diary of strugglin working mum

Ellidee

Morning hunny. Good to hear from you, and really pleased that you are planning to get out. Sorry about your financial situation. Haven't got any advice about that, hope someone else will come along who can help. Well done on coping so well with everything, you are amazing, strong and resilient and with a much better life to look forward too. Stay positive XX

BartGirl

I spoke too soon..

The postie arrived as I was typing and he brought me an unexpected cheque for £40!! Its from the Housing people’s workmen. Twice they were due to come and sort my kitchen out and on both occasions they were a No Show. I complained something rotten and they suddenly mentioned ‘compensation!’. I actually had forgotten about it – until the cheque arrived! So I went straight down the Bank and deposited it in my savings – cos it’ll now cover the £30 I transferred into my current account – I feel a whole lot better now!

The whole Southern Electric thing is also worrying me something rotten now. I called them up and they said that since my charges are based on actual readings – I am using £60 of elec a month and £25 is of arrears. The arrears I’m not disputing but I find it hard to see how a 2bed flat with use of only 2 storage heaters is using that much elec ??? I am so fussy about switching things off; and we’ve got those energy-saving bulbs throughout the property too..dunno what else I can do. She said they could reduce it to £85 / month but that’s not gonna help much. Any ideas anyone ? I may post this question in another board on here..

Didn’t get round to EBaying and am at work now.
Got up bright and early today and did my hair (being afro it takes flippin aaages!) and showered – all before DS awoke at 8ish. I scrubbed the entire bathroom; toilet and washed the mats etc. Put two loads of washing on. Went to market and bought fruit and veg for roughly a fiver plus a dozen eggs for a quid too! Popped into Iceland briefly to get food for work. Then came home and put 2 loads of washing on – bath mats had dried by then – and so I hung the washing out. I prepared lunch for both DS and OH. DS got spag bol and OH got lamb chops with wedges; sweetcorn; and leafy salad with avocado; tomatoes; feta cheese. All this done by 12.30pm when I headed out to work! Needless to say – OH was STILL in bed when i left and I plonked DS in his high chair awaiting his lunch..so he had no choice but to get himself out of bed…

I’m thinking more and more about what I’m going to do in OHs absence – and have decided that I’ll make lists of everything that needs to get done in the house and then work long hot baths; DVD sessions; book reading etc into that! I cant wait!!!

Keeping_Positive

I bet you cant wait youll be able to do things on your own terms and have a built in relaxation time.

I would ring Southern Electric again and ask for £65-70 a month. Say thats all you can afford and it will cover existing usage and extra. Also remember its summer months so usage should go down. Be firm and cancel dd if you have too. If the arrears arent too high then look to switch on Quidco to get some cash back. Mrs Pepperpot on here changes once a month, bit too frequent for me but she has had loads of cash back. I got £70 back and it covered my arrears now I plan to do monthly readings to stay up to date and change again soon.

BartGirl

OH finally left early yesterday morning!

I was absolutely shattered, cos the day before I’d been running around with my dad who arrived in the morning then had a party for DS – got home after dark and was up helping OH getting packed etc. I also forked out on a £13 take-away as a ‘treat’ for us all.
He was still moody-ish making derogatory comments etc but I just ignored him and went about my business as usual. I didn’t expect it but I was teary-eyed at the airport. Don’t know why.. I have tried to sit down and contemplate this one but not come up with anything yet! Part of me thinks its because deep down I feel sorry for him; cos I know that upon his return it’ll be ‘all or nothing’ and I also feel sorry for him cos he’s got no idea how flippin excited I am at his absence!

Anyway – went to the market and spent a fiver on fruit and veg. This time I bought a load of mangoes which I shall relish with DS as whenever I buy things like that he just devours them and I hardly get a look in. His usual excuse is: “if no-one is eating it – I need to otherwise it gets wasted..” whatever! I also popped into Iceland for a few bits – a fivers worth - which included 2 boxes of icecream cones which again I shall cherish devouring All By Myself!!


Went home and spent the morning doing diddly squat then early afternoon went to butchers and spent £25. This included slices for sarnies; rice; cooking spices etc. My usual monthly spend with them is £35 ish but I was determined that in his absence I shall try and bring this down. I could have hit the £20 mark, but I treated myself to 2 slices of lamb steak too!!! (how sad am I!).

So the MSE’ing must go on!..i also got one of the £5 off Tesco vouchers thanks to Martin so in my aim to reduce this months shop in OHs absence (even though he’s only away for 10 days) I have decided that I shall not go to Aldi this month. I usually spend about £35ish in there too but have decided that I shall go to Tesco instead! This is because I guess I’d like a change of scenery – and also the Aldi shop wouldn’t have changed drastically anyway in OHs absence cos I buy a few tinned bits and odd frozen things. This time I can ‘splash out’ abit! Hahaha. I’ll be aiming for no more than a £30 spend in Tesco though – so with the voucher it ends up £25. Still less than my usual anyway. I know I’ll prob end up with loads of ‘value’ stuff but I don’t mind. My local Tesco’s is huge so variety is quite good – even then non-value but cheap stuff is plentiful in terms of selection. So I’ll update on here later on how far I get with the shopping expedition after work!

Other than that I spent most of yesterday mooching around the house. I fell asleep while DS had his nap then upon waking up I decided to blitz the place! So the only places ‘untouched’ are my bedroom and the bathroom. The rest is gleaming..i did all dishes, put bins out, hovered up, tidied up toys; clothes etc. I made myself a lovely dinner of lamb steak, sweetcorn and creamy mushrooms which i absolutely lurved! I watched TV that I wanted to; and had a really pleasant evening!!
although I realise now how really exhausted I have been for a long long time. I was really snappy at DS which I feel terrible about but that’s just something I’ll have to deal with at a later point. I now know I truly need some ‘me’ time but I don’t know how to go about achieving this. Sound crazy ? Its just that I don’t know who I’d trust DS with. His dad is not the most patient of people and my childminder costs of course! Sometimes I’d like to just go for a quiet walk to the park and lie in the sun and think and be peaceful..:rolleyes:

elona

How about going to a mums group with DS and gettinh to know other mums then maybe you coulf look after one of theirs for a couple of hours and they can return the favour?

Have you ever heard of LETTS? It is a scheme where people offer an hour of their time to babysit, repair stuff, iron, teach - whatever they are good at - build up "vouchers" that they can exchange for something that they want doing.

pavlovs_dog

hey bartgirl. miss you when you dont post so often! hope you and your lad are ok - just wanted to say enjoy your 'holiday' from OH.

BartGirl

I feel like the cat that's got the cream!

I went to Tescos as planned - and spent £31.28 - that includes the fiver off. So would have been £36ish pounds. PLUS i had £3 bottoms for DS so food-wise my bill was £28 in all! Thats it for the month now!!

I also topped up my petrol and managed to find a station at £1.19/litre. A friends suggested we take our DSs to an amusement park on Thurs and i managed to blag a half-price ticket tthru work. I shall offer her my 'buy 1 get 1 free' voucher for the park so that she'll also benefit from money-saving too!
Have paid the mobile £38..unusually high for me but i expected it. They have given me free internet trial for a month too!

Shall also be signing up to LoveFilm to enjoy in OHs absence! Quidco of course...
Today I've had a really relaxing evening. DS tucked up in good time, and I made a load of mince. Used half tonight for spag bol and the rest'll go into a lasagne dish for tomorrow.
I cant believe how nice and relaxed I feel at the moment and so not stressed out! The house is peaceful and funnily enough DS hasnt asked about OH whereabouts at all - despite the fact he came to the airport too - he saw his car outside but asked if his dad was inside the house asleep. I just replied 'i think so' but he didnt push it after that..

The lovely Provident lady came round today and i now owe only £ 50. Yippee!!! :T I also asked her about Provident showing up on credit searches and she said she didnt know anything about that..

I also contacted Southern Electric again and they suggested the DD should increase not from £40 to £90 but to £60 instead. Apparently the advisor I'd spoken to earlier had spread my arrears across 3 months! The lady I got today spread it over 12 months. FAR more manageable - and I feel a whole lot more relieved.:D

pavlovs_dog

baby steps girl, but you'll get there :T

BartGirl

Wow I'm truly enjoying my time 'off'! Was meant to take DS to an amusement park today but my friend cancelled on me so have decided shall stay home and have some 'mooch time' instead! I shall blitz the whole house and have piles of papers; clothing etc that needs to be sorted through so shall tackle all these areas too.

LAst night ordered some stuff from Wilkos website and used a £10 off code - some small bits of furniture that incl deliv have cost me £48. I've been unable to afford these until this month so cant wait! Hope they arrive before OHs return. Would be nice to have them in place prior to his return.

Talking of OH he has only called once or twice since he left and the thing that has shocked me the most is that DS has not mentioned his absence at all!! He hasnt asked where he is (although he did come to the airport with us) not asked when he'll be back - not mentioned him in the slightest..this i was not expecting at all. I just assumed that he'd banging on and on about his dad not being around..clearly to him it makes no difference! I am quite surprised..

There's also a pair of shoes i'm desparate to get from Tesco's. Tried the 2 shops nearest me but they didnt have my size and not expecting further deliveries either..so shall be calling them with the details to see if the other stores have any..

Other than that its officially a 'do nothing day'. Still waiting to hear from the CCs re: my charges to be refunded. Fingers crossed it'll happen this week..come on postie!..:T

Lizzybop

Hi there BG,

Just a quickie about something you mentioned in one of your previous posts about congestion charge.

There is no congestion charge at the weekends - so if it was the weekend when you went through it don't worry - you don't owe them anything!!!

Not much but hope it helps