claiming DLA?

kingfisherblue

Oh your son sounds so much like my youngest - bright, well behaved at school but a nightmare at home (though your son sounds much worse than mine, I'm afraid), and masking his difficulties from his teachers and peers.

I sought help but did not receive much, as my youngest clearly wasn't disabled in the way that my older son is - he has Down's Syndrome and a long list of medical problems. My younger son did receive counsellinmg for depression, but that's about it.

Then three years ago, he asked me why he is different. He decided that he wanted answers. Finally, earlier this year, he was diagnosed with High Functioning Autism. Asperger's Syndrome is no longer given as a diagnosis (at least where we live), but if he had received a diagnosis earlier, it would have been Asperger's - we specifically queried this with CAMHS.

We haven't claimed PIP for him, as he does not fulfil the criteria. However, if he had been younger, he would be eligible for DLA (with or without diagnosis). I could have claimed when he was younger, but truthfully didn't have the energy, as I felt that I would be pushed to seeking a diagnosis. As he is quite a negative person anyway, I also thought that he would consider autism (in any form) as a negative condition. Several friends with autistic children recognised the signs in him years ago, but agree that he would not have handled it well.

Now, having chosen to seek clarification as to why he is different, my son has his diagnosis. It hasn't changed him, but he knows that he is not at fault for his differences (I never told him that he was, it's just the way he felt). He is learning to cope with his sometimes very distinct oddities, and for the first time has made a few friends (four - a massive increase from one!).

The point of this tale is to persevere. I feel that you should claim DLA, having read several of your posts in the past. Your son clearly has needs over and above those of another child of the same age. Keeping a diary is a good start. Seek help with the forms. Don't worry about other people's comments - they don't live your life.

When filling in your form, compare to another child of the same age. Use as much detail as you need - after all, the DWP don't know your son, and they don't know anything about his life unless you tell them. In order to make the correct decision - not just whether he is successful in claiming DLA, but also the rate to be paid - the DWP need to know everything, from the shower feeling like needles, to the soiled pants. You might also want to seek advice fro your GP about sensory issues - toothbrushing and the showering difficulties might indicate sensory overload. My other son (with Down's Syndrome) was hypersensitive to the shower, toothbrushing, nail cutting and filing, and worst of all, having his hair cut. His speech is poor, but when he was screaming that it was sore (his only word for pain), it was heartbreaking. It has taken me several years to help him to have his hair and nails cut, to shower, and to brush his teeth. Gradually, he has developed a tolerance for all of these, but it has been hell at times.

So, a lot to consider for you, but definitely worth putting in a claim for DLA. Others have asked about you seeking additional support instead, but you could do this as well as putting in the claim. The first port of call is your GP. It might be worthwhile asking for a longer appointment, maybe without your son there if possible. My youngest hates me talking about him to anyone (I won't be telling him that I've posted on here about him!). Ask your GP for referrals to the community paediatrician and any other specialists that are relevant. It's darned hard work, but both you and your son will benefit in the end.

Good luck, and I hope that you keep us updated.

Take care,

KFB x