I have also recently become an Avon rep ( for the third time in my life :rotfl: ).

I'm onto my third campaign and hoping to do as well as in my last two.

Managed a fantastic £400 sales in the first and just over £200 in the last.

I'm lucky I seem to have got a good round but keep plugging away at it. The first few campaigns and just after Xmas are the hardest but if you can make it through till Spring and get some loyal customers you'll do ok.

Anything I can help you with on the avon side.....just give me a yell and hope you manage to get all the other stuff sorted as well.

When the going gets tough.....just remember us lot on here are all thinking of you and willing you on. x

Scarlett.1974

Thanks for your kind reply kantankrus mare (love your name by the way :rotfl: ). Yes, I think this is a good time of year to do Avon, with christmas coming. I'm on campaign 2 now and so far have just under £200 of orders with still another week to go

Well, things took a bit of a turn last night. H and I had a Big Talk and we sat down together and looked at the figures properly for the first time since I very first posted and even with all the changes I've made we're still in a deficit and we can't physically see anywhere else we can cut costs. We have a LOT of research to do and obviously need to speak to the professionals for advice, but we *think* that BR might be the way for us to go. I'm working today, so can't do much today unfortunately, but I'll be lurking on the BR forum as much as possible and a warning for you nice people who are reading this and are from over there - I'll be in soon with a hundred questions, probably each one more stupid than the last Clearly, it's not something to be rushed into and knowledge is power, as they say.

I know I said above that I see BR as a last resort and that I would fight with all I have to keep this house... but Conrad's post really struck at something in me and made me think that maybe I'm fighting something that can't be won? It is worth it? I'm very much in danger of making myself ill over this. I'm not sleeping well, I'm not eating properly and even though I'm MUCH calmer that I was this time last month the sensible side of me can see that unfortunately we're still in quite a bad way financially and the steps we've made, while helpful, are simply not enough.

Do you know what the daftest concern I have right now is? I've just gone through all the hassle of changing our bank accounts from Lloyds (where we have lots of debt) over to Natwest (where we're practially model customers right now - no debt there at all!) and it was a total pain the backside, changing all the DDs and informing all the people that needed to be informed. The thought of having to do it all again makes me want to throw myself screaming to the floor But...... would we have to I wonder? Is it the case that BRs have to get new bank accounts after BR because of debt with their current banks having to be included in the BR? And we have NO debt with Natwest, we've only had the accounts a couple of weeks. Hmmmmm

Obviously I'll keep this thread updated, as much for me as anyone else, I'm probably boring you all to tears now but I'm finding it helpful for myself to come on here and update this every now and then, it helps me to see what we're doing, if that makes sense?!

Love Scarlett xx

lexa34

Scarlett,
I've just read for the beginning.

You are doing amazingly well and think you should feel proud of yourself of how you are adapting to sorting out to this difficult and painful situation.

Good luck with what ever path to choose to go down.
xx

Scarlett.1974

lexa34 wrote: »

Scarlett,
I've just read for the beginning.

You are doing amazingly well and think you should feel proud of yourself of how you are adapting to sorting out to this difficult and painful situation.

Good luck with what ever path to choose to go down.
xx

Thank you Lexa xx

chevalier

Scarlett.1974 wrote: »

We've decided we have GOT to give up smoking :eek: and I admit, I'm pretty terrified at the thought. But, it's got to be done, we spend probably £70 a week on smoking and for people in as much debt as us and with such a deficit in our incomings and outgoings, well, we have no right really Worst part is, that wasn't even included in the SOA, we just seem to always, somehow "find the money" for cigs. So...... <big deep breath> as of tomorrow morning, that's it - no more smoking for us. We have <glances in packet> 6 cigs left and we're going to finish those between us before we go to bed and tomorrow is the start. Any words of help/support/encouragement would be massively appreciated if anyone's got any going

.

WELL DONE on this decision :T :T . As a fellow ex smoker I think the most important thing is that you and OH are doing it together. I also made a point of telling people that I had given up so that it was much more difficult to back slide.

Go to the GP and see if they will prescribe patches as this would make them cheaper. I would think your OH especially might get them free if he is on benefits

Try to avoid the situations where you would have a cigarette. So for example if you usually read the newspaper and have a ciggie at break time, then don't buy the paper and have the break somewhere different.

Throw away your ash trays. Makes it more difficult to smoke if you have no where easy to put the ash.

But the best incentive I would say is your two children. Passive smoking is well publicised, and they will be healthier as well as you.

Also in two years I think, your life insurance will start coming down as you will be classed as an ex smoker. How cool is that!

Finally I know you can't put all of the money saved from not smoking in a jar, but could you try to put every other packets worth in? That way you have a tangible reward to look at when you feel the need for the weed! You could use the saved money to pay off a smaller debt, or as an emergency stash etc.

hope this helps
chev