How to deal with a brother TAKEN over parents finances..

Rags2riches

ani*fan wrote: »

Your mum is not aware she needs help. I don't know what's happened to your dad in all this. I would suggest your family has problems with boundaries, enmeshment and inappropriate behaviour that go way beyond £150k gone missing, or however much it is. No-one seems to know where they end and the next person begins. Since when did looking at each others' bank accounts become ok?

I couldn't agree more with this. When reading up about enmeshment it becomes a lot clearer. Thanks for this.

Article50 wrote: »

Only if your parents have made wills to to that effect, do you know if they have ?

Are there any more family members or just you and the brother ?

I'm not sure what plans they have for wills or whether they have any. I don't think they have any long term plans. They just live day-to-day. It could be a good way for me to broach the subject.

Malthusian

Mojisola wrote: »

Wouldn't it lead to the parents appointing both sons as attorney which will just give the brother even more control over their money?

Probably to the first part. No to the second. It wouldn't give the brother any more control than he has already. It would however give the OP more control - the ability to ask for any statements for any accounts he wanted and to stop, or at least interfere with what the brother is doing.

Rags2riches wrote:

'm not sure what plans they have for wills or whether they have any.

If the facts are as you describe then there is very little point in them making Wills, because they don't have any money. The estate will be insolvent and the creditors will get everything.

The only question is whether the debts are in joint names or single names - if in joint names the creditors will at least have to wait until the second death.

happened2me

This may have already been suggested but how about running a credit report on your parents so you can see the extent of all the debt and accounts.