Advice - ex-SIL had a baby - unsure of paternity

Marvel1

motorguy wrote: »

Whats the benefit of a paternity test?

Surely if it is his hes going to be billed for maintenance or the next 18-22 years. If new partner is happy to foot the bill then i'd let him.

But in a few years (if the bil is the biological father), hi Dad.

There always be that doubt.

pelirocco

motorguy wrote: »

Whats the benefit of a paternity test?

Surely if it is his hes going to be billed for maintenance or the next 18-22 years. If new partner is happy to foot the bill then i'd let him.

Would you deny your own child ?

x.sophie.x

Just an update to some questions asked;
1. BIL split up with her as soon as he found out. She originally denied the affair, and once he confronted her with proof she finally admitted she was 6.5 months pregnant. She had been hiding the pregnancy the whole time. She was blaming gluten intolerance for causing bloating up until this point & reason for doctor appointments!
2. He moved straight out of their rented home and she's moved in with her new partner (she was already living with him part-time blaming working away). BIL is now living with friends.
3. I don't think her new partner has a clue about their marriage etc. BIL and ex-SIL were together for 4 years in total. Can see how new partner would want to be with her knowing she was about to marry another man. It appears she was dating the new partner from 3 months before she got married.
4. The dates of birth show she would have conceived 2-4 weeks after her wedding to BIL. If new partner knew the cross over I can't imagine he'd be shouting about the new arrival to their family.
5. Have spoken to BIL about getting a court ordered paternity test. I imagine if she finds this out, then she will be straight to the registry office to register the new father asap... just to make it more difficult (if she hasn't already).
6. I've heard that she's been telling new partner/family about how she's been stalked by a school friend ... so looks like she's setting up a story about some unhinged person - probably a back story for when this comes out in the wash. She will try and deny it all until she's blue in the face.

Can't stand this woman and I'd LOVE to pop her bubble, but it's not my call and my BIL should be left to make this decision. So difficult to stand by and see her getting away with this disgusting behaviour 😠

Marvel1

x.sophie.x wrote: »

5. Have spoken to BIL about getting a court ordered paternity test. I imagine if she finds this out, then she will be straight to the registry office to register the new father asap... just to make it more difficult (if she hasn't already).
6. I've heard that she's been telling new partner/family about how she's been stalked by a school friend ... so looks like she's setting up a story about some unhinged person - probably a back story for when this comes out in the wash. She will try and deny it all until she's blue in the face.

He really now needs to toughen up and keep quiet as much as possible if doing option 5.

:rotfl: number 6, marriage certificate springs to mind.

chesky

I presume your brother in law will be sending the divorce papers to her new address so it might be tricky for her to deny the the relationship.

unforeseen

Not quite sure from the posts and their BIL wants to be named as the father regardless.

If so then providing baby is not registered, as the husband he can go to the register office on his own and register the baby

SuperHan

Mojisola wrote: »

I don't think child maintenance can be back-dated like this.

Doesn't the responsibility to pay only start when an official claim is made?

That may be the case now. I know quite a few years ago a friend of mine had been paying his maintenance unofficially to Mum, then it got quite acrimonious and she put in a claim for the entire child's life - even though he had been paying, and he had to go through quite a rigmarole to prove it.

Top_Girl

CSA/CMS don't do backpay now, it's from the date of the claim.

fabforty

Zeni wrote: »

This! I'm suprised at comments saying just leave the new guy to it. Imagine he has no idea and then will spend the rest of his life raising a child he thinks is his own and then turns out one its not. He deserves to know there is a chance that it could not be his. The catty side of me thinks the woman deserves some comeuppance too for all shes done, I cant believe she is pretty much getting away scott free!

I was thinking the same thing - this is a child we are talking about, after all, not a puppy. Surely brother wants to know if the child is really his and have a relationship with his child, if he is the father. I am genuinely shocked and disappointed at the number of posters suggesting he should let the new boyfriend pick up the tab - seriously!

TBagpuss

There is a rebuttable presumption that a child born during a marriage is a child of the parties to that marriage. So the assumption will be that Brother is the father, unless proven otherwise.

This could affect things such as inheritance rights so it makes sense to get the truth sooner rather than later.

If mum was willing to cooperate, then a DNA test can be done without a court order. Ideally you would use one of the organisation registered with the Home Office and authorised by the courts, and ensure that their collection procedures are followed (this would normally mean an independent person such as a GP taking the cheek swab from the baby).

As above, Mum could register the new partner as baby's father if she is sure of paternity, or could register as 'father unknown'.

If Brother made an application to the court seeking a DNA test it is likely that it would be granted, as the court has to consider what is in the child's best interests, and they tend to take the view that if a question of paternity has been raised, it is in the child's best interests that it be answered.

Even following a DNA test it would be sensible for your brother to make sure that he has an up to date will and leaves clear instructions as to why he is not leaving anything to this child, (if the DNA test comes back saying he is not the father)