WWYD Mum Struggling

gettingtheresometime

Perhaps you mum is worried that if the authorities get involved then your dad or both of them will be deemed incapable of coping and then its to the nursing home for !


Can you have a word with one of her friends so that perhaps they can persuade her to seek help? I'd also be asking SS hypothetically what help they could offer so at least my arguments had some basis in fact

2nd_Time_Lucky

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

Perhaps you mum is worried that if the authorities get involved then your dad or both of them will be deemed incapable of coping and then its to the nursing home for !


Can you have a word with one of her friends so that perhaps they can persuade her to seek help? I'd also be asking SS hypothetically what help they could offer so at least my arguments had some basis in fact

oooh yes that could well be the issue, thank you i hadnt thought of it like that.

Have to say i made a cup of tea for us & while rummaging for more teabags i couldnt help but notice the cupboards are heaving with food years out of date i'm an old style gal who isnt overly fussed about dates BUT cans over 10 years out of date?!

and they both have lost a LOT of weight- she keeps saying he wont eat this or that but every meal i have cooked & put in front of them has been devoured despite a running commentary of how she doesnt like the ingredients..

now im REALLY worried

2nd_Time_Lucky

oh & the neighbour popped round to say he WFH & had an unexpected conference call so was it ok if he did the lawn tomorrow- he looked relieved when i said i didnt mind doing it today (and thanked him profusely for his help)

so now there are stripes & all cuttings on the compost heap :cool:

Loz01

Oh dear. Older people can be quite proud about accepting help so you can see why she doesn't want to "upset" her neighbour. Obviously they probably wont be bothered, I wouldn't be if I had offered to mow the grass and then saw people visiting in and out, I wouldn't think well why cant they do it. An offer is an offer.

If you spot the neighbour just say thank you very much for the lawn mowing, its a massive help and will be a weight off my Mum's mind.

PasturesNew

To keep the peace I'd borrow a walking stick and when I go there, get out of the car VERY slowly ... and limp, leaning on the stick, all the way to the front door!

chesky

I'd worry less about the neighbour and the lawn and more that your mum won't allow health professionals in to help with your dad's rehabilitation. It really could have serious long-term consequences for his future health. It's very important that this is started as soon as possible. Talk to the GP about what's on offer, including adaptations to their home to assist him to live a normal life.

Teapot55

I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad & Mum, 2nd Time Lucky.

As well as your Mum finding the changes really difficult (as would any of us, to be fair) your Dad must be feeling absolutely terrible that he isn't able to get out of bed and do his normal 'duties'.

Red-Squirrel_2

2nd_Time_Lucky wrote: »

Thank you i understand your point.

The hospital has tried, as has GP but she wont allow anyone in through the front door- says she wont have social services involved

Can I just check, does this include people like physiotherapists, dietitians and speech therapists?

2nd_Time_Lucky

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Can I just check, does this include people like physiotherapists, dietitians and speech therapists?

as far as i know, he wont be referred for any of that until dads appointment on tuesday to assess him. I think she would be happy to do this in a hospital but my gut feeling is she will be sticky about them coming to the house.

I know she was ashamed the house was in a bit of a state (totally understandable with the last fortnight stress) so OH entertained her while i blitzed the downstairs with flash & her awful vacuum cleaner- she did admit it cheered her up to see it all sparkling clean - thats why i've only just got in but a late night is worth seeing mum more cheerful- i just want to help without upsetting her- as another poster said- she is very proud (too proud IMO)

2nd_Time_Lucky

i will also keep "thawing out too big a piece of meat for me & OH so i just chucked it in the slow cooker & it seems a shame to waste it" so they can have a stock of homemade ready meals