Sharing household chores

svain

meer53 wrote: »

Sort of agree but it's not really setting a good example is it ? Kids move out and expect someone else to do all the chores ? They need to be taught that clothes/bathrooms/floors/plates etc don't magically clean themselves. Both my kids (17 and 30, 30 year old is currently between flats) know that if they want clothes to wear and things to eat their food off, they need to know how to use the washer/dishwasher and that they don't live in a hotel !

I dont agree. I dont think children "need" to be taught this whilst living at home in preparation for adulthood. None of it is rocket science. Once moved out they will figure out for themselves, because the consequence is immediate if the dont.

If however the reason for getting children to do chores is to lighten the parent's load then thats a different matter.

Marvel1

svain wrote: »

Get a cleaner .... saves all this hassle. Life is far to short to have these type of worries

Not very moneysaving as this site is

Loz01

foolofbeans wrote: »

My teenager decide they will only wash up any items they have used....and nothing else :eek:

Do they just tell you what they'll do and you accept it? lol. My Mum would have TOLD me what I was going to be doing when it came to chores. It wouldn't have been me dictating what specific cups and plates I was going to wash..... I suggest you be a bit firmer with them..

svain

cjdavies wrote: »

Not very moneysaving as this site is

i would argue the value of having a good cleaner is very relevant to this site

theoretica

svain wrote: »

I dont agree. I dont think children "need" to be taught this whilst living at home in preparation for adulthood. None of it is rocket science. Once moved out they will figure out for themselves, because the consequence is immediate if the dont.

I was at university with some laughably incompetent boys - they were all male. Couldn't cook anything tasty, no idea how long cooked food was safe to eat - scarily so in some cases. Clothes ruined in the wash or ironing, or not able to get them looking as smart as they wished. I think learning to do these earlier, not all at once at the same time as starting university, and taught by people who laughed at them less than their fellow students would have been a better and more thorough preparation for life.

svain

theoretica wrote: »

I was at university with some laughably incompetent boys - they were all male. Couldn't cook anything tasty, no idea how long cooked food was safe to eat - scarily so in some cases. Clothes ruined in the wash or ironing, or not able to get them looking as smart as they wished. I think learning to do these earlier, not all at once at the same time as starting university, and taught by people who laughed at them less than their fellow students would have been a better and more thorough preparation for life.

Ok ... perhaps a crash course before they go :rotfl:

ripplyuk

People should know how to do these things long before university age :rotfl:

I was cleaning my own room and doing my own laundry at 9yo. Making my own meals by 11yo. It just seemed to be normal to do it once I was at an age where I could.

OP, it is going to be difficult since they've all got used to you doing everything. I agree that your husband needs to step up. Ideally he would have offered without being asked once you started working longer hours, but you need to sit down and talk to him first, then the rest of the family too. If hubby doesn't take well to this, for whatever reason, ask him to pay for a cleaner.

onomatopoeia99

ripplyuk wrote: »

Making my own meals by 11yo. It just seemed to be normal to do it once I was at an age where I could.

My mother would never have stood for that, the family sat down for dinner together, which she cooked, we were never allowed to cook our own food separately (not that we had any money to buy it, and we certainly weren't allowed to help ourselves to the content of the fridge).

Mojisola

ripplyuk wrote: »

I was cleaning my own room and doing my own laundry at 9yo. Making my own meals by 11yo. It just seemed to be normal to do it once I was at an age where I could.

We were all involved with the household chores as soon as we were able. There's no reason a toddler shouldn't help with tidying up toys!

Being a mother doesn't mean you have to be someone's servant for the rest of their lives.

pollypenny

trailingspouse wrote: »

Stop thinking of yourself as the cleaner, and start thinking of yourself as the Managing Director. You know what needs doing, and you delegate accordingly.

Have a family pow wow - sit everyone down, switch off all screens, and ensure you have their full and undivided attention. Tell them what you do - everything (I saw this done very powerfully on a TV programme by writing each task on a small box and piling them up until they get so high they fall over).

And be very clear what you expect each member of your household to do. For example - each child to tidy/clean their own room on a specific day each week (the day can be up for negotiation, but the task can't). Point out that you are now working full time - spell out how many hours that is, and what difference it will make to how much you are prepared to do in the house.

You will have to be determined and consistent - and include your husband as he is a powerful role model to your kids. If he doesn't feel that he needs to step up, you (and he) can't be surprised if the kids don't do anything either.

Absolutely! You should have done this before you returned to full time work. Was that in agreement with your DH? He should be eager to do his bit.

My OH picked cooking and shopping. I did everything else until kids started to do little jobs, according to age.

I eventually had a cleaner and the night before she came it was a case of everyone tidy up.