Advice - ex-SIL had a baby - unsure of paternity

x.sophie.x

To cut a very very long story short, my now ex sister-in-law got married to my BIL October 2016. He found out she was cheating on him in June this year. This was going on from the month before they got married. The BIL and ex-SIL were still sleeping together throughout, but not often.

She gave birth at the end of Aug. So she would have got pregnant in Nov 2016- within the a few weeks/ 1 month after their wedding. She proclaims the baby is the new fellas. We don't know who the father of the baby is. I don't think the new guy has a clue she was married. He and his family are over the moon about the new addition to their family and are all over social media. My BIL decided not to say anything about her cheating, so she's effectively got away with it so far.

My question is - until paternity is established (my BIL is asking for a paternity test) will she be able to register the baby as the new fellas child? Is there anything that says she can't do this as she is married? I will assume she will take the new guy to register the baby. She probably will lie about her marital status when registering the baby to cover her tracks - unless she's made up some lie to the new guy.

Really don't want the baby to be BILs (this girl is a piece of work) but the baby looks like it could be his.

All thoughts welcome!

pinkshoes

I would tell the other guy immediately that BIL is potentially the father and a DNA test is needed to establish paternity.

Ronaldo_Mconaldo

Jeremy Kyle is the answer. The knuckle dragging simpletons, sorry, I mean "job seekers" would love see how this turns out.

motorguy

x.sophie.x wrote: »

To cut a very very long story short, my now ex sister-in-law got married to my BIL October 2016. He found out she was cheating on him in June this year. This was going on from the month before they got married. The BIL and ex-SIL were still sleeping together throughout, but not often.

She gave birth at the end of Aug. So she would have got pregnant in Nov 2016- within the a few weeks/ 1 month after their wedding. She proclaims the baby is the new fellas. We don't know who the father of the baby is. I don't think the new guy has a clue she was married. He and his family are over the moon about the new addition to their family and are all over social media. My BIL decided not to say anything about her cheating, so she's effectively got away with it so far.

My question is - until paternity is established (my BIL is asking for a paternity test) will she be able to register the baby as the new fellas child? Is there anything that says she can't do this as she is married? I will assume she will take the new guy to register the baby. She probably will lie about her marital status when registering the baby to cover her tracks - unless she's made up some lie to the new guy.

Really don't want the baby to be BILs (this girl is a piece of work) but the baby looks like it could be his.

All thoughts welcome!

Whats the benefit of a paternity test?

Surely if it is his hes going to be billed for maintenance or the next 18-22 years. If new partner is happy to foot the bill then i'd let him.

ViolaLass

I would go and tell the registry office that the paternity is unclear.

LandyAndy

x.sophie.x wrote: »

All thoughts welcome!

Keep out of it.

motorguy wrote: »

Whats the benefit of a paternity test?

Surely if it is his hes going to be billed for maintenance or the next 18-22 years. If new partner is happy to foot the bill then i'd let him.

This.

gettingtheresometime

ViolaLass wrote: »

I would go and tell the registry office that the paternity is unclear.

Whilst I totally agree with this sentiment the only thing I would say in favour of establishing the true paternity is if there are any medical history in the family that the child should know about.


Otherwise it sounds as if the brother is well shot of this woman - and if she is claiming that the new guy is the father wouldn't that make divorce for him easier?

x.sophie.x

LandyAndy wrote: »

Keep out of it.




This.

Oh I have no desire to personally get involved. I just wasn't sure whether the baby would automatically be registered as BIL due to marriage. I've been searching the internet and it seems that practice only occurs in the US and not UK - but wondered if anyone else had experience of a similar situation.

I think it's a tricky one, because we are all relieved to see the back of her, but at the same time IF the baby is his, then he would want a relationship with the baby. On the other hand, no one wants to tell the new guy, because then she'll get kicked out of her new cushy home and come for BILs money/assets. So messy.

hazyjo

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Whilst I totally agree with this sentiment the only thing I would say in favour of establishing the true paternity is if there are any medical history in the family that the child should know about.


Otherwise it sounds as if the brother is well shot of this woman - and if she is claiming that the new guy is the father wouldn't that make divorce for him easier?

I'd only check true paternity if there is something known now (which is easy to establish - just ask). I'm adopted and don't know mine - nor will I know anything in the future that might look as though it's something hereditary.


Will be a reason for divorce, but won't make it easier as such. Can't divorce for adultery (too long ago and it's generally not advised anyway) so it'll be unreasonable behaviour.


I suppose it depends how emotionally attached he might be over the thought of possibly having a child. I believe a father is who brings you up, not who provided the 'goods'. Nobody can really decide what's best for him other than himself. I think he's best shot of her rather than having a lifetime commitment with her...

x.sophie.x

I also feel sorry for the new guy (if he never knew about her deceit) and his unsuspecting family. His family seem so nice, and they have no idea what kind of 'woman' he's bought into their lives.

euronorris

I think, morally speaking, other guys deserves to know that the child might not biologically be his and your BIL deserves to know if the child is his or not. What each of them then do with the information after that, is up to them.


I really don't see how continuing deceit is helpful in this situation.


And to those seeing this only from a financial perspective, all I can say is 'wow!'. There is a child involved here, and it seems like both potential fathers would like the opportunity to be just that, a father. This issue is not purely a financial one, nor should it be considered as such.