Brother problems

System

Yes, for my brother. I’m worried this is going to get messy.

heartbreak_star

Again, just say NO. They are your details. Of course it concerns you.

What on earth kind of car is he trying to buy?!

HBS x

System

I need a support worker .

Feeling very vulnerable right now

maman

himynameisaaron wrote: »

Hello.

I got this text off my mum this morning:

“(removed name) asked if can give your details to jst get a car it doesn’t concern u tho”

What does that mean by ‘it doesn’t concern you because it sounds nasty.

I think she means that she is going to give him your details without you needing to do it personally.


I'd send your mother a simple text saying: I'm not prepared to let 'brother's name' buy a car using my details I've already told him I won't be a guarantor.


Don't get involved in an argument just keep repeating the same thing 'NO!'.


When your brother tried this a few weeks back you called the car dealer and asked them about it. You might have to do the same thing again if you know who he's giving your details to.


I'm no expert but I can't believe this can happen without you signing something and being given a copy of the agreement. Maybe others can advise.

Ames

himynameisaaron wrote: »

I need a support worker .

Feeling very vulnerable right now

I've just read the post about your mum's text and the first thing I thought was that you need professional input.

You need to go to your GP, explain that you're vulnerable and facing financial abuse from your family. Tell them everything you've put on here - that your mum is your appointee for benefits and she seems to be abusing that position.

Ask them to refer you to social services. Also ask what else is available in your area - you might be able to get an advocate who can deal with the benefits problem. There may be other places, usually charities, who offer support worker services.

Do you live with your mum or on your own?

Can I ask what you get DLA/PIP for? You don't have to be too specific, just whether it's mental health, autism, physical problems. There might be help available through charities specific to your condition.

Save
Save

Pollycat

Ames wrote: »

I've just read the post about your mum's text and the first thing I thought was that you need professional input.

You need to go to your GP, explain that you're vulnerable and facing financial abuse from your family. Tell them everything you've put on here - that your mum is your appointee for benefits and she seems to be abusing that position.

Ask them to refer you to social services. Also ask what else is available in your area - you might be able to get an advocate who can deal with the benefits problem. There may be other places, usually charities, who offer support worker services.

Do you live with your mum or on your own?

Can I ask what you get DLA/PIP for? You don't have to be too specific, just whether it's mental health, autism, physical problems. There might be help available through charities specific to your condition.

Save
Save

I thought the same, Ames.

Doe anyone know if there is an organisation that the OP can approach direct without needing to see his GP?

System

This family has done more to make my life a misery than supposedly my so-called mum being my career. Now it’s time for me to make their life hellish too by reporting her to benefit fraud agencies because she has exaggerated my condition greatly. The full post on this is on page 3 or 4?

In reply to Ames, I receive PIP due to my autism. I don’t need her to be my appointee or the benefit to be a part of my life as I can dress, shower, eat, pay bills on time, get around independently and have two jobs with decent wages so it’s not like I need it.

Primrose

In that case you should request that the arrangement be cancelled. I am sure there are means of cancelling this appointment if you feel it is no longer needed or you do not trust the appointee (in this case, your mother) to handle your finances in your best interest.

How open is yiur mother about the arrangements she makes on your behalf. Are you automatically fully updated on all the financial transactions?

Ames

himynameisaaron wrote: »

This family has done more to make my life a misery than supposedly my so-called mum being my career. Now it’s time for me to make their life hellish too by reporting her to benefit fraud agencies because she has exaggerated my condition greatly. The full post on this is on page 3 or 4?

In reply to Ames, I receive PIP due to my autism. I don’t need her to be my appointee or the benefit to be a part of my life as I can dress, shower, eat, pay bills on time, get around independently and have two jobs with decent wages so it’s not like I need it.

Be careful that you don't overreact and cut your nose off to spite your face. PIP isn't for people who can't work, it's possible that you do qualify for it. A lot of people think that the descriptors don't apply to them because there's a lot of subtlety in the rules behind them.

I'd suggest going to see Citizens Advice, be completely open with them about what you can and can't do, and they can tell you whether or not you qualify. They can also get your mum removed as appointee.

Do you live with your mum or in your own place? How old are you? If you're under 35 and living in your own place and claiming housing benefit then you'd no longer be eligible for that because PIP means different rules apply to you.

If you're still living with your mum then you need someone to help you through all this. If you report her for fraud and she throws you out what would you do?

I think, as I said above, you need to get your GP to refer you to somewhere that you can get a support worker, and you need to see CAB about the benefits stuff.

I'm not saying you have to keep the PIP claim, just that you need to get someone independent to look at everything.

System

I’m under 35, 24 to be exact and living with parents.

Thank you.