New boyfriends female friend texts " Stay away from my man!" What would you do?

Guest101

Poor_Single_lady wrote: »

I would ditch him on the basis that I wouldn't want to date someone who had a life where this could happen. I think it's an early sign of drama to follow. And I would like to date someone a bit more grown up.

For those that say that it could happen to anyone I disagree. This wouldn't happen to me. Why do you need to share your phone and allow someone you know to send texts to people in your phone book.

Unnecessary.

The text was from a different phone though..?

SandC

I had one of these (but on messenger) a few days after a date with someone a couple of years back. It was barely coherent but said something like 'what's going on with you and K***? I've seen all these texts on his phone when I've been seeing him 9 months'.

I texted said bloke straight away saying I'd had a message from some woman and he should sort it out as I don't need grief from psycho women. Ha ha. :-)

It was someone he'd been casually dating who he said he'd told he didn't want to take things any further. A mutual friend confirmed. My main thing with it was that he said he'd gone to the toilet and she'd gone through his phone!!!! I was like 'wow!'. Imagine having someone go through your phone???

As it goes I only had one more date with him and it didn't progress any further. However, I was wary anyway as whether or not she was a nut job I am well aware that with some blokes 'we are not in a relationship' are the words they say but they still see them/sleep with them on a regular basis regardless which can often lead the other party to believe that they are, indeed in some form of relationship. Actions speak louder than words in these scenarios believe me!

I would do as I did, ask him to explain and go with your gut feelings!

Guest101

SandC wrote: »

I had one of these (but on messenger) a few days after a date with someone a couple of years back. It was barely coherent but said something like 'what's going on with you and K***? I've seen all these texts on his phone when I've been seeing him 9 months'.

I texted said bloke straight away saying I'd had a message from some woman and he should sort it out as I don't need grief from psycho women. Ha ha. :-)

It was someone he'd been casually dating who he said he'd told he didn't want to take things any further. A mutual friend confirmed. My main thing with it was that he said he'd gone to the toilet and she'd gone through his phone!!!! I was like 'wow!'. Imagine having someone go through your phone???

As it goes I only had one more date with him and it didn't progress any further. However, I was wary anyway as whether or not she was a nut job I am well aware that with some blokes 'we are not in a relationship' are the words they say but they still see them/sleep with them on a regular basis regardless which can often lead the other party to believe that they are, indeed in some form of relationship. Actions speak louder than words in these scenarios believe me!

I would do as I did, ask him to explain and go with your gut feelings!

If someone says you're not in a relationship and you sleep with them - that doesn't make it a relationship!

missile

Guest101 wrote: »

If someone says you're not in a relationship and you sleep with them - that doesn't make it a relationship!

Says more about you than him :rotfl:

SandC

Guest101 wrote: »

If someone says you're not in a relationship and you sleep with them - that doesn't make it a relationship!

That's not what I said! This was going on in whatever form for 9 months so whether he keeps saying 'this is not a relationship' or not it's still an involvement of some sort. It's a get out excuse.

Guest101

SandC wrote: »

That's not what I said! This was going on in whatever form for 9 months so whether he keeps saying 'this is not a relationship' or not it's still an involvement of some sort. It's a get out excuse.

Yes the involvement is "friends with benefits."

Pollycat

Guest101 wrote: »

Yes the involvement is "friends with benefits."

Exactly how I'd have described it.....or f@#k buddies.

SandC

From his point of view, indeed! But clearly not hers if she's going through his phone and messaging a woman he's had one date with.

Pollycat

SandC wrote: »

From his point of view, indeed! But clearly not hers if she's going through his phone and messaging a woman he's had one date with.

As this poster says:

Guest101 wrote: »

If someone says you're not in a relationship and you sleep with them - that doesn't make it a relationship!

Re the woman you describe in your post above - it sounds like the guy you were dating made the situation clear to her.
It wasn't a relationship. Or at least not in my book.

Poor_Single_lady

Re the post above (quoting mine) I don't understand the significance of whose phone the text came from. His or someone else - it's the same to me.
It's drama I would walk away from.