Money Moral Dilemma: How much should we charge our daughter for living with us?

gettingtheresometime

I know the last time this subject reared its head, I was taken to task for saying I'd miss my son's rent as it went into my fun fund.....but I digress.

Next week he moves into his first home & he's now aware of what it actually costs to run a home although knowing the theory is different to practising it lol!

Had he objected to paying what we asked for in rent, he would have been free to move out - in fact I think during one discussion I suggested that but a quick internet search soon brought him back to the negotiation table

Takman is spot on with his analysis of these types of threads - what works for one family isn't for another.

Pollycat

svain wrote: »

Jesus christ!! .... Soooo glad a lot of you guys werent my parents .... £500 per month to live at home ... !!!!!!!! .... Just pure greed!!

Absolutely.

Move into your own place and pay the rent/mortgage and all the bills. :whistle:

gloriouslyhappy

[QUOTE=
Jesus christ!! .... Soooo glad a lot of you guys werent my parents .... £500 per month to live at home ... !!!!!!!! .... Just pure greed!![/QUOTE]
Originally posted by svain

Pollycat wrote: »

Absolutely.

Move into your own place and pay the rent/mortgage and all the bills. :whistle:

Absolutely - and do all your own cleaning, cooking, washing, shopping, lawn-mowing, house maintenance, rubbish taking-out, recycle-sorting, waiting in for deliveries, on-demand taxi service providing, etc etc etc while you wallow in the satisfaction of knowing your greedy parents are not getting any money off you because you're attempting to make that pittance they might charge cover everything your greedy parents would otherwise do for you. !!!!!! indeed.

Pollycat

^^^^ Love it! :T

You put it so much better than I did.

silvercar

I know the last time this subject reared its head, I was taken to task for saying I'd miss my son's rent as it went into my fun fund.....but I digress.

Next week he moves into his first home & he's now aware of what it actually costs to run a home although knowing the theory is different to practising it lol!

I hope you have budgeted, to manage without the income you will now lose.

Cimscate

Jupiter4 wrote: »

You chose to have kids out of love so don't switch that off just because your offspring's grown up and earning, or make parental love conditional on her paying you for living at home! Reducing relationships to a financial consideration isn't loving or encouraging your daughter to see beyond pound signs. Encourage her to save eg for a deposit instead with any spare cash :A

This is a terrible post, surely one of the duties of parents is to prepare their children for the world which includes a realistic approach to money. OP says they are already economising so surely a loving daughter should see that she has to pay her way! I certainly never thought my parents didn't love me because I had to contribute to household expenses.

Mistymoo

Split the household bills 3 ways and show her how you worked it out it's only fair she pays her own way.

Fujiko

svain wrote: »

Jesus christ!! .... Soooo glad a lot of you guys werent my parents .... £500 per month to live at home ... !!!!!!!! .... Just pure greed!!

On the assumption that you are not being sarcastic, I agree with you wholeheartedly. My first reaction to this problem was what a selfish, unfeeling daughter but then wondered how the parents had managed to raise one who was on the face of it so mean. How good was the relationship before she left home? Personally I would be ashamed if my daughter behaved as she has.
We are by no standard wealthy, but I would never have even considered charging my daughter to continue to live in her home which she did until she left to get married. The daily expenses were exactly the same as they had always been - one fewer person in a house does not mean an automatic reduction in gas, electricity, water etc usage, and has absolutely no bearing on Council Tax. I did not run the washing machine or dishwasher exclusively to deal with her usage and as she got older she actually ate less frequently at home and more frequently with friends.In any case, who measures out the amount of food used per head? There was and always has been plenty and often left-overs to make the next meal or go into the freezer!
The result - while living at home and once she was earning she voluntarily said thank you with a weekly bunch of flowers, bottle of wine or chocolates, and taking us out for meals or a day out.
Perhaps instead of spending time with a calculator the parents in this case should examine their own record in child-rearing.

silvercar

Mistymoo wrote: »

Split the household bills 3 ways and show her how you worked it out it's only fair she pays her own way.

That really isn't "fair" as she is paying for your housing choices. If we downsized to a small well insulated flat, our heating costs would be far lower than it is in our older larger house.

Mojisola

silvercar wrote: »

That really isn't "fair" as she is paying for your housing choices.

It's her choice to live there - she moved back after living elsewhere.