what help would she be entitled to?

Pixie5740

What would you setting her up in a new home achieve? Do you think that given her current behaviour she will engage with your plan and actively find somewhere else to live?

At her age and her income she is probably looking at a room in a HMO or becoming someone's lodger. I doubt that even with benefits she could afford to rent a studio or 1-bedroom place.

aneary

LKRDN_Morgan wrote: »

Please. This is a lazy persons attitude. I trained as a nurse so genuine full time hours in uni and on placement as well as working as a carer to pay the bills. You do what you have to do to keep a roof over your head. Not use excuses like yours

OP you're better off asking this on the benefits board.

It's actually not a lazy person's attitude I think you will find it's every academic's attitude.

Depending on what the OPs daughter is doing education wise will depend on how many hours she should study and then there can be assessment of how many hours she can work.

Just look at the OU website it will list how many hours you should work a week 16-18 hours a week that is to take six years for a degree!! You will need to more than double that if the OPs daughter is in full time education as the OU assumes you won't have 3 months off over the summer.

So sleeping = 56 hours a week
Working = 40 hours a week
Studying = 40 hours a week
That leaves 32 hours a week
That 32 hours will need to cover travel time, cooking time, eating time, washing time, mini breaks from studying, chores etc not to mention some sort of social interaction to stop depression etc.

There is no one who would recommend working full time whilst studying!!

hazyjo

Sounds like she needs to see a counsellor rather than be kicked out.

If she leaves now, I bet she'll quit college and quite possibly cut you out of her own life for a few years at least.

She might legally be an adult, but she is still technically in the 'teens' and is obviously immature. No mention of a BF - does she have one/has she had one? Is she taking her anger out on you over something? Has she been very spoilt as a child and had everything done for her? She might just be selfish and not understand that at some point you expected her to do things for herself. In fact, she might not be accepting that she's 'grown up' herself. Some people don't adapt very well.

Really not having a go - try not to take it personally, I don't know any of you so can't 'judge', but it is a common pattern - and I see elements of it with my nephew and twin nieces (now 22 and 17 respectively). They seriously don't do a thing and expect things on a plate and get rather put out when anyone expects them to do something...

I was similar too - no tantrums or anything but I remember my mum asking for money and I obviously gave it but I wasn't happy about it. Looking back, I was utterly spoilt and selfish and knew she didn't 'need' it and thought it was mean. Embarrassed and ashamed at thinking like that and now get wound up at my nephew not paying my sis anything (and know he thinks someone should be giving him a deposit for a flat). Nobody in my family seems to realise it's not doing them any good for later life. My mum's even bought them all cars (less than 3 years old).


She will be embarrassed about her behaviour in later years. She does sound rather old to be behaving that way - perhaps more in line with a 14-ish year old (not saying they all behave that way!). What was she like at 14-ish? Worse? Better? Was everything being done for her? I think she's having trouble adjusting to the whole transition of adulthood.

Jx

Cakeguts

At 19 where does she get money from? I don't know what the rules are on student loans for college but it sounds to me as if she needs to be treated as if she comes from a house where there is no spare cash for her. That means getting a job.

Guest101

aneary wrote: »

It's actually not a lazy person's attitude I think you will find it's every academic's attitude.

Depending on what the OPs daughter is doing education wise will depend on how many hours she should study and then there can be assessment of how many hours she can work.

Just look at the OU website it will list how many hours you should work a week 16-18 hours a week that is to take six years for a degree!! You will need to more than double that if the OPs daughter is in full time education as the OU assumes you won't have 3 months off over the summer.

So sleeping = 56 hours a week
Working = 40 hours a week
Studying = 40 hours a week
That leaves 32 hours a week
That 32 hours will need to cover travel time, cooking time, eating time, washing time, mini breaks from studying, chores etc not to mention some sort of social interaction to stop depression etc.

There is no one who would recommend working full time whilst studying!!

Studying for 40 hours a week at a college..... not a chance

PasturesNew

Carmk2008 wrote: »

... time for our eldest to move out. .... 19 and shows absolutely no respect to us and refuses to follow any house rules....

So you expect total strangers to have her as a house mate and neighbour. Great.

If you can't love her, everybody else will loathe, detest and hate her.

Wassa123

At 19 with barely any income... be prepared to sign a guarantor form and be liable for any rent/damage she causes.

martinsurrey

aneary wrote: »

There is no one who would recommend working full time whilst studying!!

There is no one who would recommend treating the people who feed house and clothe you like a piece of what-you-find-on-your-shoes,

Seems like a life lesson is more important that a college one.

HB58

Wassa123 wrote: »

At 19 with barely any income... be prepared to sign a guarantor form and be liable for any rent/damage she causes.

Yes, as a landlord, this is what I would want if I were to consider her as a tenant.

I see from the link that Artful posted, some teens can get HB if they 'cannot live with parents' but I don't know what would be needed to prove that.

davilown

Op

Tough love is the only thing that would work - she needs to learn that she has to be responsible for her life. She is an adult now and therefore no longer your responsibility.

It would be nice if you could pay her deposit for her as well as buying her a suitcase.

I have a quite a large family, 6 had suitcases for their 18th and 2 on their 16th birthdays. All of them struggled financially at first but soon learnt what work money meant. All of use are at least at Master's level qualifications with well paid jobs, good families and paid for houses.

If it's any consolation, I suspect I'll be doing the same next summer. Regardless of whether she's going back to college, she needs to work to pay for her life outside of your home.

People are too quick to defend the 'poor children of the 90's' - I call them spoilt.