Brother problems

IAmWales

Aaron, I can understand your distress but you've been through this before and you didn't do anything about it. Can you make a plan of things you need to do tomorrow? This could be:

* Make an appointment with your GP (if you can't get one let the receptionist know that you are autistic and you are being abused, they should treat it as a priority).
* Think of someone else you trust to support you. A manager at work perhaps? Ask if you can speak with them privately.
* Call the National Autistic Society. Their number is 0808 800 4104. They will support you, and may be able to find you an advocate that can help. They are only open for limited hours, if you speak to your manager perhaps ask if you can have time and a private space to make the call.

It is such a difficult situation to get out of, I can understand the difficulty in taking that first step. There are people that will help you though.

Pollycat

Aaron
Think very carefully before you act.
Once you let the genie out of the bottle, it can never be put back in.

I'm not condoning benefit fraud for one minute but you are talking about doing something that may have wide reaching consequences for your whole family.

System

IAmWales wrote: »

Aaron, I can understand your distress but you've been through this before and you didn't do anything about it. Can you make a plan of things you need to do tomorrow? This could be:

* Make an appointment with your GP (if you can't get one let the receptionist know that you are autistic and you are being abused, they should treat it as a priority).
* Think of someone else you trust to support you. A manager at work perhaps? Ask if you can speak with them privately.
* Call the National Autistic Society. Their number is 0808 800 4104. They will support you, and may be able to find you an advocate that can help. They are only open for limited hours, if you speak to your manager perhaps ask if you can have time and a private space to make the call.

It is such a difficult situation to get out of, I can understand the difficulty in taking that first step. There are people that will help you though.

I have spoken with work colleagues today as the first text message my mother sent regarding that my brother needs details from me I was with other colleagues at work on my lunch break as the message was sent to me. I then explained about the goings on and they said ‘I don’t care, just tell her no because I wouldn’t let any of my children to be my guarantor’. So at least I’m on the same level as them.

Ames

Aaron, I really don't think you can do this on your own.

I have mental health problems and it took help from a lot of different places for me to break free from controlling abusive family, and I wasn't living with them. I also didn't have the added layer of problems caused by an appointeeship.

You've finally realised that they're abusing you, which is a MASSIVE step forward. But you need to keep yourself safe and it's vital that the next steps are done properly.

I Am Wales has given you some good advice.

atolaas

Hi Aaron

I've just caught up on reading this thread. Maybe you could go and check out The National Autistic Society website. I've posted a link below

http://www.autism.org.uk/

They have helplines that you could call for advice. It's confidential. Hopefully they can point you in the right direction. Good Luck X

Ames

How are things going now?

System

Ames wrote: »

How are things going now?

Hi.

Ever since informing them both of the blunt ‘No’ of being a guarantor I have noticed a change in my mum’s behaviour because I’ve been hearing whispering going on between my brother and her and whene I stepped out the kitchen tonight to walk down the hall way, she stopped talking. This isn’t the brother who asked me to be my guarantor as I have three brothers.

I’m pretty intelligent and not paranoid before anyone says anything. This is unacceptable behaviour and does make me think she is being a childish little b***h because she didn’t get what she wanted.

Ames

Have you spoken to any of the organisations we suggested earlier in the thread? Your GP, Social Services, CAB or the National Autistic Society?

I really think you need to get away from your family, but you're going to need help because of the appointeeship.

System

Ames wrote: »

Have you spoken to any of the organisations we suggested earlier in the thread? Your GP, Social Services, CAB or the National Autistic Society?

I really think you need to get away from your family, but you're going to need help because of the appointeeship.

If I get in touch with my GP, then refer me to Social Services will they give my family a telling off and then SS will take me off my family to go live with a different family or something? I’m

Ames

No, you're an adult so they won't put you with another family. Hopefully they'll be able to help you find somewhere to live on your own. They're very stretched though so you'll have to be really clear with them about the abuse you're suffering. You need to tell your GP and the social worker exactly what you've told us on here - maybe print out your posts to show them.

If moving out on your own feels like too big a step, then at the very least you need to have a support worker.