WWYD Mum Struggling

Newly_retired

Your story reminds me of my late mum.
Loads of out of date stuff, presents never opened or used, new clothes unworn whilst she lived in cardigans with holes. The old tins are not a problem unless they are blown or dented.
Mum would accept help for dad, but not for herself, from outsiders. Yet as things got harder for her, she did let me clean, which I have to say I was not keen on, when I knew she could afford a cleaner but would not agree to one. I worked full time and lived an hour and a half away.

Financially, it sounds as if they may be able to get Attendance Allowance to help with costs. CAB can help to fill in the form, and nobody checks up on how you spend the money. But ideally, when dad's condition is clearer, he needs to have his needs assessed. Mum, as his carer, is entitled to an assessment of her needs too.
Putting someone in a home is the last thing they will suggest.