Adult Kids

Jenga12 Forumite Posts: 55
Third Anniversary 10 Posts
edited 30 September 2020 at 9:19PM in MoneySaving mums
My son is 20 and daughter 22; both at home. I've always bought them what they need rather than


  • comeandgo
    comeandgo Forumite Posts: 5,672
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    No he's not a fool. Just a completely selfish human being.
  • candygirl
    candygirl Forumite Posts: 29,455
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    He's a disrespectful, spoilt brat.Time for the bank of Mum to close , asap! You've gone above n beyond for him, n aren't getting any respect or appreciation :mad:
    "You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf"

    (Kabat-Zinn 2004):D:D:D
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Forumite Posts: 35,507
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Jenga12 wrote: »
    I've always bought them what they need rather than give them pocket money.

    I've raised an ungrateful fool.

    You've taught him that you will buy him whatever he wants and that he can swear at you and get away with it.

    He won't change until you change.

    Can you find someone to store the bed and the matching furniture until he learns to appreciate what you do for him and to pay at least a share of the cost?
  • Kayalana99
    Kayalana99 Forumite Posts: 3,626
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    It's difficult, I agree that he is being selfish but when you've raised your kids so many years one way then pull the rug out from under their feet what do you expect?

    I would have a sit down and a chat with them about how things will change, not just 'put your foot down' at their next request. I hate to say it, but I personally feel, if you have always bent over backwards and paid everything out for them then it's not their fault they are acting the way they do as they haven't been raised to respect and appreciate what they have. Small steps.
    People don't know what they want until you show them.
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Forumite Posts: 45,603
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    If he wants the makeover, it's definitely up to him to get the rubbish out of his room, I'd start preparing them with the skills they need for leaving home ASAP! Getting them involved with shopping, cooking, laundry and cleaning as a bare minimum.
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • ska_lover
    ska_lover Forumite Posts: 3,773
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Honestly this really makes my blood boil on your behalf

    STOP doing this kind of stuff for both of them, they are well past the age where you should be doing this kind of stuff for them! He should get a job if he wants special treats!

    He's a man child - and by keeping him a child, he will never grow up, paying for him to have a nice bedroom, cleaning the rubbish out of his room etc = yet he wants to be a man when it suits him to be out with his mates drinking

    As Savvy sue says, I would start prepping him for leaving home rather than making him even more comfy to live there, as it isn't going to help him any, to keep pampering him whilst putting up with abuse
    The opposite of what you also true
  • spadoosh
    spadoosh Forumite Posts: 8,732
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    I'd text him saying 'this b***h just revoked youre right to live in her house.... see ya!!!'

    And if you can find the middle finger emjoi give him a couple of them too!
  • Jenga12
    Jenga12 Forumite Posts: 55
    Third Anniversary 10 Posts
    a year later and there's been a lot of ups and downs - I'm holding my tongue. when he finishes uni, he's out. he did xxit in his exams last year and blamed me for it. i'm not a wimp, just know when i'm going to fight the final big battle when he gets kicked out once and for all
  • TomokoAdhami
    TomokoAdhami Forumite Posts: 154
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Posts Name Dropper
    This is unfortunate. As parents, we want to make our sons and daughters dependent in all fields of life, but I have one question from all of the critiques here should we throw our disrespectful and dependent adults into the dustbin? I've seen the cases where adults prefer to suicide in severe family pressure of not having jobs. I am not saying it well that a parent should always buy for adults, but we should try to handle situations wisely.
    On the contrary, it could also be your mistake of not raising them in the right way or didn't teach them how to live on their own feet? I don't know what is the actual cause but right now, try to handle the entire situation in the right manner, try to advice them as a friend.
  • SandraX
    SandraX Posts: 840 Forumite
    I would never do that OP, but I can understand your plight :(
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