Adult Kids

edited 30 September 2020 at 10:19PM in MoneySaving Mums
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Jenga12Jenga12 Forumite
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edited 30 September 2020 at 10:19PM in MoneySaving Mums
My son is 20 and daughter 22; both at home. I've always bought them what they need rather than
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  • comeandgocomeandgo Forumite
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    No he's not a fool. Just a completely selfish human being.
  • candygirlcandygirl Forumite
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    He's a disrespectful, spoilt brat.Time for the bank of Mum to close , asap! You've gone above n beyond for him, n aren't getting any respect or appreciation :mad:
    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf"

    (Kabat-Zinn 2004):D:D:D
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    Jenga12 wrote: »
    I've always bought them what they need rather than give them pocket money.

    I've raised an ungrateful fool.

    You've taught him that you will buy him whatever he wants and that he can swear at you and get away with it.

    He won't change until you change.

    Can you find someone to store the bed and the matching furniture until he learns to appreciate what you do for him and to pay at least a share of the cost?
  • It's difficult, I agree that he is being selfish but when you've raised your kids so many years one way then pull the rug out from under their feet what do you expect?

    I would have a sit down and a chat with them about how things will change, not just 'put your foot down' at their next request. I hate to say it, but I personally feel, if you have always bent over backwards and paid everything out for them then it's not their fault they are acting the way they do as they haven't been raised to respect and appreciate what they have. Small steps.
    People don't know what they want until you show them.
  • Savvy_SueSavvy_Sue Forumite
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    If he wants the makeover, it's definitely up to him to get the rubbish out of his room, I'd start preparing them with the skills they need for leaving home ASAP! Getting them involved with shopping, cooking, laundry and cleaning as a bare minimum.
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  • Honestly this really makes my blood boil on your behalf


    STOP doing this kind of stuff for both of them, they are well past the age where you should be doing this kind of stuff for them! He should get a job if he wants special treats!


    He's a man child - and by keeping him a child, he will never grow up, paying for him to have a nice bedroom, cleaning the rubbish out of his room etc = yet he wants to be a man when it suits him to be out with his mates drinking


    As Savvy sue says, I would start prepping him for leaving home rather than making him even more comfy to live there, as it isn't going to help him any, to keep pampering him whilst putting up with abuse
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
  • I'd text him saying 'this b***h just revoked youre right to live in her house.... see ya!!!'

    And if you can find the middle finger emjoi give him a couple of them too!
  • Jenga12Jenga12 Forumite
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    a year later and there's been a lot of ups and downs - I'm holding my tongue. when he finishes uni, he's out. he did xxit in his exams last year and blamed me for it. i'm not a wimp, just know when i'm going to fight the final big battle when he gets kicked out once and for all
  • TomokoAdhamiTomokoAdhami Forumite
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    This is unfortunate. As parents, we want to make our sons and daughters dependent in all fields of life, but I have one question from all of the critiques here should we throw our disrespectful and dependent adults into the dustbin? I've seen the cases where adults prefer to suicide in severe family pressure of not having jobs. I am not saying it well that a parent should always buy for adults, but we should try to handle situations wisely.
    On the contrary, it could also be your mistake of not raising them in the right way or didn't teach them how to live on their own feet? I don't know what is the actual cause but right now, try to handle the entire situation in the right manner, try to advice them as a friend.
  • I would never do that OP, but I can understand your plight :(
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